8-14-03 - American Pie
8-13-03 - Party Recap (w/ Pictures)
7-29-03 - More Random Thoughts
7-27-03 - Hypocrisy and the Dying Truck
7-24-03 - Party Invite
7-22-03 - Summer Sports
7-15-03 - One Long Weekend
6-28-03 - More Thoughts
6-27-03 - NBA Draft
5-20-03 - Thoughts
Archives
I have been getting a lot of crazy email recently...it seems that my column has brought me a new, unexpected level of fame. I know celebrities get lots of perks, but I never expected so much, so fast. Everyday there is someone offering me free hot sex, cheap life insurance, or even some much neede penile enlargement! Wow, my fans sure are swell. So to give back, it is time to answer some superstar reader mail.
Glenn, Aren't you excited about the upcoming Austin City Limits Festival? They just posted the schedule. What bands do you plan on seeing?
Well, Pooky, I'm glad you asked. Here is my can't-miss schedule, with the gaps to be filled in by eating, wandering, and numerous random hook-ups.
FRIDAY
Cody Chestnutt 1-2
Howie Day or Particle 2-3
Galactic 5-5:45
Lost Lonely Boys 5:45-6:45
Spoon 8-8:45
Al Green 8:45-10
SATURDAY
Old 97's 1-2
Dandy Warhols 2-3
Robert Randolph and the Family Band 5-6
1) "Honey and the Moon" - Joseph Arthur
2) "Move Your Feet" - Junior Senior
3) "Steppin' Out"- Big Gipp
4) "You Can Have it All" - Yo la Tengo
5) "Heroin'" - Velvet Underground
6) "Black Math" - The White Stripes
7) "Into the Mystic" - Van Morrison
8) "Thin Line" - Jurassic 5
9) "The End of the Road" - Virginia Coalition
10) "Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone"- Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Michael Franti and Spearhead 8-8:45
SUNDAY
Kings of Leon 12-12:30
Bob Schneider 12:30-1:30
G. Love and Special Sauce 2:30-3:30
Ben Kweller 3:30-4:30
Yo La Tengo 4:30-5:30
O.A.R. 5:30-6:30
Ben Harper 6:30-7:45
REM 8:30-10:00
My only major overlap in the schedule is Sunday when Jack Johnson and Yo la Tengo play at the same time. I'm leaning towards the indie music darlings at the moment, but we'll see if that changes at it gets closer to the time.
Glenn, where are you going to go for dinner tonight?
A girl asked me to meet her at a place called BJ's. Gosh, I'm juvenile.
Glenn, what is your take on the National League Central? Who is it going to be...the Astros, the Cardinals, or the Cubs?
The Astros lost their first place lead yesterday. Honestly, I'm not that disappointed. To be in the position they are with Wade Miller and a Triple A staff is not bad thing. That said, I think they will end up in third in the division. The Cardinals pitching is atrocious, but if any of their arms get hot, they could be dominant with their line-up. Personally, I believe that the Cubs are the team to beat. Prior, Wood, Zambrano, and Clement, a decent bullpen and a just good enough lineup? Not only should they be considered division favorites, I think they have a legitimate chance in the playoffs. Their pitching is that good.
Glenn, was their anything memorable that you left out of your party column that you'd like to share now?
Getting and RSVP directly from Miriam and not through a friend was definitely shocking and memorable. Jennifer saying she was homoaroused is something that stuck with me. And Kara looked HOT with the red hair.
Glenn, I'm looking for a good movie to go see at the theatre tonight. Any recommendations?
Honestly, this is a much more difficult question than it should really be. I haven't seen a really good movie all summer. Let's see, if you are in the mood for something silly and comfortable, go with American Wedding. If you are in the mood for escapist adventure, go see The Italian Job or Pirates of the Carribean (which I haven't seen, but heard pretty good things about). If you want to be a little freaked out, go see 28 Days Later. If you want to have the soul sucked out of you, go see Bad Boys II. Probably the "best" movie I saw this summer is Swimming Pool and I can't say that I even liked that very much. Although the sheer amount of nudity is hard to resist. Honestly, my recommendation for the one movie that will not possibly disappoint you has to be Gigli. Look at it this way, the reviews have been so bad that there is no possible way that it can be worse than you expect. And if it is, it will be one of those movies that cross over into that remote Pantheon of "So Bad that it is Good". You know, like The Replacements, Bulletproof Monk, Red Dawn, The fast and the Furious, Showgirls, The Musketeer, and The Sweetest Thing.
Glenn, who took the picture that you used for your party invite and how much did you pay them?
Blake was kind enough to take the picture for us. No money exchanged hands, but he was definitely paid in full.
Glenn, how can I throw a bachelor party for my friend who doesn't drink and whose fiancewill not allow strippers? Help, I am desperate for ideas!
First of all, throw out that nonsense about the fiance having any say about what goes on at a bachelor party. That is the last night until his mid-life crisis where she has absolutely no say. She should feel free to offer her opinion, but let her know that is is of no more value to you that Diet Coke at an open bar. First, you need to decide what your primary goal for the party is... are you looking to embarrass the bachelor or are you looking for a big party for everyone? If you are looking to embarrass Chris...I mean, the bachelor...consider hiring a transvetite stripper. For ultra-straight guys, it doesn't get much worse than this. The only problem is that it kinda limits the enjoyment for everyone else. After the stripper, handcuff the bachelor to a naked blow up doll and don't let him have the key until he convinces women to take off their clothing to "dress" the doll. You cannot go wrong with anything that involves nudity or great embarrassment for the bachelor.