Chris' Longrunning Game Quotes

Chris' "Incompetent Campaign"

Mary's Underdark Campaign

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Laura did it!

THE CAST
Chris: The GM
Mary: Torryn, druid
Ben: Zephen
Paul: Wingclaw Skydoom
Jen: Marathi, elven mage and Switch, half-pixie warrior
Janet: Leone Gavidrin, paladrin
Tim: Laura, cleric
Amy: Tiger Lily Hornblower, thief

QUOTES:

Marathi died many times early on in this game, but after this one Jen decided she couldn't get a better death so she decided to make a new character.
On famous last words:
Marathi: (to three liches) If you want my respect, get on your knees and beg for it.

This was quite a bit later (read months and months). We were fighting something nasty and Torryn was already dead as the session began (and we had no time to resurrect him.
On finding your niches:
Mary: Well, Torryn's not here right now, and until he gets back I'll be Chris' fiend.

Mephistopheles is a scary scary man.
On say that three times fast:
Ben: It's vile fire.

At this point in the game, Wingclaw, who was then a gnome, died.
On being dead, perks:
Paul: I go say hello to my deity again.
Mary: And Torryn says hi.

Zephen tried to bluff by pretending to be hurt by something that really did not damage him. I think it had something to do with his alignment.
On not fooling anyone, you know:
Amy: (on Ben's bluff) It's like he pauses just a little too long. (pause pause) AAHH!

Destroying one of his artifacts brought Mephistopheles here in person.
On perks of being dead part two, or not fighting Mephistopheles:
Mary: Hahahaha! I'm so glad I'm dead now.

Mephistopheles is not happy that we banished one of his higher up minions. This means he is especially unhappy with Laura, since she did the actual banishing.
On the details:
Mephistopheles: Yes, you banished him, and I can't send him on assignments for another FIVE HUNDRED YEARS!
Mary: The paperwork!

Zephen made some kind of statement implying he would sell the evil artifacts we were planning on destroying to this evil fiend.
On alignment:
Mary: Are you actually considering selling (the evil artifact) to Mephistopheles? Neutral… neutral… evil.

One of the things we found earlier in this session was a treasure chest encrusted with gems, each gem of which trapped a soul.
On Trojan Horses:
Amy: Does Mephistopheles have a soul?
Mary: Hey, Mephistopheles, want a box?

Determining who Mephistopheles would pick on first, I think:
On too much information:
GM: Ben, do you have anything that could be particularly useful to Mephistopheles?
Paul: He has an empty bowel and an empty bladder.

In order to save the rest of the party, Laura agreed to serve Mephistopheles. I think Zephen was going to do so as well, but more to save his own hide. On too true:
Mary: He's offering his services to Mephistopheles! He's gonna be Mephistopheles' bitch!

Mephistopheles saw no need for both of them, so had them fight to the death to prove which was more worthy to be his vassal.
On Santa Claus and Invader Zim:
Chris: He's evil!
Mary: Yeah, who did you think you were working for, Santa Claus?
Janet, Chris and Tim sing: Bow down, bow down, before the might of Santa or be crushed, be crushed BY his jolly boots of doom!

Laura really does not like Darus (an evil mage we faced quite a bit in earlier sessions who is now working for Mephistopheles).
On rivalries:
Tim: I'm going to try to convince Mephistopheles that he's got me - he no longer needs Darus.

This is out of order. A while before, Janet's sister brought her adorable little puppy to gaming.
On so cute:
Janet: Smite Paul, Snowy!

Also relatively out of order, although as a repeating trend, not so much.
On we have to say this once a session:
GM: Laura did it!

Back to the session we got most of these quotes in. The vials are evil artifacts that make it impossible for a dead person (with the juice of the vial put on their eyes) to be resurrected, ever. Laura had them and wanted to use one on Darus. Lily had given them back to her, but stole them again when it became obvious that Laura was going to have to fight (or join) Mephistopheles.
On thieves in the party:
Laura: I had [the vials] right here!

Lily's hide skill is sick, and no matter how good her reasons, Laura was now serving the enemy.
On Lily's hide skill:
Amy: Sorry, Laura, but the next time you see me, you won't see me.

For some reason (maybe lack of tact), Wingclaw isn't very popular with the gnome deity. Now he's not high on Mephistopheles' list either (after destroying one of his artifacts).
On the gnome's popularity with gods and demons:
Chris: [to Paul] Never leave the prime material plane - not even in death. Never leave the prime.

Recapping the game session:
On we have cookies:
Chris: Tim went to the dark side.

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