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T-minus 40 minutes...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 1, 9:20 pm CDT
...and counting. Hope you losers got your players ranked. Hate to see anyone with Dominic Roades on their team... hehehe.
Oh, and by the way Waldo, McKay does have a boyfriend. It's Bryan. But I'm sure you could win him over with your tremendous falatio capabilities...
- Rich
p.s. - The 2002 ExFL web site has been delayed. We had a tremendous loss in the Section118.com family this weekend. Mini-Mac was abducted... and
things are quite hectic around here right now. An Amber Alert has been sent out nationwide in hopes for his safe recovery...
Note to the commish....
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 2, 7:58 am CDT
It looks as if all those romantic weekends to the "couples" spas in San Fransisco paid off for ya... Once again you were able to recruit young Mr.
Manning. I would like to go on record, however, with a simple prediction... You are going to come in dead last, and I vow to do everything in my power to make that happen. I will go to the ends of the earth to find
anything that will help me on my quest, even if it means resorting to less-than-legal activities...kidnapping is always an option, although I am not saying that I already have or plan to in the very near future.
Just a little note for ya to think about
Last Place?
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 2, 3:44 pm CDT
It's gonna be hard for the Corruption to accomplish that with the likes of McNair and Crouch starting for the Twisters. You better do more than walk to the ends
of the Earth.
Oh, and by the way, the ends of the Earth are a lot further than the mailboxes out front of the trailer park and the porta-potties out back... good luck on your
journey...
A bye week in week #1??
by: Lavale Tailspankers (eaglesfan30) Sep 2, 5:32 pm CDT
How did I get so lucky? I landed the EXFL equivilent of a bye week with a match-up against the Vegas Corruption. You guys sure are nice to the new guy.
Thanks, Bill
Week 1 Bye Week...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 2, 11:15 pm CDT
I don't understand how the Tailspankers can have a bye the same week as the Corruption. Last I checked, the Spankings were starting the likes of Jimmy Smith and
Jeremy Shockey? You might as well start Charlie Clemons at QB dorkball...
League website FINALLY updated
by: Lavale Tailspankers (eaglesfan30) Sep 7, 3:17 pm CDT
Even though our wonderful commish promised to have a website updated by Friday, it appears he was waiting until next week.
Being the accomplished computer hacker that I am, I managed to wade my way through all of the pron on Rich's computer to find an advance copy of the website
update for Monday.
Here it is...
http://www.mindspring.com/~usflexpress/EXFL/website.htm
Thanks, Bill
COMMISIONER ANNOUNCEMENT...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 8, 2:33 am CDT
The Lavale Tailspankers have been placed on double secret probation. No other team in the ExFL is to have any contact whatsoever with any members of the
Tailspankers, or with their promiscuous owner, Waldo "McKay was good" Merlavage. Any violators of this new league policy will face triple secret probation.
Boy, I sure kicked Rich's ass...
by: Lavale Tailspankers (eaglesfan30) Sep 10, 9:13 pm CDT
227 points to 102 (or whatever Rich had)? Ouch... I even benched Marty Booker...if I had started him I may have scored 1,000 points. Oh well, maybe next week...
Thanks, Bill
The ExFL Web Site....
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 11, 1:20 am CDT
... is up and running. I would have had it up sooner if I didn't have to build an inpenetrable firewall on my computer so Bill can't break into it anymore. No
news yet... but no news is good news... especially for people like Waldo and McKay.
The site can be reached at www.geocities.com/exflonline or directly from the ExFL link near the bottom of the Section118.com home page.
damn....sorry Chris
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 11, 6:44 am CDT
And I did it with one wide reciever tied behind my back....I think this week I'll play with a full roster, just to see how bad I can whip the next candy-ass in
line mwuahahahahahaha
Oh wait......
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 11, 6:51 am CDT
I just noticed Brian is the next candy-ass in line......and we all know that Missourians play flag football, so I better not have a defense....
Fantasy Scoring (attn Commish)
by: puppy posse (cdog89108) Sep 11, 11:53 am CDT
Splain to us please zactly how the scoring in our league is figured. ie. is 39 yds receiving 3 or 4 pts? Please post point values for each category and how you
round off odd numbers. Thank you. p.s. whatever it is, looking at your score, you really screwed up.
Scoring...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 11, 2:42 pm CDT
For all you retards that haven't been able to figure it out yet, here is how the scoring is set up this season. This list can also be found by clicking on the
"League Settings" link in the left column under "League Info" on the main page.
-----------------------------------------------------
Statistical Categories (Offense):
QB Completions (1)
QB Passing Yards (15 yards per point)
QB Passing Touchdowns (6)
QB Interceptions (-3)
QB Sacks (-2)
Rushing Yards (5 yards per point)
Rushing Touchdowns (6)
Receptions (1)
Reception Yards (10 yards per point)
Reception Touchdowns (6)
Return Yards (10 yards per point)
Return Touchdowns (10)
2 Point Conversions (4)
Fumbles Lost (-2)
Statistical Categories (Kickers):
Field Goals 0-19 Yards (3)
Field Goals 20-29 Yards (3)
Field Goals 30-39 Yards (4)
Field Goals 40-49 Yards (5)
Field Goals 50+ Yards (6)
Field Goals Missed 0-19 Yards (-4)
Field Goals Missed 20-29 Yards (-3)
Field Goals Missed 30-39 Yards (-2)
Field Goals Missed 40-49 Yards (-1)
Field Goals Missed 50+ Yards (0)
Point After Attempt Made (1)
Point After Attempt Missed (-5)
Statistical Categories (Defense Teams):
0 Pts Allowed (20)
1-6 Pts Allowed (14)
7-13 Pts Allowed (10)
14-20 Pts Allowed (8)
21-27 Pts Allowed (6)
28-34 Pts Allowed (4)
35+ Pts Allowed (0)
Sack (2)
Interception (3)
Fumble Recovery (3)
Touchdown (6)
Safety (2)
Block Kick (4)
Attn Commish - Question about scoring
by: Lavale Tailspankers (eaglesfan30) Sep 11, 6:58 pm CDT
If I can ever get a girl to go out with me, what do you think is the quickest way to get her to take off her clothes:
A.) Should I tell her I'm the good-looking guy often pictured on that stupid Minnie Mac site?
b.) Should I just assume she'll love me for my sparkling personality & take her clothes off anyway?
c.) Should I get her really drunk?
d.) Is this whole thing irrelevent since, like the other guys in this league, I'll never get a girl to date me?
...and now that I think about it, what the hell am I asking you for. You don't even know how to run the scoring in this damn league. Is a FG worth 3 points or
17?
Thanks, Bill
re: Attn Commish - Question about scoring
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 11, 7:22 pm CDT
What the hell are you inquiring about girls for? You've never had any problems with the young boys. Ask McKay for advice if you're looking to upgrade to a man,
though. He's a pro.
Ummmmm....I'm confuzded
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 11, 8:14 pm CDT
Which one of you two is the bitch in this little relationship????
re: Ummmmm....I'm confuzded
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 11, 11:42 pm CDT
McKay.
Now accepting applications...
by: Lavale Tailspankers (eaglesfan30) Sep 15, 8:36 pm CDT
...to be 'the bitch' in Rich & I's little relationship.
I think the Tit Twisters had a great idea...every good relationship has at least one bitch, but I'm too damn masculine & Rich...well, Rich just flat out doesn't look good in a dress.
I have to admit, Rich's team showed bitch-like qualities when they player against my Tailspankers, but I think our little relationship is strong enough that we
can solicit the assistance of an outside bitch...or bitches.
Please apply within.
Thanks for your time,
Bill
I'm the best....
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 18, 8:50 am CDT
....last place team in the league. Look out dorkballs! I may win the points championship and not win a game this season.
Peculiar
by: puppy posse (cdog89108) Sep 18, 11:46 am CDT
Isn't it peculiar that the Tailspankers on Sept 3 dropped Trent Green for Mark Brunell? Oakland and Jacksonville are both bye wk 3. I'm sure I could hook them up
with a respectable QB but there would have to be some incentive. Also note how I used the word peculiar rather than queer. That word seems to be reserved for other teams in this league. Overuse might cause a casual
observer to think this is a faggot league. Later fags.
re: Peculiar
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 18, 3:58 pm CDT
Looks to me like the Tailspankings have more problems than no quarterback. They're gonna have to start Joey Galloway too! HA! Suck on that Waldo!
The Blitzkrieg are doing a nice job defending their championship. Looks like they'll be 3-0 after this weekend...
I'm heading out....
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 18, 4:10 pm CDT
The commissioner will be gone for a week. I'm heading back to Philly Thursday morning to investigate whether or not Bill of the Tailspankings is as gay as he
says he is. I should be able to start filing some news reports on the web site once I get back.
Please behave yourselves. Everyone has done a great job this season making sure Gay McKay stays in last place where he belongs, but I'd like to see a little more
effort putting that other "queer" that has infiltrated our league this season where he belongs. We will not have homosexuals taking home any ExFL championships. It's against the league charter.
Also... in other league news: The Vegas Corruption has announced it will begin its rise to the top of the rankings this weekend. Advance apologies to anyone this
may inconvenience.
See you in a week....
just a little bitchin....
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 24, 10:52 pm CDT
As the team that took the most serious ass whippin this week, I would like to say, on behalf of the entire Twisters organization...."YOU CAN ALL KISS MY
HAIRY BROWN ASS!!!!!" (this of course excludes mckay and any of his butt buddies, as this would not be a BAD thing for them) Oh....and have a nice day!!
Gawd damn...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 26, 9:52 am CDT
...McKay's team really sucks. I almost feel a twinge of embarrassment for him. But then it quickly goes away.
Sorry to see the Tailspankings couldn't pull it off against the league champ either. That's gotta hurt, huh Waldo? Guess Plummer couldn't pull it off? Maybe you
could pick up Wuerffel on waivers next time.
Bend over lil Twisters. The Corruption got some corrupting to do on that ass this week. You move more players in and out of that organization than Danny Snyder
and Jerruh Jones move coaches.
Mmmmmmm, it feels good to smack you bitches up. ...
thank god!!!
by: Taylor Tit Twisters (buckbennett22) Sep 28, 11:49 am CDT
With the ass beatings that my boys have taken the last couple of weeks, it's good to see that I have a week to build their confidence when we take the Craption
to school this weekend.
betting line
by: puppy posse (cdog89108) Sep 28, 2:55 pm CDT
Someone please post the number on the Blitzkrieg vs the Inbreds. I think the Inbreds might beat them straight up but I would need some chaulk to bet it. Thank
you PP
Pick of the week....
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 28, 3:33 pm CDT
If ya want something to bet on, take the Corruption minus the points (-50). Good old fashion ass whooping headed the Twisters way this weekend.
For those interested in the other boring games this week...
Blitzkrieg (-25) vs. Inbreds
Posse (-12 1/2) vs. Amigo's
Dogs (-20) vs. Klowns
Tailspankings (-99 1/2) vs. McKay's pathetic excuse for a team
Interesting...
by: Vegas Corruption (richsams1) Sep 30, 9:28 am CDT
If the Twisters kicker Jason Elam can kick for over 50 points tonight, they may still have a chance to get their ass kicked with some dignity.
Guess that 50 point spread was a little too modest.
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