Insults
- 5
Your
Momma's so Ugly
Your
momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Your
momma's so old, she farts out mummy dust.
Your
momma's so old, she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
Your momma's
so old, she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
Your
momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Your
momma's so old & ugly, her name is Ape.
Your
momma's so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Your
momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he
told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Your
momma's so old, she watches PBS.
Your
momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.
Your
momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
Your momma's so
old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
Your
momma's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Your
momma's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
Your
momma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Your
momma's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Your
momma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
Your
momma's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.
Your
momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your
momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Your
momma's so old, her memory is in black and white.
Your
momma's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Your
momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Your
momma's so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.
Your
momma's so old, her social security number is 1.
Your
momma's so old, her birth-certificate expired.
Your
momma's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
Your momma's
so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
Your
momma's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
Your
momma's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Your
momma's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
Your
momma's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.
Your
momma's so old, she owes Moses a quarter.
Your
momma's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Your
momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Your
momma's so old, when god said "let there be light" she was there to
flick the switch.
Your
momma's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side
fishing.
Your
momma's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.
Your
momma's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park.
Your
momma's so old, her birthday expired.
Your
momma's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
Your
momma's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments.
Your
momma's so old, she has an autographed bible.