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Your Momma's so Ugly

Your momma's so ugly,
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Your momma's so ugly,
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Your momma's so ugly,
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Your momma's so ugly,
they push her face into dough to make cookies.

Your momma's so ugly,
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Your momma's so ugly,
they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.

Your momma's so ugly,
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Your momma's so ugly,
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Your momma's so ugly,
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Your momma's so ugly,
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Your momma's so ugly,
the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Your momma's so ugly,
they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Your momma's so ugly,
she made an onion cry.

Your momma's so ugly,
when she went to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Your momma's so ugly,
when she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out!

Your momma's so ugly,
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Your momma's so ugly,
on Halloween the kids trick or treat her by phone!

Your momma's so ugly,
she turned Medusa to stone!

Your momma's so ugly,
people go as her to Halloween parties.

Your momma's so ugly,
I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Your momma's so ugly,
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

 

 

 

 

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