INSULTS - 3

 

Your Momma's so Fat

Your momma's so fat,
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Your momma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Your momma's so fat,
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Your momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Your momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Your momma's so fat,
when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Your momma's so fat,
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Your momma's so fat,
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Your momma's so fat,
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Your momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Your momma's so fat,
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Your momma's so fat,
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Your momma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Your momma's so fat,
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Your momma's so fat,
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Your momma's so fat,
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Your momma's so fat,
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Your momma's so fat,
that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Your momma's so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Your momma's so fat,
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Your momma's so fat,
she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Your momma's so fat,
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Your momma's so fat,
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Your momma's so fat,
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Your momma's so fat,
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Your momma's so fat,
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Your momma's so fat,
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Your momma's so fat,
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Your momma's so fat,
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Your momma's so fat,
when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Your momma's so fat,
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Your momma's so fat,
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Your momma's so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Your momma's so fat,
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Your momma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!

Your momma's so fat,
her picture takes two frames.

Your momma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

 

 

 

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