Welcome to the Donkeybunch News Archive Page!
Donkeybunch Home
18 june '03 - As a small favor to this site's hardcore fans who are missing out on the in-depth updates, Trimester comes to you at 1150h from a hostel in Amsterdam, solely to please our mass following. I hope you enjoy it. Well, it won't last much longer, but Trimester (and Jürgen) would like to say that we miss all you hooligans, whether Official or unofficial. Now let me get back to my daily ration of two pieces of bread and my trusty water bottle.
6 may '03 - Nobody needs to tell Trimester, he's a mediocre webmaster, if that. That aside, this "update" is for those who think the Donkeybunch is dead; well, we aren't (even though we haven't produced a movie in months!) and Nutrition/SNES can show you a metal time and the rest of us can listen... this Friday, that is, at the garage in burnsville mn! Yeah what. Also: to anybody that cares, please send in a nice portrait if you're not already included in the DB Friends pages. [email protected] for all your spamming enjoyment. That's how much we love you. By 'you' we mean our impersonal online audience. Our real lovers are the ones who love our movies, which is everyone who sees them! P.S. There might be pertinent things on the forum, so check it.
16 apr. '03 - Nutrition, Mittens, SNES and Trimester and Jürgen were present at a cacophonic concert tonight involving chaos and things. Of course, so many others were there, but you know, give yourselves a pat on the back. jk lol. Tomorrow night will see an epic Nehemiah showing, complete with SNES' cherubim choir and Nutrition's premier guitarism! wabba wabba! An XtempoXtantrumX songs has finally been made available - Di$pencer from Kalamazoo made this noisepiece. Hi, Mr. Fox! I want candy. (There has been some uncovering of sublime humor in our movie 12's Forwards Was Pi, between a select few who have had the privilege to see it.) Golden. Welp, see ya there.
4 apr. '03 - Seeing as it's 4am (technically 5 april), Trimester wants to make this quick: fun and ultra BONESTORM/Valley of A'Chore show involving pictures and screaming and people, and consequent eating out (oh no, not that way you sick minds! jaja) at perkins... quite a few new pictures of DB Friends (6)... di$pencer was still here to enjoy it all, too. Give a round of applause to that magickal kalamazoo native. Hoorah for hookah.
30 mar. '03 - As a postscript to the last "update", Trimester would like to direct your attention to an immaculate online conversation held by Kentius. Very funny - haz click aquí to be terrified, amazed, and everything else that comes with preteens. P.S. Look at this once-in-a-lifetime diagram of Hoof Hearted's five-a-side lineup! Get it while it's around.
29 mar. '03 - Two days ago the entire Donkeybunch was grouped in one place! That's right, everybody was helping (or at least trying to help) Nutrition with his 16mm film project at mcad... and let Trimester tell you, there were some good reminiscingments of the good old days - if it weren't for a bloody clearchannel hardcore show at the ascot room that night, it would have maybe been a possible movie night, but alas. Nonetheless, it was a good time and perhaps Nutrition will have the good heart to show people the craptastic infomercial when it is finished (a matter of weeks)! Er not, whatevs. Not much in the way of "real" news, however. This is a no-spin zone, your choice for unbiased reporting of the facts. T-Reilly out.
23 mar. '03 - Nutrition had to rock with BONESTORM tonight (last night) with no vocalist! Trimester and Jürgen and Mike and Dane arrived late, however, and didn't realize the microphone was open to anybody willing. Well shit. But, the music was still satisfying, and no doubt an interesting thing to see an "instrumental" hardcore band. Future dates for Bonestorm include 4 April and 18 April; XtempoXtantrumX might even perform at a show with Webster's band... whose name Trimester forgets. Earlier in the day, Trimester had attended an Atom and His Package performance with Brazil... Atom is a funny boy, no doubt about it. In other news, a movie might possibly happen this week since DQ and Nutrition are on break... however, Nutrition's film project will take much time for him, but at least Trimester will be able to revive video-making memories and even be filmed by a 16mm camera in a real film studio. Anyway, good times and open the window. huh?
15 mar. '03 - It really is too bad for those of you who didn't go see BONESTORM and company last night. Nutrition agrees, much fun was had; and if Trimester may indulge in a bit of popularity, his Peewee Herman dance was recognized by A Summary Execution and is now in the annals of twin cities hardcore history. Blanket and Dairy Queen were also there, and some talk is going around of a DB gathering sometime between Thursday (when Mittens returns from somewhere) and the weekend? Huh. Last night reminds Trimester of something: there are plenty of DB Friends that have no picture up on the site yet. Either send some or die... we could work something out.
12 mar. '03 - Just a reminder to everybody that isn't dumb, BONESTORM will be performing on pi day, 14 march - this Friday. I'm sure anyone who reads this will either a) already know about it or b) not have any idea what Trimester is talking about! That's okay though, until Bonestorm gets a rockin' website... which might happen? Welp, anyway, rumor has it that Blanket has his university spring break next week, and DQ/Nutrition have theirs the week after. This may provide a much-needed chance to produce a classic DB movie with all official members, but only time will tell... especially if Blanket emails me back, geez. Finally, check out what happened last night in the mushrooming career of XtempoXtantrumX. When even more songs are available, you'll never go hungry again. (That's why Preston is still on the front page, whoa. Erok Eric Shay also belongs there. Yes.)
3 mar. '03 - First things first, while Trimester's eyes are still functioning despite the harmful bombardment from the computer: Nutrition reported that the newest movie will most likely be finished or almost so in about two weeks (or whenever the MCAD spring break is)... you see, he's been busy playing guitar and such, and the movie editing is understandable. Secondly, new DB Friends additions. In order of importance but not appearance: Preston, vatos locos, deadbeat mother. Please enjoy, especially Preston's model shot. 5th hour Mr. Brady English class or so I'm told, the last day of a strenuous musical performance or so I'm told. And most likely a daytime Mall Hooligans video tomorrow!!! Then next week, all kinds of XtempoXtantrumX mischief - hint: Preston, cowbells, bongos, Erok, camcorder, domcumentary, video showings. BAM!!!
23 feb. '03 - Only while adding three new DB Friends pictures did Trimester realize that the newest friends page was heretofore not linked to, if I may end a proposition with a preposition. And I may. Anyway, some of the new additions include two more girls (S&M for short) and Wesley Willis and Atom (and his package). See them all on DB Friends 5! Uuuummmmmmm... no further news with the latest movie editing yet, but just be patient you impatients. P.S. The grammy awards are stupid. I know, let's use small children to make our television program more popular! Gwaaaayyyyy!
21 feb. '03 02:16h - Trimester writes this not long after returning from SNES' household (empty for the next week! drugs party!!!). And the planned movie went down! It was more of a mockumentary kind of thing, and it is to be edited in the next week or so. Yes, even though it wasn't "old school" Donkeybunch material, the four artists played by Nutrition, Mittens, SNES, and Trimester were artistic. Not to mention the tact of Choad and his role as interviewer - you see, the four Donkeybunchers (Dairy Queen was not present) each wrote a few questions to be asked blindly to another DBer (by Choad of course), thus making it interesting and unscripted. We don't have a name for it yet, but it shall be apparent (along with a few pictures) when Nutrition finishes the final product. Ooh. Here's a small description: SNES played Corey Douglas and had a fake beard. Nutrition played Francois Jones, and had a beatnik look (yes, beret was present). Mittens was Helmut (something something), with a shawl and Bernie. Trimester portrayed Conrad YEH! (i.e., Hooligan noise) and was wearing a tight blue sweater. Choad, as mentioned earlier, was the museum curator and interviewer - name unknown to Trimester at this moment. There you have it, just wait for the premiere(s)!!!
18 feb. '03 - Prepare yourselves... for a Donkeybunch movie in two days! What, is that a typing error? Trimester doesn't think so! And this isn't just another false announcement... between you and me, Dairy Queen has something to say. Well he does. And this movie business should prove to be a very welcome relief after more than half a year of anxiety! Be happy, all... Trimester also is curious about some other movies; that is, the movies made by Choad and others, such as Dan P. There won't be too much more information until Total Regal is made public. Yeah what. This calls for a tea party! Trimester takes my leave with a happy heart. Pax etcetera. P.S. "Pocket Calculator" by Kraftwerk is genius. (Thanks be to Erok for suggesting it... he also helped with an Adventure Island song for XtempoXtantrumX. Sweet.) P.P.S. Everybody - and I mean everybody - should have attended the Bonestorm show on 15 feb at The Garage in Burnsville. Youth centers and hardcore dancing and sixteen year old youths and xcreepinxcharliex and FREEEDOOOOOOM make for a very fun and entertaining night. Fin.
12 feb. '03 - This is merely to inform those of you who appreciate overlooked music that Choad will be coming out with his second cd soon... read about it on his new website (with 3 playable songs) Ladies, Get In Line. It is apparent that talented musicians think alike - Choad and XtempoXtantrumX are mutually likeable. Also: the people known as Choad, Dan, and Mel (others?) are purported to be in production of an epic movie. This is just an interesting, pertinent piece... because upon the first showing, Trimester shall enjoy it no matter what. Lates peeps. P.S. Altered links section, go there and click click like the Ju/'hoansi of southern Africa.
11 feb. '03 - All right, Trimester just needed to change something on here, if only the front-page friend (cousin?) and this "news" bulletin. Alas, alas, a movie that was partially planned for five days ago did not come to be... in fact, between SNES' Nehemiah recording and Blanket's cohorting with Jordan Dick, and Dairy Queen's unpresence, a showing of Boogie Nights at Mitten's house attracted the remaining two DB players. It was fun, don't get the Tri wrong. Just... just... movie fever! P.S. Heckle Dairy Queen about his academy awards Lord of the Rings dvd. Also a link to Trimester's online omg lol journal.
1 feb. '03 - (donkeybunch.com should be renewed for another year as of 9 March... so yeah.) A couple new DB Friends pictures, and some precious moments of a tea party in DB Movie pics. And to all y'all that feel left out, send us a picture already ([email protected])! We use the royal 'we' to qualify our authority. In non-electronic news, Nutrition has begun some 16mm film project things, and gee does it sound expensive and difficult. He and Trimester have shown willpower to make another movie, and it must be so, even if all the others are languishing in their own decadence right now! Oh yeah, and XtempoXtantrumX is seriously on the verge of making a cd and giving it to small children. Are you interested? Of course you are - Preston likes it, so you should too. Give a listen to the mp3s, it's worth your while. I guess that's what these updates will be like until we make another Donkeybunch movie, wooo! Or get DQ to convert those heathen camcorder tapes to computer video dvd madness. Goodbye. P.S. Trimester, Jurgen, Flip, and Kentius had a sleepover last night. LOL G2G ttyl!
1 feb. '03 - (donkeybunch.com should be renewed for another year as of 9 March... so yeah.) A couple new DB Friends pictures, and some precious moments of a tea party in DB Movie pics. And to all y'all that feel left out, send us a picture already ([email protected])! We use the royal 'we' to qualify our authority. In non-electronic news, Nutrition has begun some 16mm film project things, and gee does it sound expensive and difficult. He and Trimester have shown willpower to make another movie, and it must be so, even if all the others are languishing in their own decadence right now! Oh yeah, and XtempoXtantrumX is seriously on the verge of making a cd and giving it to small children. Are you interested? Of course you are - Preston likes it, so you should too. Give a listen to the mp3s, it's worth your while. I guess that's what these updates will be like until we make another Donkeybunch movie, wooo! Or get DQ to convert those heathen camcorder tapes to computer video dvd madness. Goodbye. P.S. Trimester, Jurgen, Flip, and Kentius had a sleepover last night. LOL G2G ttyl!
29 jan. '03 4:20pm - I'm so stoned, you piece of shit! But seriously brah, according to Nutrition, Nehemiah was in the studio yesterday, and (ignoring the Nehemiah recording) there might have been some talk about getting another Donkeybunch movie out there, not to mention the hopeful inception of the DVD process! Yayers, duders. And much has happened with Tempo Tantrum: more songs on the mp3 site (and "Fuck My School" is on hold because of offensive content); a very preliminary official xtempoxtantrumx website... yesterday we made two songs, and today we're set to make at least one more (with Mike M. the guy), and Friday with Kentius the human individual. Rockin', I can't believe that worked! Stay tuned and in touch. [note: 2000 hits on donkeybunch.com and 5000 on geocities.com/donkeybunch!]
23 jan. '03 - Not much in the way of news... except a few things. First, there are a couple new DB friends pictures uploaded and well there you have it - friends are important! Also, Trimester announces again that (s)he would like for people to send in some pictures for the Friends section (look at the Forum). Toight phat. Another very important piece of information: TEMPO TANTRUM is climbing the mp3 top 20 list! (For electronic experimental noise, that is.) As of this typing, only the song "Tempo Tantrum" is up, but three more are to come. We have about 15 songs or so, Virgil and Jurgen do. (For some reason, the url www.mp3.com/xtempoxtantrumx doesn't seem to work... well, if you try it and it fails, just search for Tempo Tantrum, not the progressive rock band haha.) Yep. Word you all!
18 jan. '03 4:45pm - Trimester must make this a mere update of certain proportions, because he and J�rgen are about to join Nutrition, Naked Nick, and others to a hardcore musical event, in which Bonestorm will be rocking out. So, here's the short update which might or might not be updated again later tonight: A HUGELY successful Mall Hooligans video last night! (If we take our definition of "success" to be "irritating mall security enough to be driven out of three malls", that is.) Trimester verily hopes for some great pictures, which will no doubt come from J�rgen's video. This is also a part of a not-quite-in-the-making epic Hooligans edited video, which will be digitally edited, we hope. This is pending. And in other news, but extremely gratifying for Trimester, Tempo Tantrum has been approved on mp3.com! Oh wait, they approved it, so it can't be vigilante metal. Sheeit. Anyway, Trimester had to change the unofficial name to Tempo-Tantrum, but still... and here's the site: http://www.mp3.com/xtempoxtantrumx. Only our self-titled song is up so far. But many more to come from this most-of-the-time duet of J�rgen and Virgil. Keep it realistically, man (Mall Hooligans 3, duh). ...... Oh wait, there should be about 5000 hits by now! (geocities site) Huh.
Monday the 13th, 2003 - Wow, only thirty or so more hits for www.geocities.com/donkeybunch and there will have been 5000 hits! Not remarkable, but it's a round number, so let's celebrate. Who's got the huca? Calling all persons - come together and marvel at the wonders and awe of the Donkeybunch and you! (assuming you are a friend, and you can send a picture to [email protected] if you want to be visually represented as a Friend of the DB.) Trimester salutes those who see this!
6pm - Salvation! No, I'm not talking about compassion and human rights, it's time for new NeighborHooligan pictures and sounds (scroll to the bottom). In Trimester's eye, these are superb, apart from the very low quality, oops. Also, take a look at the making of Tempo Tantrum songs. (There will soon be an mp3 website with various XtempoXtantrumX songs, so keep your eyes crossed.) Also, a link to some friends' sites! (Links page, duh.) Look for Adventure Island, it's grand. Farewell, all! Enjoy the latest effort put in by Trimester to make this the most epic site in NNW Maple Grove. And there is the potential that the Donkeybunch itself as well as the Hooligans could reach worldwide acclaim - I mean, look at those Brits, they've already taken us up into their hearts! Das Boot/Hoof Hearted, we/I love you.
9 jan. '03, 4:20pm - Oh friends, commiserate... Trimester woke up a mere half-hour ago, and now it's already time to rip open the mushroom and bud sack! Well okay, maybe the only thing is to do something with this website. But don't take that for apathy or unenthusiastic determination - soon there will be numerous new pics from NeighborHooligans (Trimester's idly created name for our last video) as well as the noise project known sometimes as Tempo Tantrum (even though a band already has the name... it fits J�rgen and Trimester much better). So cheer up, play sports, have hope, and be happy!
4 jan. 03 - A minor update on the Donkeybunch movie pages: if some of you noticed that the links on top didn't always show the same number pages, then you will be grateful for what Trimester has done. Hint: there are 30 movie pic pages now. Oooh. On 2 January, Tif, Flip, sort of Chuckwagon, and Trimester made a neighborhood-type Hooligans video. No pics yet, but the highlight was Flip's self-induced vomiting. Three times, goo! Also steaming urine, oops. Otherwise the main idea of the video was a return to ding-dong ditch type things, including a delicious ploy of blocking the street with four garbage cans. "We're the city sanitation department, leave it alone. Turn around." Ha, shows those crackers. Finally, the Donkeybunch may gather in the next few days, perhaps. Trimester takes his leave!
2003 t minus 6h35m - OMG LOL ASL, a new year is foreboding and imminent, a veritable portent of occurences unimaginable by the human mind. And so it is with Trimester, who is updating this site because she has nothing planned for tonight. What, I thought Trimester was a bi-cyclist vegan boy!? Oh yes. You see the thing is, whether it's due to SNES' current absence or Trimester's will to call some comrades, I must say it yet again: not much new Donkeybunch-wise. The DVD *should* undergo preliminary production "soon" - which means, at whatever time that Dairy Queen consents to physical and emotional violation. I love all my comrades, but I've only seen them when we saw Lord of the Rings (also the xmass movie with lecherous Virgil santa), minus Super Nintendo. Well I tell you, events will happen soon. Hooligan news: a video, precariously accomplished, occurred a few nights ago... despite morale that was not as high as in the past, Flip/Tif/J�rgen/Trimester made a satisfying run-through of authority and public spectacles (Eden Prairie mall, damn cake eaters, jaja). Kicked out of Sears (because Flip walked around in a luggage case), Target (Tif/Trimester/Flip as a triad of scooterers), Cub (Bubbles authority: "you need to settle down, this isn't a place to fuck around" Trimester: "Did you say fuck, you fucking asshole?!"), Eden Prairie Liquor ("let me see your IDs")... fun times. Pictures may be posted when Trimester records the video, stupid channel 5. Jason Davis, go on the road somewhere else! I didn't want to record you, I wanted to record some damn Hooligan video!!!! I wish you all a good end of days.
23 dec. '02 - This is the radio clash, but oh wait... Joe Strummer died yesterday, whoa weird. Let's all take some mescaline. Oh yeah, music: Nehemiah is going on a short tour in a few days, check them out since you'll all be in Tucson for Hella Fest! Well still, tell 'em Log sent you. And of course Super Nintendo, and Biddly, and Choad, and and and well those two older useless kids. YEAH, sign on to CAPITOL RECORDS you fucking rock stars! No. ... Trimester just remembered that Mittens and Nutrition should be finished soon with the "Night before christmass" video, starring Mittens as the narrator, Trimester as virgil-santa, Blanket as the mother, and Felix the cat as not even a mouse. Wha wha, speaking of video editing: the DVD process hasn't even begun, supposedly because of Super Nintendo's belated tape-giving to Dairy Queen. Bah. But, Nutrition (probably DQ as well) has some great examples of what can be done with digital video editing - this includes a skate video, and different things, which include movie trailers, which included (until recently) a Hillbilly trilogy trailer... yes, I suppose the DB movies will be edited from now on? Well that means we have to make one soon, eh?! By the way, Trimester's biography has a new picture on it. Nothing too important Donkeybunch-wise. Welp, tomorrow and the next day (3-days-after-winter-solstice and 4-days-after-winter-solstice) will be filled with consumerist platitudes (buy buy buy) and gluttonous occasions. Get!
17 dezembre, dois mil dois - Hey everyone, look at this inaugural piece of Donkeybunch international fame!!! ---> Mukesh, who you may remember from the DB forum (Hoof Hearted), has posted explicitly DB-related "news" on the Das Boot website! Woo, first it was someone from San Diego, and now it's Coventry in the UK! Weird. In other, extremely unimportant, news, Trimester is back in the jurisdiction of all that is good. (Not weather-wise, just the Donkeybunch, Hooligans, etc.) Trimester apologizes to all of the Donkeybunch for not attempting to communicate this yesterday. But now is the time. Free things for everybody, but no "holyday" gifts. Notta one. So shoot me, you right wingers!
7 dec. 02 - Respected and beloved comrades, respected and beloved comrades: Hello brothers and sisters! (A much-needed rejection of sexism, thanks in part to posts on the DB forum!) Trimester is back from visiting Pol Pot at a catholic stronghold in the battlefields of California, as well as the wetlands of Redmond, Washington. Now it's do or die, because Trimester will return to Donkeybunch-land in about ten days. Rejoice all, all will rejoice! Still not too much Donkeybunch-related stuff to update, however some interesting things... for example, from a certain source Trimester ascertained that Dairy Queen received, among other things, a Van Halen sweatshirt for his birthday. Stupid consumerist! (Also, Mukesh from Hoof Hearted led Trimester to find a new website, apparently made by Hoof Hearted [duh, the UK footballers] - Das Boot.) On a more important note, Bonestorm and Nehemiah played a musical showing at the Segue, of all places, and people say it was great. Well duh. Furthermore, according to two sources, it seemed "just like Maple Grove last year" on account of all the familiar faces. In conclusion, Trimester will frighten some of you with longer-than-ever head and leg hair, which will soon return to being shaved! No words can express the anticipation of the end of Trimester's four-month absence. Peace and such.
11/17/02 - So Trimester isn't sure if there will be much to update until next month... but it shall be glorious at that time, with all new stories to tell and such! Visit the forum or email [email protected] if you really want some Donkeybunch (Trimester) news. But, in a month the Donkeybunch shall be back in its entirety, yes!
11/6/02 - On the night of the last update, Trimester filmed some comrades to make a "Cribs" episode which involved thug fashion, crystal/sysurp, pizza boxes, smoke-out room rastamans, Roll Out, and moonstomping. The pics from this video begin the 30th DB Movie pics page, whoahuh. Four nights later Trimester went to a hardcore concert in Santa Fe, and got three measly pics from Bleeding Through and The Hope Conspiracy (dude, it's core). There is also a pic from that show on the aforementioned Movie pics page. As for Donkeybunch plans, they exist. We're not sure about when or what about, but we'll make a reunion movie this winter. But before that, Nutrition and Dairy Queen are working on a final project for MCAD, which is a movie! Perhaps the FORUM will let you know more. Oh, and expect a delay in updates from around mid-Nov. until early December. Yours truly will be travelling to visit various persons, i.e. Pol Pot Larry, Little B from Phoenix, and an unlucky driver who will get slit in the throat after picking me up on the road. Who, me? Uh, I actually won't kill anyone.
10/31/02 - DRUGS! Donkeybunch fans of all persuasions will enjoy today's updates. Some very overdue DB Friends pics, including Flip and Car, have been graciously added to the eternal Donkeybunch legacy. Even more pictures of Mall Hooligans, with Kenny as well as "The Unofficial Mall Hooliganz, tight" video that was made a while ago... in which Flip accomplishes a potentially leg-breaking feat. Just look already! And of course, Trimester has procrastinated too long with the S.P.O.R.T.S. site, so here is a slightly altered and newly-updated antisports site. But at the time of this newsflash, geocities alarmed me that the site is unavailable because of bandwidth usage. Pro-sports fascists. PLEASE PLEASE visit these sites I have mentioned nine just now, you... will... not... regret... the time you spend enriching your cultural diversity.
10/26/02 - THIS JUST IN: it probably will only matter to the Donkeybunch, but it has been reported by Nutrition that the lost tapes are now recovered from that one guy, to whom SNES lent the tapes a long while ago! You see, the forum can serve a purpose. Trimester reluctantly detracts his statement about airing "Urinator Sum" online, despite the possibility of video compression. Sorrow exudes from my bleeding heart. But this winter still has some good stuff in store, including a hooligan-type video that may be similar to the movie "Over the Edge" (a neglected punk classic?) - I've never seen it, only heard about it in the white-kid-unemployed zine Evasion. To those about to die of cold, Trimester salutes you.
10/25/02 - [Paul Wellstone was shot by George Double U from a long-range Christian ranch missile launcher.] Well ma'ams and sirs, some digital things to announce. The DB Forum has sort of started to be utilized again - among the posts is a revelation by Dairy Queen about his and Nutrition's future digital video skillz! We should expect great things. You may remember that Trimester was in Denver two weeks ago - here are some video clips from his authority camcorder: you know what this means! If you don't know what it means, I'll tell you: "Urinator Sum" will probably be available for viewing online within the next five years! (Just to give it time.) Everyone will drop their jaws. Experimentalnoisecore now has CDs, and more recordings to come in the winter. Wha wha wha wha! WWWW!
10/18/02 - I tells ya, Trimester can get lazy about things. But that's okay, because he has something to say, while eating hay. First, a sample of pictures from his trip to Denver, in which columbus day (and racism, colonialism, etc.) was shat upon and Trimester was detained by authority. All in all, a fun time, and Trimester even went to a Boysetsfire show to shoot the fat and chew the breeze with mein frater, the sluttypants. Like, whoa. ... The S.P.O.R.T.S. organization is increasingly gaining popularity, from MG to Deutschland! (All this despite sporadic updates, and an unchanged welcome sound...) Um, so if you feel confused, just let authority shape your understanding of things. War is peace, out!
(picture caption) Cops. Po-po. Pigs. Po-lice. Authority. Whatever the name, these compassionate beings love to surveil anyone who isn't reactionary! Or at least people named Trimester who dress in a rainbow-striped turtleneck and a black ski mask. And thirty others, too! For walking in a group! Now that calls for an iron fist, hein? (No, they never told Trimester to turn off that blasted analog video recorder. Suckas.)
10/7/02 - (The sound that may be playing right now is from "I Shot Andy Warhol." Trimester is SCUM's biggest supporter.) Huh, another real update today! Trimester has compiled some pictures of UNM hooliganism as well as the accompanying sound (link at bottom of the page). Also, another addition to the Donkeybunch Art page - the crash victim's tattoo. Finally, Lane is the newest friend of the Donkeybunch because of his hooligan inclinations. That does it for website updates... in other news, Nutrition tells the world (on the DB Forum) that the Donkeybunch has premiered "Top Ten Things To Do When You're Bored" to a general audience - a veritable earth-shaking production. Alas, no pictures from this film yet, due to lack of digital DB movie access here in the land of nuclear aggression. The DVD plan is still very non-binding, but perhaps after the formerly pagan celebration of winter solstice it will be available to a select few. Who knows? Oh, that's right, xjesusx. Enjoy all the things. NOTE: It has been brought to Trimester's attention that the alt text (i.e., the text that comes up when the mouse is held over a picture) does not show up on Macintosh computers. Perhaps this is an epidemic, ravaging certain computers... if you cannot see the alt text, you should bring this to Trimester's attention at [email protected] or look at the html source code, because it is an important part of the Donkeybunch website. Go to sleep. And look at the past news archive.
10/3/02 - Today is just a happy day. The list of birthdays goes on and on! Notables include Trimester's sister (eckah), Log (who recently took out his loveable bridge piercing), and Car (the drug addict). Despite the connection between Trimester and these people, none of their pictures will appear today on the front page (but just click the names and BAM! except for Car, sorry.) Well, Trimester has finally received photographs of the aftermath of the famed Aaron's disastrous vehicular collision. You will probably notice from the picture of the smashed truck above, idiots. Also, Jurgen (with an umlaut) has submitted a biography, the first to do so in a long while! Well, touch my boules and call me an unpatriot! Patience while our thousand-employee team works on the new flash java php network server website. Thank you.
9/27/02 - (This appears on the Donkeybunch forum as well.) Hello and welcome to Trimester's corner. So some of you may notice (in a short time) some new pictures on the DB Friends 4 page. These are premium pics of Trimester's roommates and a hooligan child. I encourage any other submissions at any time... send them to [email protected]. In other news, a ninja video might be in the works for this weekend in Old Aztlan, er New Mexico. Also, math porn. The covert ninja idea is a joint decision between Trimester and two damn skateboard geefheads. Finally, I don't want to pressure anyone, but I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN if the DVD collection cannot be finished during December. This concludes Trimester's front page/forum update. Word?
9/21/02 - Aghh, meine augen? Damn, a week has elapsed. Don't despair though, there are various new points to consider. First, the antisports site finally underwent another "update" after two months of lethargy (maybe because Trimester wants to play some footy, or soccer for those who don't recognize the sovereignty of places outside the almighty fortress of consumerism known as the US... of course, the anti-establishment sports critique is still present). In other aspects of life, Nutrition reports that the DVD has been reinitiated by Dairy Queen, and it is hoped that by December or early January (?) we'll see its completion. And the Boogie Nights-based movie (?) is still in planning for the winter... and finally, Trimester would be glad to talk with anyone concerned with anything even remotely connected to the Donkeybunch, or of course himself (like, vanity!). Catch him on AIM as downwithgraffiti or MSN as, well Trimester, duh. Or of course email [email protected], ya bums.
9/14/02 - So Trimester has finally watched some DB movies in the Land of Latifundist Destiny? Yeah well it was great to relive "Fire In My Pants" and "I'm Gooder Than You"... but something was missing. Yes, I know, many of our movies were missing from my handy VHS tape. So as a message of encouragement, long live the DVD project and SNES is dumb because the classic movies are on tapes that some guy still has! If anyone has respect for human beings, maybe a tax deductible donation to the Donkeybunch will make you a better person - and encourage you to eat graham crackers, the mythical breakfast of the sexually repressed? Yes, look into it, and eat only mild foods. Trimester thinks everybody would like to know that his consumption of tea has increased muchly. "Te voy a cortar las bolas con mi hacha."
9/8/02 - LONG LIVE THE 17TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY OF KAMPUCHEA. These are the words, my friends, of our beloved (and loving) hero known to us simply as Pol Pot (his real name would jeopardize the Party and we would fail as a people because of the absence of Him, POL POT). So why is Trimester reminiscing about the good old days of Khmer Rouge and Glorious April 17th? Well, to make a short story longer than necessary, Trimester found a reprint of a Pol Pot speech at a parking lot sale and decided to renew his faith in our savior. As a tribute, this news update will be written in a style emulatory of all-high Pot's eloquence. "Many friendly people and countries are rejoicing at the successful achievements of our Kampuchean [Donkeybunch] people. They have expressed great sympathy and support for us." Now that shit's true, ain't it?! (By the way, Kampuchea is known to you yankees as Cambodia, the people's republic in which I take frequent holidays.) ... "None of the splendid results of our work in the past would have been possible without the monumental efforts exerted by our people of all generations, by our Revolutionary Army in all its successive stages, and by the men and women [huh?] combatants and cadres in all ministries and departments [Truth, Peace, etc.]. All of us have endeavored with the highest sense of revolutionary responsibility to carry out our revolutionary tasks well under the leadership of the Communist Party of Kampuchea [Trimester, I mean the Donkeybunch]. Only under its guidance could we have achieved such excellent results." The Party is eerily similar to the Donkeybunch - that's a sign of greatness and happiness! ... "LONG LIVE THE CORRECT AND CLEAR-SIGHTED DONKEYBUNCH! LONG LIVE THE EXTREMELY INVINCIBLE AND HEROIC DONKEYBUNCH ARMY!" Seriously, Pol Pot said this. "In conclusion [weak transition! no!]... May all of you enjoy good health, great strength, sharp vigilance and complete success in vigorously carrying out all the tasks entrusted to you by the Donkeybunch."
9/5/02 - Trimester sez: Nutrition and Dairy Queen have concocted a preliminary movie plan for winter break, when the Donkeybunch will be able to function as a whole again! An explanation of the movie wouldn't be appropriate from Trimester, and it's really not yet a concrete idea. So just read about it on the DB FORUM! (You can just click the link on the top of the page, losers.) And as a side note, Trimester attended a film showing tonight at a coffee housee, and the setup seemed perfect for Donkeybunch-type film fests! The event tonight was about Assata Shakur, a Black Panther in exile, but that doesn't mean we can't forge alliances or else just reach more people with our propaganda of laughter! Shut up, it wasn't corny at all.
9/2/02 - DONKEYBUNCH.COM IS APPROXIMATING TO THE 1000-VISITOR MARK! Yet again, no material updates to the site, other than the friend of the day - just mouse over the picture and you'll see a disheartening tale. Best of luck and recovery to sir Piruja, er Carity. I wonder if his nipples are still intact. A few pictures in the near future, and apart from unexpected catastrophes, not much else. But cheer up, the Donkeybunch DVD will/might/we hope be available around December, for mass wholesale. And of course, new material, whether from the Donkeybunch or some kind of affiliate radical extremist branch - either way, enjoyment for all. P.S. As a reminder to all of you that are too lazy to email the Donkeybunch's innovative internet directive ([email protected]), there's always the DB Forum... and Trimester is sure that many of you have something to say. And why not be famous by contributing material to the Donkeybunch website? At the very least it will earn you a free sexual encounter with yours truly. What more can you ask for?! Say no more say no more, except if you want to advocate Kegel exercises for various reasons. Also as a reminder, go the News section for past updates and important website information that you may have missed, due to your hectic lifestyle dedicated to the war effort (it's the only reason I can think of NOT to read the Donkeybunch updates). Bombs make people more civilized.
8/29/02 - Not nothin' important and new, Trimester just says hello and misses the Donkeybunch camaraderie as well as everyone else. Perhaps the DB Forum will gain more popularity for its superiority in communication and tidbits of news that are not posted on the Donkeybunch site. So go there and tell the people they are free!
8/26/02 - Trimester has updated his picture site, complete with mountains, billboards, and more holes in the flesh. If you lose the address, it's listed on the links section of this webpage. The pictures on that site will not be on the DB Movie section, because they aren't part of any real movie. But you can expect some pictures from great movies in the future, whether they be from Trimester in the south or Dairy Queen and Nutrition in MCAD, or of course the whole Donkeybunch in the north. Oh yes, and Mittens has requested that Trimester change some things on his biography, So, here are the changes. Vespertinal greetings, or some shit!
8/25/02 - After riding on two wheels for 34 kilometers, Trimester thought it would be a good time to share his experience and update the website and introduce a new one! First, he is burnt as can be in the face and forearms, due to unwillingness to use sunscreen and his desire to develop skin cancer. During the ride, Trimester combined his typical suburban ride with a view of the Sandia mountain range... awesome, except for the constant automotive distraction and pollution. Anyway, he taped some stuff and will put some pictures on the DB Movie page as well as the new gossip center, http://www.geocities.com/trimesterspubes ! The name tells you that some explicit pornography will also find its way onto the site (his pubes). Surprisingly, the DB Forum is not totally stagnant; recent topics include screen names and a drug poll! Yeah! Big gulps, huh? All right... welp, see ya later.
8/23/02 - Hmm, now that Trimester's news update was deleted because of a faulty stupid keyboard, he will attempt it anew. The Donkeybunch site is now a PORN site! Actually, it's just for you voyeurs out there, and of course Trimester's megalomaniacal self... if a pubic piercing is something you want to see, and you don't want to see much more than the piercing, then be there or be elsewhere. (Hey, Trimester thought of a great scheme... in order to have people email the Donkeybunch, he will offer hardcore nudity! Just email [email protected] for some sadistic photographs of Trimester!) Other than that, no DB-related news from outside sources or anywhere... maybe the Donkeybunch will reunite in November or December with the hopes of finishing the DVD or making merry. I'm sure we could have found some innovative filming techniques at the latest police shooting in Minneapolis! Ugh. Uuuuuummmmmm, that's what I remember before this stupid ass butt keyboard was really dumb. What's with you and failure? SO yeah, later all y'all it's a sabotage.
8/20/02 - As promised, Trimester has brought another small update! You can see flaming poop, obnoxious outlandish divers, and a religious experience, as well as Tiffany's near-arrest on this page and a new friend on the DB Friends site! I hope everyone enjoys the things, and Trimester wishes all Minnesota dwellers some fun before their indoctrination courses begin. Trimester feels inclined already to travel the world/country/? with Jurgen and other interested parties... but it can maybe possibly wait until winter or even next summer. With that I part, and email the Donkeybunch, damn you!
8/18/02 - Trimester's back after a week of "no news." Actually, he's in another time zone, enjoying getting his pipes cleaned by authentic New Mexican cuisine, such as meat and prescription drugs. So now begins another period of infrequent (but still quality!) Donkeybunch page updates, for anyone and everyone who wants to know all the gossip. This "downtime" is due to Trimester's new situation and such. But if people seem interested, the site can still seem like a normally functioning one! So please, if you have anything to announce to the world (the site gets ten thousand hits daily), just EMAIL - [email protected]. I know Trimester has said this many times, but it gives everyone a better outlook on life, especially Trimester himself. Okay, after all that Mickey Mouse bullshit, here's the latest DB-related news: It seems as if Tim (code name?) and Nutrition and other pecks have tapped into the hidden energy of lighting bags of crap on people's doorstep and running away. Pictures have been sent to Trimester and will be posted in a reasonable(?) time period, after he gets the internet on a computer in his own domicile. This new happening gives joy to all that hear it. Best regards and suspicion!
8/11/02 - Finally, production has begun on the Donkeybunch DVD! However, the program Dairy Queen is using seems sort of time-consuming. So, no idea as to when it will premiere. But keep on your seat edge, players. Don't be prepared, because you won't be surprised as much. Trimester will leave the Donkeybunch's normal residence area on August 15th, so cry for him. Wah. Bye!
8/8/02 - So it seems that the Donkeybunch will finally begin editing for the DVD in two days. Spectacular, huh? Yes, it is good news to those who have ears to hear it. Trimester hopes that it will not be interrupted, as he will be waiting for it overseas in the one place. Apart from the heartwarming story just mentioned, nothing Donkeybunch-related has really happened lately. Shit son, you've been cheatin'! Well... probably another update on Saturday. Piecemeal.
8/2/02 - Probably the last Hooligans video (with Trimester) was made last night! (Tiffany, J�rgen, and Trimester at the Great Mall of Fashion ohmygod.) This saddens yet excites Trimester. But sentiment aside, it has some of the best shit we've ever done - in the elevator and inside stores, and quite entertaining things involving a nice man named Kenny. Can't stop laughing. So, this has been an informative news brief full of useful information. Really.
7/31/02 - Trimester invites you to delight in the vespertinal pleasures of pre-Augustan days, with all their promises of new promised pleasure things... except the Donkeybunch DVD, that is. Yep, Dairy Queen seems a little flaky lately and so the greatly awaited collection will probably not be released for some time. But shit yo, ya gotta give props to Trimester - he be knowing how to do things at a proper time! No offense to Dairy Queen, though. Anywhey, see ya later and don't eat at fast "food" restaurants. P.S. Nutrition's biography is now up on the Biographies page! It did not let down Trimester, and it was proud and good, and is funny in the vein of the others. Now it's up to Blanket (and of course anybody else) to complete the squarewards circle. See ya earlier.
7/28/02 - Ah, the Internet. Kill it! Oh wait, but before that, all shall see the wonder and awe that is the bio of Mittens!!! Believe Trimester, it is a rollicking three-thumbs-up rollercoaster of excitement. But seriously, it's good, and long enough for those of you who can't get enough real life information. But seriously, diarrhea. Let's all thank Mittens for his addition to the Donkeybunch legacy and extend our hopes that Trimester will be able to proliferate the Donkeybunch collection on digital video disc by mid-August. But seriously, the Donkeybunch should get together and help edit that shit for a grand Donkeybunch professional exhibition. The issue of a mass showing is still in the mind of Trimester, but hey, how 'bout a cuppa joe?! Bwah!
7/25/02 - A productive day, indeed. Trimester has posted new Hooligan pictures and
7/23/02 - Rockin'! Ookers! Dude, you'll never believe what happened last night - the Donkeybunch minus Blanket produced a 15-20 minute movie! Aside from the length (an epic indeed), no titles or special cuts were inserted in Dairy Queen's camera because this movie will be edited on a computer! We hope for a good result; even if it's not professional editing, it's still an awesome movie. Its title is "Top Ten Things To Do When You're Bored" - and when Trimester said it broke from the recent movies, he was not fabricating a fib. In fact, the shots and camera angles and softcore content will revolutionize the ultra-independent movie world! All right, now Trimester will tell you the top ten things to do when you're bored (the exact wording is not final, but you get the general idea); if you want more information about what to do when you're bored you'll have to see the movie sometime (maybe when it's on DVD!): 10. Start a business / 9. Be a todd / 8. Concoct drugs / 7. Build a spice rack / 6. Make a movie / 5. Stare at a picture until you think you're in it / 4. Ride a tandem bike (the way God intended) / 3. Get to know Griffin... better / 2. Try to get a boner with basketball shorts (watching Tony Danza) / 1. Kill Pat. So there you have it. Await news on the editing (wow, a DB movie that has two stages to it!).
7/21/02 - A spectre is haunting the Donkeybunch... oh wait, old stuff. Trimester is pleased to announce that the production on the next movie will begin and end tomorrow. We'll kick it off with some Bible reading and beer and brats! Actually, it will start earlier than other movies in order to reach its potential. That is all Trimester can disclose legally at this moment, although if you want some hush-hush wink-wink say no more gossip: the word on the street is that the next movie will be a break from the recent string of movies, which will be a good thing in the eyes of many people. Follow the Donkeybunch and you will never go hungry again! P.S. Trimester wrote his new biography, so that leaves Mittens, Nutrition, Blanket, and SNES for new ones. And, of course, anybody who wants to be popular; in that case, email the Donkeybunch: [email protected]. Despite countless advertisements, ONE OR TWO PEOPLE have emailed the Donkeybunch with a Donkeybunch-related message. Agh. Meine augen.
7/17/02 - Damn, yogurt all over the muffin! Oh, me? Hi, Trimester would like to announce that Hoof Hearted seems interested in the Donkeybunch and we (everyone, not just the Donkeybunch) should return the favor by posting on their message board on the Hoof Hearted website - they have patronized the Donkeybunch forum, so why not? (Their website is now on the Links section as well.) Also, last night Trimester taped some Roman candles in the streets and firecrackers in the sewers around Flip's house, I mean not. The group included all the Hooligans, and Trimester their lackey. Huh? Well, what else... Nothing much until another movie is made, probably. P.S. Mittens' yearly annual turn-of-year celebration seemed to go well, although Trimester did not attend the festivities. It is rumored among the tribes that Mittens stole a helicopter and something about winning money in a game of chance, otherwise known as almightymoneycasinogimmemoney. Huh?
7/16/02 - Trimester's project of recording all the Donkeybunch movies (and more) on a VHS tape has been postponed because the tapes that SNES gave me seem to lack some movies. Bwoooppp. But Dairy Queen's tape with "We Built This City" and "Our Sweet Baby" is definitely good. Welp, until SNES gets back and people want to finish the last movie idea, um, goobdye.
7/12/02 - As stated, the new movie (which is already loosely planned) should see the light of good things, I mean, it should be produced, in about a week or so, after SNES gets back from the magical land of York and Hell. But in other things... J�rgen finally has returned from Deutschland! Now he is a goat herder and he churns butter while going to Oktoberfest and dancing that one dance. But Hooligans videos and other Donkeybunch movies will follow. I'm really surprised you didn't know that. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, MITTENS!!! Come drinking with us as we celebrate MITTENS' BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!! Also, an unexpected visit from another group has incited Trimester to put a picture of them on the site. They call themselves Hoof Hearted, I think, and you can see some of the comments on the Forum... it seems like two people are posting, but according to the cowboy picture I was sent by Mukesh Vatish (uh oh, name leak), there are six... oddly similar to the Donkeybunch. Also, they claim our Gayry character (sort of, from Lord of the Tea) is stolen from their English Gayry. Beat that, Reuters.
7/8/02 - Well, the 4th of July plan failed and then we were going to make one last night, but that fell through as well. However, good things can happen... just look at me! Oh, I mean, our new idea for a movie will be pretty much ready to go when we get together again (which won't be for at least a week and a half, fuck) and Trimester is starting to put together a "master" tape to burn onto a DVD Donkeybunch Special Edition Pack with commentary and stuff! So, that's about it, except that Dairy Queen has turned in a new biography! and Trimester expects others to follow suit, even outside of our elite vanguardist group! Even the Chancellor and Supreme Ruler himself, Trimester, will change his authoritarian ways. That's right; should I speak in a Spanish accent? Uh, goodbye and shit. P.S. Max left today, fucking gaucho, and J�rgen is coming back in three days. Damn it and yes!
7/2/02 - A spectre is haunting the Donkeybunch... the spectre of FUCKING SOCIALISM! I mean, the spectre of a new movie, that is! Trimester has learned from reliable sources that, perhaps, possibly, maybe a new movie will take place on the 4th of July, the day when we commemorate our heroic forefathers with patriotic pyrotechnics... made in China. Hmm. So, how does that sound? July 4th, Thursday? Huh?! Huh! Come on, you wiggity wack persons! Let's get something going. Trimester will confirm the thing and the stuff as long as the sun explosion doesn't reach the venerated Donkeybunch. By the way, SNES will sing naked on the 6th. Trimester will be there taping it all, with a rashy head and dancing in the name of a close-minded ideal.
6/29/02 - J�rgen has sent Trimester some good pictures, which have been uploaded onto the Friends section and the S.P.O.R.T.S. page! Hooray and stuff, and thing and butts. An upcoming movie may be planned tonight while some of the Donkeybunch sees Office Space at the Uptown theater... who knows, it might win one of those indy film fests! Then we'd be unstoppable, son. Attn: everybody - If you like publicity, tell the Donkeybunch about some of your exploits. Or send in a biography. Or just publish some of your writings on a major literary website (this one, of course). It's easy: just EMAIL THE DONKEYBUNCH at [email protected]. Thank you.
6/28/02 - Yet another gap of no updates. Trimester has returned from Manifest Destiny land and comes to you spiritually direct - praise the lord! Nah, I mean, don't ever leave a small knife and a tool in your frequently-used backpack if you go to the airport... it seems people don't want you to defend yourself. (Yes, that's right, Trimester's backpack was searched and his body was violated three times in total.) He even had to open his belt buckle three times for depraved airport security - but one of them was a hardcore kid, he thinks - not much of a hardcore scene in New Mexico. Okay, well, Nutrition seems to be the last person (the only one for a while) to post on the Forum, and we seem to be in agreement on making another movie soon and coming up with some sort of movie fest and/or collection, i.e., DVD. Caveat lector: Trimester hopes that people are not forsaking the Donkeybunch so early in its life - I mean, it's going to still be around after the summer, duh - so stay tuned at least for another month and a half and then periodically for nostalgia and upcoming events. PLEASE EMAIL the Donkeybunch address at [email protected] so Trimester can disseminate information, etc. among the whole community, which can mean anyone. Bimester appoints himself as chancellor of the new DBHC scene. Unite! Or else...
6/22/02 - Trimester feels weird typing this after a week of TOTAL inactivity on the DB site. Yet, it is full of promise, because the Mexico half of the Donkeybunch might facilitate the lacking initiations for Mittens and Dairy Queen. Apart from that, not much new DB-related things (obviously). Except, this one thing, like, that happened, and like, was weird, and um. Trimester went to the Lost Film Fest, which is a collection of various independent/political/funny short films/documentaries, at Arise! bookstore on the night of 6/20/02 and realized that the Donkeybunch should do something like that... not only send in movies for events like that, but have one for ourselves and the rest of the Donkified world, as an end-of-Donkeybunch-but-not-necessarily celebration. What do others think? We probably have talked about this already, also about a DVD with all the movies. Whatever we do, it has been a drugs experience. P.S. TODD and Paul P. the sports preacher (and I believe Chris the piece of shit) have their open houses tomorrow - let's show 'em DB hospitality... in the hospital! Oh! Um, NYC Pride. Outta the way, horse pokers!
6/15/02 - Don't worry, Trimester has not forgotten about the multitude of his beloved site-goers. This is just to inform the masses of an update on the S.P.O.R.T.S. page which only has to do with "Mortal Virtua Dragon 4.35 Special!" so it's useless... but the first "update" in two months! Our thoughts are with J�rgen and the Squirrel. Hey!
6/14/02 - Welp, let's see: With J�rgen gone to Germany for a month and SNES, Mittens and Dairy Queen in Mexico for a week, we might not see much action, if you understand my loquacity. For the newcomer, there are new pics posted from "Mortal Virtua Dragon 4.35 Special!" for the enjoyment and entertainment of the collective masses. Garrote yourselves.
6/12/02 - Mortal Virtua Dragon 4.35 Special! What's that, you ask? Well, it's the newest production from the Donkeybunch! It's filled with laughs and contortions from your favorite well-paid actors - Cen and Pryce played by SNES and Mittens; Daile and Berry played by Dairy Queen and Nutrition; and Phlynn and Benjamin played by J�rgen and Trimester. J�rgen and Trimester have extracted some pictures for y/our online enjoyment, although the still pics are not professional extreme mega quality. Still, yo, peep these. Of course, Trimester still encourages you to use the DB "Site Map" for easier navigation. Or rather, in the words of En Vogue: Free your mind, and the rest will follow. Tough. Metal. Iron Maiden.
6/9/02 - If you would kindly refer to the DB Forum, you might see two things: first, that a movie MUST be made soon (probably tomorrow), before Dairy Queen/Mittens/SNES be todds and go to Sombrero-and-bean-land. Second, Trimester and his donkey-killing cousin Mike will be "celebrating" their "high" school graduation in an "open house" at the place where Trimester lives. Unfortunately, Trimester cannot attend Log's "open house" on account of this (unwanted) event. It just goes to show you that donkeys left alone with sports-playing-donkey-killing cousins find themselves in danger. FIN. P.S. Look at the new pictures as well. Finissimus.
6/6/02 - Huh! Trimester thought there would be an upsurge in activity after the initiation of Dairy Queen and Mittens; but he supposes not. Those pictures he told you about are posted here (just use the "Site Map" button, probably). Ooga, etc. I guess this is goodbye. Yep, it is. Goodbye.
6/3/02 - Finally, some recent pictures have been captured from Trimester's video camera... but, alas, the disk drive on the computer does not function correctly as of now; so, patience and beatdowns. Yesterday, as all todds know, was the "graduation" for "seniors" at the "Target Center" (school... sports arena... coincidence? I think not). Welp, that was probably the most, like, emotional time of, like, my life, or something. Welp, see ya later. P.S. Mittens' picture is now off the Donkeybunch Friends section and on the front page! Peace be with you (and also with me).
6/1/02 - 9:00 PM - Trimester is just doing this to get it over with... just kidding. Guess what? The newest members of the Donkeybunch were dubbed and partially initiated about 45 minutes ago! Their names are Mittens (formerly Jordan C.) and Dairy Queen (formerly Indigo and ex-Indigo). YES!!!! The ceremony was not taped, as it is a secret affair (or something), so Trimester does not have recent pictures of the newlyweds, but he did post older pictures (the one you see of Dairy Queen is similar to what will happen when they get fully initiated). This has been quite a productive day, except the assholes at SNES/Dairy Queen/Mittens' open house impeded Trimester's planned return by three or four hours... P.S. Also, it will be announced to the world that, as if it were a separate initiation, Trimester biked almost the whole way home from Dairy Queen's domicile with a bloody nose (metal!). The only way to curb its effects was to use his undershirt (someone honked at my, I mean his, hot body). So there, dudes. This has been a long news update - probably because it was actually NEWS this time! Don't try to rush Trimester about things; he is still taking biograpies, etc., especially from the hatchlings. In fine, fare thee well.
6/1/02 - Too bad nobody died last night at the Nehemiah show. Props to The Lab for having something to jump off of. Yeah... well, Nutrition/SNES/Blanket/ex-Indigo/Jordan have open houses today. I suggest everyone go and firebomb the places. Or at least blast EATING IS FUN, EATING IS SERIOUS at full volume. Trimester has not taken pictures out of his video camera recently, so he might do that soon with pics from various things, including metal moshing. The special day is still not set in place; we must overcome the dark side and plan it out. That's what makes eating FUN!!!
5/27/02 - Well, the assholes that attend the 12th grade of the public education center have three more days left of enriching and totally helpful education. Trimester will be sad to leave the compulsory compound of death and glad to leave friends, because he (as well as other inmates) can only imagine happiness in the form of institutionalized "learning." What, did somebody say rant? Oh, not me. But, so, anyway, I don't know when the next festival will be. Oh yeah, the terrorist attack at the undisclosed location at the graduation ceremony! The Israeli government has claimed responsibility.
5/26/02 - No initiation or movie occurred this weekend, sadly (at least for Trimester). But Nutrition, Trimester, and Jordan-the-future-initiate stared at a movie screen for 2.5 hours as Star Wars was displayed. If anybody reads this, they can talk about things on the forum. Goodbye.
5/22/02 - The Donkeybunch, which supposedly only has four members right now, hopes to initiate former Indigo and SNES' cousin, that is, Jordan, on Saturday (5/25/02). In other news, the school spirit yearbook contains a picture of Trimester as a senior AND as a sophomore. Ha, I bet Log is jealous! So farewell players. Tight.
5/19/02 - Well, it is apparent that Indigo has resigned from the Donkeybunch for a baseless reason, which is that of his name. So I suppose Trimester will take his pictures and biography from the page in tribute of a noble death (or something). Too bad he had to die. Bimester might have some Valleyfair/KrispyKremeKonspiracy/big fire pictures soon, but patience is the virtue of pornographers. What more to say I know not. Huey.
5/16/02 - I repeat: go to www.donkeybunch.com from May 17 to 18. Wow, this day was an unusual day for donkeys. We saw the new STAR WARS EPISODE II TRADEMARK movie at three hours post midnight (before the movie Andy Z. talked to WCCO WHITE CHRISTIAN COALITION OLIGARCHY RADIO on some jerk's cell phone), then went to school awhile, then left to VALLEYFAIR ATTRACTION PARK ride store. Trimester and the others enjoyed starwarsepisodetwo and all are probably tired right now (3:30 PM). At VALLEYFAIR RIDE BUY PAY Trimester took a little video, with a smidgen of 'keen' things. As you can see, it is the birth-day of Nutrition and Scrote! I wish a plague upon you!
5/14/02 - Trimester has succeeded in hurling intolerant slurs at followers of three different religions today: two Muslims, a Jew, and a Greek orthodox christian. The punchline: religion! Uh, so yahweh, what's up? Trimester hasn't been around "the lockers" much this week, and he doesn't know of any Donkeybunch news... So, he will just give greetings to the bus crew of today, i.e., Car, Jarred, Danielle, Tom, and every last religious extremist. Roll out to a greek orthodox church! It ain't my fault that Temple Israel practices reform judaism! Petey Pablo is a muslim! Nnahm.
5/12/02 - Star Wars fanaticism will reach unprecedented heights in four days, when the dark side lures many ninjas, I mean Jedis, to the motion picture showing house at three in the morning, probably earlier. No Donkeybunch or Hooligan video this weekend, but today is Mother's Day - congratulations Blanket, you're a mother! Um, no more "news" today. Man, that's cold.
5/7/02 - It seems "The Fast and the Bi-Curious" has already gained some popularity, and, at least according to Blanket, it may be one of our best. Well, Trimester feels like an aborted fetus after biking in more than half an hour of drenching rain; it's even worse now that he took a shower. FUCK SHIT ASS COCK EXPLETIVE. Woe is me. Also, woe is anyone who doesn't see "The Fast and the Bi-Curious"!!! Yeah! P.S. Tom the Vigilante has informed us of his new website under construction. You can go to it here. Trimester was the second visitor - help the counter go up!
5/5/02 - YES!!! Last night's Donkeybunch production will have you jump for joy throughout its eight-minute run! "The Fast and the Bi-Curious" shed some light on the battle between bike racers, corporation power walkers, and '80s music (as well as sports). Don't even think that Trimester will fail to put pictures up soon (right here! See postscript). By the way, all of the actual production was outside; also, it was the first Donkeybunch-only movie (weird). Yesterday was an important date - Trimester's birthday, Marijuana Liberation Day, the 32nd anniversary of the Kent State shootings, and of course the Donkeybunch movie. We'll see how the other bi-cyclists like the movie - let the rumors fly! P.S. After Trimester uploaded the pictures, he didn't want to change the links on the other twenty-some pages just to get them synchronized. Thus: the link to the new pics will not be on every movie pics page, so just use the handy Site map button above. Thank you.
5/2/02 - A movie will probably descend upon us like a plague on Saturday, Trimester's birthday... free animal sacrifices for all! Also, Indigo and Gus have forced me beyond resistance to scan and post two pictures of a gangly one that is not Indigo. They can be found here. Please, think of movie ideas and keep on drinking varnish.
5/1/02 - Today is Mayday. Indigo recently set up an account for an online store for the Donkeybunch! It is unclear what will happen with this, but possible things are shirts and DVD Donkeybunch movies. Well, it seems like this weekend is pretty promising for a new movie... that is very good. Don't support the Gay Awareness Week, it only focuses more bigoted attention on something that isn't so abnormal. Besides, why is it Gay "Awareness"? Does that mean some people don't know what homo- or bisexuality is? Yeah, anyway, don't support a group pretending to be the messiah for tolerance. Believe in yourself. Violence in.
4/28/02 - Greetings, good sirs. J�rgen and Trimester have produced various flyers preaching the destruction of Krispy Kreme (and SUVs while they're at it). A select copy will be posted on the Art section within a year (actually, it's right here). The flyers started out as a shirt idea, but that will must needs wait upon thine hour of fleeting expectorant. Any other news? No, because the Donkeybunch (save J�rgen and Trimester, yet again) has not organized for a simple fun and illuminating movie session. Marry, ye shall heare of mine words in a more temperate season, methinks. [As of now Trimester cannot update www.donkeybunch.com due to the non-showing-up of freewebz.com. Go fig yourselves.]
4/25/02 - Why are Trimester and J�rgen the only ones who want to make another movie? If others want to, it's not very apparent... so come on, drink to your health, take drugs until the next 4/20 and make a movie! On a side note, the united states government armed terrorist forces I mean the army called Trimester today and this guy tried his propaganda but it didn't work. He asked Trimester if Trimester played any spring sports, to which Trimester replied, "No." I leave you with a British viewpoint on the subject. "Do you want to make tea at the BBC, do you want to be, do you really want to be a cop? ... I hate the army and I hate the RAF / I don't want to go fighting in the tropical heat ... career opportunities, the ones that never knock" - The Clash.
4/23/02 - Nothing new as relates to the Donkeybunch, really... maybe Trimester and others should look for a frilly shirt like David Bowie wore in Labryinth... then we would be able to have a rudimentary movie with Tony's Labryinth idea; of course we should make a movie shortly, as in this weekend, whatever the "plot" may be. Well, don't stop coming to the Donkeybunch site altogether, show your support and thing!
4/20/02 - Dude, you know what day it is, right? So, yesterday Trimester posed as a Portuguese exchange student in J�rgen's house... some of his friends came over, and they actually believed that Trimester was from Portugal. It was quite funny. Perhaps some pictures and/or sounds will be up soon. Hahaha, eu falo portugues ferret! (Still waiting for any kind of biography from anyone)
4/18/02 - Hey dudes, wanna play some frisbee? Well, like I said, probably no DB movie this weekend, but probably some kind of other video, with large-scale property damage and drug-smoking. Well, see my last farewell statement to Simon on the bottom of my forum post about hotornot pictures. I still haven't received biographies from any Donkeybunch people, nor from anyone else... I'm open and willing, you know. Goodbye.
4/17/02 - Welp, a Donkeybunch movie will probably not happen this weekend on account of a school proceeding... but a Drive-Thru/Hooligans video is possible. P.S. Simon the Ferret will be leaving us tomorrow. Trimester will miss the squirrel and his crazy antics, and J�rgen will have no more Germans to play with. Ah, cursed fate.
4/14/02 - (Ahem) Nevermind.
4/13/02 - Nothing is really new, except for Indigo's Labryinth movie idea... well, maybe a movie or something for today, let's go. Stop doing other things and make a movie or six.
4/10/02 - Drive-Thru 3 sounds are up, proving that school can serve a purpose sometimes (ha!). Hey, how 'bout a cuppa joe, hah?! Yeah, so you can find them here. Other than that, the "Bread" pictures have recently been posted. You can also talk about stuff on the forum, you know.
4/8/02 - Nutrition heard the Hooligans last night as they invaded Rainbow, and their noises were funny. Afterwards, Flip and J�rgen and Trimester went to some drive-thrus - probably some of the best (in Trimester's opinion). On top of pictures from "Bread", wait for some pics and sounds from Drive-Thru Hooligans 3! P.S. I like sports so much that I start fires because a hockey team won (i.e., Gophers). [8:45 PM - Ooga, I finally finished putting up the "Bread" and Drive-Thru 3 pictures! Now it's just waiting for Drive-Thru 3 sounds - until then, "Whoa, is this the Love Parade?"]
4/7/02 - Finally, another Donkeybunch movie! Last night, the artistic masterpiece, "Bread", was produced. The stars were Nutrition as Aladdin, Indigo as Lucky Pierre, J�rgen as Guiche Pierce, SNES as Buff Troy, and Trimester as Hot Karl. The movie lasted an epic four minutes and was full of "symbology" and artistic meaning (no words were spoken except "the clouds" at the end). Wait for the pics soon; they will be great. Smell ya later forever.
4/6/02 - A second thrift shop bike was beaten yesterday. Present were Tiffany, Flip, J�rgen, Simon the squirrel, and Trimester. For some reason we did most of it right outside of Chuckwagon's living quarters, even though he was not present. Then we dragged it behind the car and it made sparks, then it was lost in a neighborhood (possibly because it hit a parked car, I don't know). Afterwards, Tiffany and Flip and Trimester did a couple drive-thrus, but they were not great at all. Trimester also got a seven finger discount on a belt from Target.
4/4/02 - I still don't know about a movie this weekend... it might just be a Hooligans video weekend, which is good for me, but we need to make another Donkeybunch movie. Otherwise, smoke those drugs!
4/2/02 - Well, after the Drive-Thru 2 pictures and sounds, there's only one thing to do: produce more Donkeybunch productions and make more Hooligan videos! That will be a good goal for the week, methinks... I know the Hooligan video can "go down like buttah", but I don't know about the Donkeybunch movie... of course, it was my fault that we didn't make one during Spring Break - I didn't play Oligopoly! In other news, the S.P.O.R.T.S. website needs updating. And so on and so forth, etc. etc. Dispense with the pleasantries, sir, and bid thee make haste (in doing something). For I am the one true god. Oh, what? I mean, goodbye, yellow-bellied cotton pickers.
3/31/02 - Yesterday Trimester saw Tiffany fight in his first kickboxing exhibition, and various people were killed. Oh wait, I meant knocked up. Oh wait... anyway, you will see the new pics from Tiffany's fight as well as the second Drive-Thru Hooligans video shortly (right HERE!!!). The fight was "ANARCHY" IN ANOKA (actual event name)! But seriously (as if I wasn't serious), it was phat... the Barbarian (founder of Rumble-Boy Kickboxing Club) had a healthy mullet, complete with a fanny pack. Yeah dude! P.S. New sounds up.
3/30/02 - Is this predictable yet? Go on, guess. That's right, no movie last night. Sorry for the false hope I gave you, again. The struggle to gather the Donkeybunch started early and ended late, but to no avail. Keep it in your hearts and it will come true. Until then, wait for pictures and sounds from the Drive Thru Hooligans 2 (not as many drive thrus, though). Fare thee well. Look at this Minnesota donkey website I came across!
3/29/02 - Ah, the best kind of day: movie day! Trimester has a feeling it will be great, even though there is a certain discrimination against J�rgen (come on, we're not dead babies any more). Well, the movie should have humor and thing packed into a more convenient time frame than Destructamesh (which was about a year ago)... If you visit this site today between 6:00-10:00 (?), remember us in your hearts, if you have one. Also, they say donkeybunch.com is live, so that's good.
3/28/02 - COME ON, nobody has emailed us at [email protected]!!! You must have SOMETHING to say! Or at least sign up for S.P.O.R.T.S.! Welp, goodbye until tomorrow... the great movie day.
3/27/02 - Last night we made a second Drive Thru Hooligans video. It was pretty good, but not close to the first one. This time Simon the Squirrel joined us, but he did not want to be a hooligan. Anyway, pictures and sounds should be up within days or months. Also, how about that donkeybunch.com? Yeah, well. FRIDAY WILL BE THE SHITTY SHIT FUCKERS!!!
3/25/02 - WWW.DONKEYBUNCH.COM officially works! Really! It's a little slow, but I'll work it out or something, like.... The next Donkeybunch movie SHOULD and MUST take place on Friday, 29 March 2002. Perhaps it will be a huge blowout with our greatest movie ever! Or it might be just a fun movie-making time (alas, Hakeem Olaujuwon will not join us). Still, look forward to it, son! Gross. The Hooligans should be making a video today as well. We're all looking forward to both manifestations of both kinds of humor ("we" includes at least Trimester and J�rgen). Well, I hope the new Donkeybunch.com works in short time. And to the XXXtreme Sports players (j/k lol brb shaniqua) going to Madison tonight: careful! in more ways than one! Make sure to kill any little kids on skateboards! Get some good video in the ghettos of Wisconsin! Um, bye.
3/23/02 - The DB Friends page has been slightly revamped, with a couple of new pictures (hint: drugs!) and fewer pictures per page... Welp, I lied about www.donkeybunch.com, it doesn't work yet. What is wrong with these people that say they will host my website but aren't doing so?!?! Mirth and cautelous swaddling clouts, the kindless knave of a strumpet. Or something, since Trimester is reading Hamlet, by Billy Shake-that-speare, who is almost as goodly as Petey Pablo. Anyway, word, wait for the biographies and a new movie this spring break (as well as a Hooligans video).
3/22/02 - It finally works! www.donkeybunch.com is the most complete site on the Internet! Yeah, well go there, because you'll come back here - you see the logic, right? (Oh wait, nevermind, it worked at the public education center but it doesn't work now.)Well, Trimester is also taking biography requests, so if you're motivated, do it. What? Do it, if you have the intestines to do it. Ahem, see Indigo's barf pic on hotornot.com (rejected by the management). Also, Trimester is doing better than with the Got Tea shirt. Super Nintendo got an impressive 9.6, and Choadus is at a dismal 4.3. Is that enough gossip-like information? Good, then do something.
3/21/02 - I changed the site map a little bit and included the Art Page which I had forgotten until Nutrition gave me a good warning on the Forum. Welp, the damn www.donkeybunch.com still doesn't work... I'm going to ask one more time for help and if Freeweb$ doesn't make it work they had better prepare for the oligarchical terrorism of the Donkeybunch. Also, Trimester supposes that the new biographies are under construction by the respective members... if a "non-member" would like a biography which would be linked on the DB Friends page, that "person" (whether female or hermaphrodite) should email it to [email protected] or, if that doesn't suit the "person", TRIMESTER. Also, I will reveal my AIM screen name: tempoop69... if you ever want to, you know, talk about, you know, rockets and other prodigious things. Until then, paramilitary forces rule!
3/19/02 - 8:07 PM - We have broken the 3000 mark! The time is now approaching to unveil the Donkeybunch.com commercial money-making site; however, it still doesn't work... But patience, brah, patience. Indigo for sure has started to make his new biography... so, those will be soon. Roll out! Who's your weedman? Do you have a davenport?
3/19/02 (12 more to 3000) - If someone tells me what to put on the new biography pages, I will try to do it, but I don't know what to change when Indigo tells me that it should be "cool" and/or "better". Nonetheless, I agree that we need new biographies, and maybe a very short one for some Friends of the DB. Goodbye, Davis. (Fuck you, ya fuckin' fuck!) By the way, www.donkeybunch.com will just have a link to this Geocities one until Trimester uploads files and "synchronizes" the Freewebz one with this one. (For some reason, on the Freewebz site, I can't link to pictures on another site, yet I can on this one... ?)
3/18/02 (only 20 or so more visitors for the 3000 mark) - Trimester took off the entrance sound, apparently just for Indigo because his browser doesn't support it or something... whatever! Just visit the SOUNDS page to enjoy yourself. Also: don't be surprised if you feel compelled to play some sports in the next few days... but then during Spring Break it won't matter because we'll make a great and good movie (and my brother is coming back from sports school - just kidding, Encyclopedia of Sports [pronounced with a high-pitched and annoying voice, like a raptor])!!! Uhm, sir? TTFN, tut tut, it looks like imperialism.
3/17/02 [St. Trimester's religious extremism Day] - If any of you remember, the Donkeybunch site was started in March last year, a couple of weeks before the Epic of Destructamesh. So, Spring Break will be a perfect time for a one-year anniversary (for the site AND Destructamesh) and a good-old movie. And on top of that, the site only needs fifty-some more visitors to break the 3000 (million) mark. That's something to brag about when I'm living on the streets due to my refusal to play sports... Well anyway, I hope you reflect on this, sirs/madams/best of both worlds. Goodbye.
3/16/02 - No movie, except for a little bike smashing by Trimester and J�rgen... it ain't my fault (did I do that?) and I don't want any more empty weekends. Tomorrow should be a prospective movie day. You should also listen to the new sports news bulletin on the S.P.O.R.T.S. page. I'm still waiting for Indigo's puking pictures. Happy fists.
3/15/02 - No school today, for those of you at school waiting for your teacher to show up. Yeah, school! Well, here's a reason to hate popular mass media: they're too busy playing commercials and making money to even show the school closings. Thus, I started to leave for school and I got stuck in the driveway; a neighbor told me that school was closed, so I said "fuck you, ya fuckin' fuck!" and it took about half an hour in all to travel 20 meters. I know I'm an idiot, but it's not my fault - I was late, and I didn't see anything on the fucking TV (the tool for mass manipulation I mean media)! Whatever. Today, we might make a sort of Hooligans video, although it might not be hooliganry (more like life-threatening sliding behind a car). Pax.
3/12/02 - I am in school, the shrine to education (as you can see by my updating the site during school). Shortly I will put up some sounds from the Drive-Thru Hooligans and the garage band. Then I will renovate the biographies once I know what people want on them. Then I will probably make an exhaustive "inward" links page, with all the movie pics and sounds, etc. (sort of like a site map) We dropped bones on 'em!
3/11/02 - 9:11 PM - I have finished putting the Drive-Thru Hooligans pictures on the Movies Pages, along with two from Garage Band. Shortly I suppose I will have pics of Indigo puking from too much lactose or something. Goodbye.
3/11/02 - Okay, I have various things to say. First, I plan to have some pics from the latest Hooligans video up soon, as well as funny and extensive sounds. Fifthly, I will get some pics of Indiglo puking out his guts and intestinal lining when he gives me the tape and camera. Finally, I don't know how to transfer this site to www.donkeybunch.com, so it will be a while, I guess. But when it finally works out, it'll be great, won't it, guys? Yeah, it will be prodigiously tubularness word mouthy! Hmm. Trimester will also touch up the front page or something. Nothing actually new on the website, though (yet)... another new thing that Trimester has cogitated: instead of a link for Friend of the Day, it might be swell to actually show the picture on the front page. Whatever.
3/9/02 - 4:42 PM - What?! I just registered www.donkeybunch.com on freewebz.com! I stole the idea from weirphysics.com; it costs $18 for one year. So, in the next couple of days it could become the home of the Donkeybunch! It's a good platform for the 1-year Donkeybunch website anniversary! Maybe we could actually make a movie to celebrate! YEAH! Later Nader.
3/9/02 - This is the new front page for the Donkeybunch site (it's not finished, of course). How about a one year anniversary celebration for the website!?! Yeah, we can smoke kegs, smoke some acid bongs, whatever. Whatever. I plan to register the domain name www.donkeybunch.com (or .org) in the next few weeks or days, so that will be SO SWEET! and not gee. It's only $13/yr. or something, so it's a steal (literally and figuratively speaking - I actually stole it). But uh, skunk bud. "Hey dude, are you cool?" "Better believe it."
3/9/02 - All right, I will start remaking the front page today. People should post on the forum about ideas for the new homepage, but I guess I'll make it more or less the same. As always, it will be an example of expert web design, complete with links and words! (and maybe pictures) so support the Donkeybunch by forming a cult around us. P.S. Last night was perhaps the best night for hooliganry, at least as pertains to noises. It was as funny as Petey Pablo on a sunny North Carolina afternoon smokin' skunk bud with a Hot Carl on his face. (This gives you an idea of what we talked about) I'll probably get some pics from it, and maybe some sound clips. See you on the other side, comrades.
3/8/02 - This page is under temporary renovation on account of a stupid computer. IT'S SO GEE!!! Here is an explanation:
Yesterday I was helping Descamisado (Max) with his website. I signed in on the Donkeybunch page for some example HTML, and I copied and pasted it onto his site. I saved the page he wanted help on, and then signed off donkeybunch. Well, I found out from Jürgen that the Donkeybunch site was blue and in Spanish; in effect, I had saved Max's website as the Donkeybunch website. Fuck that. Don't worry though, Trimester only has to recreate the front page. I don't know how long it will take, but it won't be the same. Oh well, it's good to experience change.For now, Jürgen and I will be working on the S.P.O.R.T.S. page. So patience, fellow ultranationalists.
(Front page fiasco)
3/4/02 - I love Our Leader George Dubya. He's so grand. Especially today at Eden Prairie High School. HE SUPPORTS SPORTS! YES! He said "acts of compassion and decency define America" after he injected some patriotic bull-feces about Afghanistan and the "attack by evil people." Yet, "we" (meaning the government elite and military decision makers) take "our" revenge for the deaths of thousands of innocent Americans by assuring the deaths of thousands of innocent Afghanis. Hey man, "you're either with us or against us." You must be a fuckin' commie to say something like that. P.S. The new forum is not the kind used on the Twin Cities Hardcore Journal, but that's OK (oll korrect - word). Well, I think that's it, except, of course, the matter of MAKING A MOVIE. Let's discuss it - Friday, anyone? "Okay, Trimester, Friday is good for making a movie. Welp, see ya later with movie making fun."
New forum(not awesome, but better than other one)
3/2/02 - Damn, I love doing things and making more movies. It seems it is March now, and things. Thanks for the conversation. Goodbye. P.S. There are two new friend pictures on the Friends section. Petie Pablo, let the bodies hit the floor! P.P.S. Look at this page and see if you (still) think Britney Spears is cool.
(Here begins a four-month break with no record of news... much like government secrecy!)
11/05/01 - Prepare for death! Ha ha hmm ghet! This page is really cool and not dumb. If you are reading this, you cannot refuse to watch at least one of the DONKEYBUNCH'S recent productions. Choose from (in chronological order): Eckah's the Word, Duck Love, and Hot Male. Welp, salutations, comrades.
10/31/01 - Halloween. To celebrate, I will sing Halloween II by the Misfits: Formulae ueteres exorsismorum et excommunicationum / strigas et fictos lupos credere / daemon pellem lupinam in trunco quodam cauae arboris occultandum / HALLOWEEN... HALLOWEEN... HALLOWEEN... HALLOWEEN... / metamorphoses lycanthropie possunt inquam! DIE
10/30/01 - Um, hi. Since this section is sort of useless, I'll use it to say something: go to the Art and Friends section. There are things on them.
10/29/01 - Hey, dudes. Ya wanna play frisbee? Yes, and later I will update the Donkeybunch site even more with pictures of said group and its friends and enemies. It will be joyous and majestically good. So, you've probably heard about the one-year anniversary; just send our anniversary present (large sums of money and/or drugs) to any Donkeybunch member. When I say member, I mean one of the original five; don't feel left out, though. It doesn't matter anymore who's who in the Donkeybunch - the list goes on and on (not). But no doubt, we're on a good streak...
10/28/01 - Hey, dudes. Ya wanna play frisbee? No, I want to see "Duck Love" again and again and again. Oh, brothers, it was majestic, with the wizarding and the leg touching and the singing and the dancing and the name calling... Wow! Ookers! It is painfully obvious, you scrotes, that Trimester (or Al-Sayyid, or Scott, or Virgil, etc.) has posted something about it already on the front page, but still, you know, what did you eat? And another thing: Trimester will make the Donkeybunch Art and Pictures into another website, as I have done with the Destructamesh Photos. Also, pictures from "Duck Love" and maybe other movies will be on shortly as well. So stop whining and stop saying, "I ain't seen shit."
10/27/01 - Hey, dudes. Ya wanna play frisbee? No, I want GTA 3. YEAH! Yeah well, what are you gonna do. So anyway, I have replaced the Destructamesh photos on the front page with these "normal" pictures of the DB members. If you still want to see the Destructamesh photos, stay tuned for some links to other pages (so as not to "surpass my allocated data file transfer" or some shit like that). Also, the Donkeybunch Art and Pictures section (and maybe another section) will be on (an)other website(s) too as well. Welp, see ya later.
10/24/01 - Yet again, school-during-update-do-I. As you probably have heard, the new MIDI of We Built This City is on the page! You son of a bitch. How are you? Oh, and by-the-by, if I obtain a camcorder-to-PC cable, I will... yes that's right, post sounds and movies from the Donkeybunch archives. fuck
10/23/01 - I am in school again, Computer Applications A, to be exact. I like to do this in school. The movie that happened this weekend did not happen. Goodbye, you son of a bitch, How are you?
10/17/01 - I am in school. You are my kind of guy. WEBSITE VISITOR! website visitor! Hi, you are very cool. Let's not take a shower together.
10/16/01 - This comes to you direct from Pat's pregnant stomach (the fruit of Super Nintendo's loins). Um, hi. As you can see, this site has been updated. You bitch. If you really care about the Donkeybunch, you will sign the forum and send money to any of our cartel headquarters in the state of Africa. Goodbye, I'm a friend of Sarah Connor.
10/06/01 - Ummm... please don't kill Trimester. He has not updated this section for Three and a Half Months (Before he fucking went to fucking Borbonic Spain!) and is now updating it as he types these words (of course, when someone sees this, the words will have been typed for a long period of time. So, fucker fucker fucker fucker ecka eckah.
6/16/01 - Twenty-three days. 23 days. TWENTY-THREE MUTHAFUCKIN' ROTATIONS OF THE EARTH ON ITS AXIS. And I haven't even updated the News section. Well, take a guess WHY, motherfuckers. Has it occurred to you that I have feelings, too? Fuck, dude, shit. We haven't even made a movie since the Glorious Days In Which We Destroyed The Tempoop. We do not deserve to live. No. We do not deserve to live. We should die. We should die. But don't worry, our deaths will be successful and void of pain. (Except, of course, the gigarnticalest, shearing, butt-raping, blood-curdling pain of swords in your intestines.)
So come on down to the happiest Commune this side of the Atlantic: we have games and food and arsenic. I mean grape juice. I mean hard lacquer that will contaminate your innards as consistently as the Chupacabras kills innocent, fluffy, cute, fluffy rabbits, or cabbits as the case may be; do not try to stop the lacquer from doing its job. No, not liquor. I meant lacquer.
O! sweet sounding bells! What is that you say to me? The Donkeybunch will produce a series of production movies soon? O ecstasy! I love injecting eXtasy through my nose. So we might see you there... 'nt.
But seriously, the Trimester (aka Dander :( ) has written various movie-story-idea-script-but-not-script-story things for the approval of the other members of the DB. Of course, they had no bearing on any of the members' thoughts, so he killed himself... WITH A GUN! Yep, so he's dead.
Moving on. In other news, Larry and Algernon (the famed mice of olde) have taken a vacation to a Wcertain Efast Nfood Drestaurant Ythat Swill not like them. Heh, heh. Mmmmhhhhhmmmmmmhhhhhhmmmmmmaaaafgggggddddhhhhmmmm,:;. Did you guess the fast food restaurant? I'll give you a couple of minutes. Go ahead, guess. Take your best shot. I dare you, cobardes! I obscenity in the milk of the mothers of the fascists! Okay, you've had enough time. Did you guess Wendy's?
Well, you were wrong. Wendy's is an imaginary cow slaughtering station that the government has tricked you into conceiving. When you "eat" there, you eat nothing. There is no Wendy's, no McDonald's, no Arby's, no Kentucky Fried Chicken, no Rax, no Jack-in-the-Box, no Burger King, no International House of Pancakes, no Old Country Buffet, no Cherokee, no Black Angus, no Outback Steakhouse (where the food is just right), no Pizza Hut, no Greenmill, no Broadway Pizza, no Domino's Pizza, no Papa John's, no nothing in nowhere.
But there is such thing as Subway, because I own it and kill the chickens, cows, and rats myself.
In conclusion, this newsbrief has been informative and full of news.
