What Happens When It Ends?
beauty_and_thorns

Although no one ever wishes it or expects it, sometimes relationships don't work. They end for any one of a thousand reasons, such is life. W/we all want the fairy tale, the forever love that never gets old or boring or ends, but it happens sometimes, even to the best of couples. It is devastating to both parties and painful, but sometimes it just cannot be avoided. i can only speak from a submissive point of view, from experience. Like E/everyone else i've been through the end of a relationship. Just as with the death of a loved one, the death or ending of a relationship brings feelings that cannot be stopped or diminshed. They have to run their course so that W/we can move forward.

First of all, know that it's normal to feel lost. After having given all of yourself to someone and relying on them for guidance and love and acceptance, to have that suddenly taken away is devastating. you will be depressed, feeling as though the world has ended. you'll find yourself willing to accept all blame for what has happened. It's common to feel self doubt, even to the point that you question whether you're really submissive and whether you belong in this lifestyle at all.

First things first. A D/s relationship is one where a dominant controls a willing submissive, and the relationship�s seduction is through the willing one�s obedience and/or servitude to the dominant. In other words, each side gets what he or she wants out of the deal. The dominant seeks control, while the submissive places his or her trust in the dominant one. Like any other relationship, both sides need to get something out of it, or else it won�t work. It�s that simple.

you'll attempt to convince yourself it isn't really happening. you'll convince yourself that after a few hours or days They will come back to you and all will be forgiven. Sometimes They will, more often They won't. you'll find yourself sitting and waiting for hours or days for it to happen, and when it doesn't you'll be devastated all over again. you'll contemplate sending email or making a phone call begging Them to take you back, apologizing for having been the most worthless sub in existence. It's normal, but it doesn't work.

you'll enter a phase where you pray and plead, make deals with yourself, even contemplate making a deal with the devil himself, if only things could go back to the way they were. you'll promise to change the way you act, the way you look, whatever it takes to have that security and that love back.

you'll enter an anger phase where you hate Him/Her for having left you, for having let you feel these things. you'll most likely plot some type of revenge though the majority never actually carry it out. It's merely a comfort measure to know that you could if you so chose.

you'll enter an anger phase where you hate Him/Her for having left you, for having let you feel these things. you'll most likely plot some type of revenge though the majority never actually carry it out. It's merely a comfort measure to know that you could if you so chose.

And eventually you'll move on to acceptance. It's done, it's over, and it isn't coming back. There will be remorse, and a great sense of loss, but you will be ready to acknowledge that it's over for whatever reason, and eventually move on. At this point, it no longer matters who was at fault, it's just over. Believe it or not, this is reassuring to those of us who've survived it. It's the point at which you realize that life goes on, and tomorrow is another day. And the point where you realize there are more Doms in the dungeon.

There is no particular order for the phases, and each person feels them for a different length of time. Some pass quickly while others linger for a while. The point is not to fight them or try to push yourself to another phase but merely to accept them as they are and work through them in whatever way works best for you. They flow into one another almost without your noticing, and they pass in much the same way. you just kind of wake up one day and know you're ready to move on. you'll be able to look back and remember without pain, and look forward without pain too.

But have some fun while you are at it.