Penis Patch hearlded as "cure all" for penis problems

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(JOFUS) -- Given the overwhelming success of patches to help smokers quit, Pfizer hopes to acheive similiar with their patented penis patch.

In a landmark decision last week, the FDA approaved the first ever "Penis Patch", a small rectangular adhesive patch packed to the point of explosion with various drugs.

Among the drugs included is a micro-dose of Pfizer's own Viagra, the little blue pill popularized by former Senator Bob Dole. Various herbal supplements have also been added to enhance the sensation.

Contrary to popular belief, men have nothing to worry about from the penis patch. Competitor GSK has launched an ad campaign to make it seem that the patch is actually meant to "ween nymphos off the cock."

The original purpose of the patch was to supplement men with erectile dysfunction. After several strokes of 'genius', a senior designer decided to add supplements to enlarge the member as well.

Now the penis patch or PP as its called by industry insiders, comes in spermicide and sperm-flavoring versions. To distinguish between normal growth PPs and speciality ones the patch has picture such as a skull and cross-bones or an orange.

Users are encouraged to use a firm grasp when applying the patch and to spank it good if the member does not cooperate.

According to the enthusiatic clinical subjects, erections lasting 4 hours are the norm. They do advise seeing a doctor if the erection lasts for more than 5 days.

Not to allienate any potential customers, Pfizer has also released the patches in varying sizes including small, medium, large and asian.