 |
|
|||
 |
 |
 |
  | 
| ||||||||||
Confirmation hearings begin for Supreme Court Nominee
Chuck Norris is seen here contemplating round-house kicking the photographer in the head while counting to infinity for the third time.
RELATED
YOUR E-MAIL ALERTS(JOFUS) -- The White House is optimistic that the hearings will be both short and postitive as Chuck Norris is expected to testify later today. Despite the lack of judicial experience and his obvious conservative bias, Chuck Norris may be the fastest confirmed Justice in history. Sources within the Senate have pointed out the majority of the Senators see the confirmation hearing as a mere formality as several have been visted by Norris within the last week. Although no details were released many Senators have been sporting beards since their meeting with Norris. Norris's trip to the Sumpreme Court began with the retirement of Justice Sandra Day O'Connor in July when he made the top of President Bush's short list. A White House representative pointed out that overwhelming support for Norris was because, "He is from Texas." Since last summer Bush has exuded nothing but praise for the 600 time World Martial Arts Champion. With Bush facing criticism for his conversative nominations, analysts are pleased with his latest appointment. Justice Thomas pointed out that not only will the court receive free Total Gyms but a man who names his legs "Law" & "Order" will never stray from delivering fair justice. An accomplished history Since his youth, Chuck has accomplished far more than any Justice currently serving the Court. He has beaten cancer, traveled to Mars, and even saved President JFK's life. He has also won every martial arts championship ever and even touched MC Hammer during the early 90s. The Norris era is expected to bring a new age of judicial precident. As 'pain' is Norris's chief export the number of dissenting Justices is expected to decline rapidly as they are either round-house kicked to death or beard burned to death. And just for fun: http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx
|
| ||||||||||
Video
