JOFUS.com users predict Kerry will pick fool pitying badass

(JOFUS) -- More than ten years after he halted his professional career, Mr. T has been chosen by JOFUS.com users as the Democrats� most likely vice presidential nominee.

A 15-day survey of 54,385 users indicated that T-- besting 31 contenders -- is the person whom presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry will most likely select to round out his presidential ticket.

Mr. T defeated former president Bill Clinton with the electoral vote in the contest's fifth and final round.

"Mr. T is doing everything he can to elect Sen. Kerry and will continue to do so," said Kim Rubey, a fool hating spokesperson, in response to the Veepstakes' results.

While he is not seeking a congressional post in the U.S. Senate, T has been traveling the country -- including recent visits to Cleveland, Ohio, and Columbia, South Carolina, and an upcoming trip to Duluth, Minnesota -- to remind voters to "pity the fool".

Many of these trips, said Rubey, have been taken at the request of Kerry's campaign. But, while stumping hard for the Senator, Mr. T has consistently refused to discuss his possible interest in the vice presidency.

The CNN.com contest, dubbed "Veepstakes," began May 3 just after midnight and ended late on May 17. Thirty-two candidates, selected by CNN political experts, were split into four brackets: Southern, women's, "political peeps" and "badass" divisions.

Mr. T cruised through the first round, trouncing Rambo, the trigger happy hero with 95 percent of the vote, before likewise leveling Superman of Krypton, 90 percent to 10 percent.

Despite being weighed down by 80 lbs of gold jewelry, T continued his winning ways in "Round 3," decisively defeating Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger of California with 87 percent support to sweep the "Badass" division.

This led to a showdown with New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson -- a former congressman, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, energy secretary and the victor in the "Politcal Peeps" bracket. Despite Richardson's impressive resume, Mr. T won easily by "pity'n" nearly three-quarters of the Veepstakes vote.

Bill Clinton, meanwhile, emerged from the Dead Presidents division, despite being alive -- to challenge Mr. T in the finals.  Voters had probably anticipated a reality TV show based on Clinton's sexual exploits were he to take the VP nomination.

In the closest vote to date, Mr. T won voters hearts with his hard-line "no shit" ideals and his compassionate ability to "pity" those he considers fools.  T actually lost the vote to Clinton 49 percent to 48 percent (3 percent going to Monica to settle out of court) but won the electoral vote in a stunning turn of events.

In the Women's bracket, the final came down to the Olsen twins and Playmate of the Month.  Despite the appeal of a rotating vice-presidency to a sexy centerfold, the allure of the soon to be 18 year olds was far too great for the aging male demographic that reads this site.

CNN.com's Veepstakes contest holds special significance with Kerry, who topped all other competitors in the 2000 survey of then-Democratic nominee Al Gore's most likely running mates. But, while Kerry made the short list of vice presidential picks, Gore chose Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut.

That same year, CNN.com Veepstakes players tabbed J.C. Watts, then a U.S. representative from Oklahoma, over Colin Powell as the man then-Republican presidential nominee George W. Bush would most likely pick as his vice president. Bush selected Dick Cheney before narrowly winning that year's election.

In 1996, CNN.com users -- in a game called "VPick" -- correctly predicted that Sen. Robert Dole would choose Sen. Jack Kemp of New York to fill out the GOP presidential ticket.