Quotes02c

Ted

Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes, that's why one slays them.

Buffy: I mean investigate him. Find out his secrets, hack into his
life.
Xander: Can you say 'overreaction'?
Buffy: Can you say 'sucking chest wound'?

Cordelia: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon
that killed that guy that time?
Giles: Yes. Do let's bring that up as often as possible.

Bad Eggs

Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.
Buffy: But a thin streetwalker. That's
probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it?

Buffy: Vampire issues. Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?
Xander: I think the word you're searching for is 'absent'.
Willow: Tardy people show.

Lyle: Alright. I'm gonna beat you like a redheaded stepchild.
Throw your ass out in that sunlight. C'mon.

Cordelia: Figures you three would all be hanging in the dungeon while
something major's going on at Sunnydale High.
Xander: And what would that be, Cordelia? Barrette Appreciation Day?

Buffy: Great. You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy...
is like a day without sunshine.

Xander: Can I just say Gyughhh!
Buffy: I see your 'Gyughhh!' and raise you a Nyaghhh!

Surprise

Willow: Carpe diem. You told me that once.
Buffy: 'Fish of the day'?

Buffy: You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My
boyfriend had a bicentennial.

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda
nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. (Willow smiles) Do
you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.

Giles: Here comes Buffy. Now remember: discretion is the
better part of valor.
Xander: You coulda just said, 'shh!' God, are all you Brits such drama
queens? Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.

Angel: I gotta catch a cargo ship to Asia, maybe
trek to Nepal...
Buffy: You know, those newfangled flying machines really are much safer
than they used to be.

Giles: Round robin?
Willow: It's when everybody calls everybody else's mom and tells them
they're staying at everyone's house.
Buffy: Thus freeing us up for world saveage.
Willow: And all-night keggers! What,... only Xander gets to make dumb
jokes?

Innocence

Spike: Yeah. (turns and wheels over to him) It's
interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on
your ass. When do we destroy the world already?

Giles: No vampires transporting boxes?
Xander: No, but a four-hundred-pound wino offered to wash my hair.

Xander: After classes I'll come back and help you research.
Cordelia: Yeah, you might find something useful if it's in an
'I Can Read' book.

Spike: Are we feeling better, then?
Drusilla:I'm naming all the stars.
Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's
day.

Cordelia: What are we gonna do?
Giles: I'm leaning towards blind panic myself.

Cordelia: This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's
joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit
bottom.
Xander: I have a plan.
Cordelia: Oh, no, here's a lower place.

Spike: So you didn't kill her then.
Angelus: Of course not.
Spike: (exhales) Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while,
mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know.

Cordelia: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

Oz: So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?
Willow: Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun.

Quotes:
Season; 1, 2, 3

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