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| Welcome to the Hellmouth Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. The Harvest Buffy: I looked around, but soon's they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just, voom! Xander: They can fly? Buffy: They can drive. Xander: Oh. Jesse: I, I can hear the worms in the earth! Xander: That's a plus. Willow: Did we win? Buffy: Well, we averted the Apocalypse. I give us points for that. Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that. Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying. Giles: The Earth is doomed! The Witch Buffy: I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad! Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it. Giles: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! (sits on the edge of the table) There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. (everyone looks at him) Pardon me for finding the glass half full. Xander: Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away. Xander: (downtroden) For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me. Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair. Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history? Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia? Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that? Cordelia: (comes up behind them) Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to alternate. (reconsiders) Hold it, wait... No I'm not! Amy: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms. Cordelia: Ooo, these grapes are sour! Teacher's Pet Giles: (gets up to go to his office) Oh, uh, yeah, I just need to make one transatlantic telephone call. (stops and turns back) Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one, one assumes it is entirely legal? Willow and Buffy answer simultaneously. Willow: Entirely! Buffy: Of course! Giles: Right. Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you. Buffy: Good idea. Giles: Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death! Giles: I-I understand, Carlyle. Yes... I-I'll take every precaution. Uh, absolutely, i-i-it sounds exactly like the creature you described. Y-you were right all along about everything. Well, n-no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but... uh... Try to rest, old man. Yes... Ta! Bye now! Willow: What do we do now? Giles: Abject prayer and supplication would spring to mind. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date Buffy: (to Giles) See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things. Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth. Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show. Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm The Pack Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! (nods to Willow) Thank you, very exciting... Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes Angel Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is? Buffy: Bad hair on top of that outfit? Buffy: Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre- fumigation party? Xander: Much hardier cockroaches. I, Robot -- You, Jane Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages. Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave? Xander: To read makes our speaking English good Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles. Giles: Destroy the world's economy. Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing. Giles: Right, yours was best. Ms. Calendar: The first thing we have to do is form the circle of Kayless. Right? Giles: Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line. Ms. Calendar: Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you? Giles: Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear. Ms. Calendar: That's not where I dangle it. The Puppet Show Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking. Invisible Girl Giles: (sits) Uh, I'm, uh, it's a bit of a puzzle, really. Um, I've never actually heard of anyone attacked by a lone baseball bat before. Xander: Maybe it's a vampire bat. (no response ) I'm alone with that one, huh? Giles: Uh, once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh? Prophecy Girl Master: Yes! YES! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! GLORY! (The earthquake ends) Master: Whadaya think? 5.1? Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that! Angel: No, I wasn't! Xander: Just keep your distance, pal. Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck! Xander: I told you to eat before we left. Master: And by the way... (Buffy falls face first into the water) Master: I like your dress. Master: You're dead! Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty..... Which is more than I can say for you. Master: You were destined to die! It was written! Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written |
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| Disclaimer Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Twentieth Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the United Paramount Network, and whoever else has a legal claim to it. All pictures in this site were collected freely from the internet and are believed to be in the public domain. If you are the owner of any of the images that appear on this site, please send an email to Spacenewt. This site is run by fans of BtVS, for Fans of BtVS. This is a strictly not for profit site. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied. |