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When She Was Bad Xander: Yo! G-man! What's up? Giles: Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that. Willow: Cibo Matto? They're playing? Xander: No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing. Willow: Cibo Matto can clog dance? (off Xanders look) Oh, sarcasm, right. Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers. Buffy: (to Xander) Was that an insult? Xander: Kinda lacked punch. Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool. Cordelia: I see your point. Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges. Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good. Cordelia: Buffy: You're really campaigning for bitch-of- the-year, aren't you? Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous? Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now. Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h? Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out. Xander: A bitca? Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense. Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five. Buffy: This is Cordelia's.(bracelet wrapped round a rock!)'Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal.' Xander: They're gonna cook her dinner?..... I'llpretend I didn't say that. Cordelia: What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is? Jenny: What? Cordelia: It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains. Jenny: Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains. Cordelia: I hear ya! Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life? Buffy: Would it have cable? Some Assembly Required Willow: This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place. Angel: Well, what I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts. Buffy: Could this get yuckier? Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat. Buffy: Question answered. Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky. School Hard Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move. Xander: Yeah, I'll whittle stakes. Willow: A-and I can research stuff. Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune. Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the plural? Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.' Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling. Willow: And you said it wrong. Buffy: Oh, je stink. Vampire: Slayer! Buffy: Slayee! Buffy: (holding an axe) Do we really need weapons for this? Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly. Spike: No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. (smirks) I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit. Buffy: No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot Cordelia: (praying) And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they *really* deserve it. Or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible... Willow: Ask for some aspirin. Cordelia: And can you please send some asp... Hey! |
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