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| Inca Mummy Girl Xander: What he lacks in smarts he makes up in lack of smarts. Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years. Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way. Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone. Giles: (sarcastically) It's as if you know me. Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke. Xander: For twenty-one hours? Willow: It's addictive, you know. Reptile Boy Willow: Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but... Cordelia: You'll go to college someday, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after. Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die. Xander: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight? Xander: I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me. Willow: You wanna protect her? Xander: Mm-hm. Willow: And prove that you're just as good as those rich, snotty guys? Xander: Mm-hm. Willow: Maybe catch an orgy? Xander: If it's on early. Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink. Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture. |
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Halloween Buffy: Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight. Giles: I enjoy cross-referencing. Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out? Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew. Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs? Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show- up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there? Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now. Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of. Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when? Giles: Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark. Ethan: Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter. Lie to Me Angel: You know, I never used to.Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin'guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one. Angel: Could you *not* call me that? Xander: In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs. Angel: Let's look around. You guys check out downstairs. Xander: Sure thing, Bossy the cow! Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out? Xander: What? Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!' Xander: You have too many thoughts. Willow: The Lonely Ones? Angel: Vampires. Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones. Drusilla: (to the bird) I'll give you a seed if you sing. Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one. Spike: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers? Xander: Angel was in your bedroom? Willow: Ours is a forbidden love. Giles: You mean life? Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy? Giles: What do you want me to say? Buffy: (looks up at him) Lie to me. Giles: (considers a moment) Yes, it's terribly simple. Giles: The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. Buffy: Liar. |
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