Okay, even if war is in the offing -- some pun intended -- let's talk taxes. Y'all know where the Democraps stand on taxes: more is better. Y'all know where the Republican'ts stand on taxes: less is better. Well, here's where the National Barking Spider Resurgence Party stands on taxes: they SUCK.
They SUCK the life out of my wallet, my savings account, my monthly budget. They SUCK me dry at the store, the gas pump, paying bills, and at the annual income tax time. If I had dividend interest income, they'd double SUCK.
Granted, taxes may SUCK, but do have a degree of necessity: they help fund the military that defends me. They help fund the police and fire that protects me from my misadventures in the kitchen. They help fund infrastructure -- roads, water, sewage, etc -- so I have something to drive on, drink, and flush. They even help pay for my tax-and-spend representation locally, regionally and nationally.
I knew I'd get screwed at some point in this dissertation.
They also help pay for a wealth of programs and things I don't like, use, or agree with, which I'm told makes me greedy and mean-spirited. To those who think thus, SUCK THIS: Speaking as a voting-registered taxpayer, and hardly one who qualifies as 'rich', I am all for any tax cut that reaches my wallet. I don't care if my 5% tax cut and a rich guy's 5% tax cut is thousands apart; he/she makes and pays that much more than I do. Simple math, you socialist nincompoops.
Speaking as the representative of the National Barking Spider Resurgence Party, I support the following taxation plan:
- allowing of a gradual phase-in of privatization of Social Security tax option to those 'Mericans who voluntarily want more say in how they invest in their own future. Instead of only 2%, as proposed by Dubya, I'll go 5%. Do I hear 10%? Going once...going twice...
- elimination of progressive tax rates, and adoption of a national sales tax on all new-item purchases. There's some foundation out there that is promoting this particular plan and it makes more sense than talking to Ozzy Osbourne.
- forever-after elimination of the marriage tax penalty; marriage penalties are obvious and more than enough, without taxing them, too.
- elimination of the death tax penalty; let someone die in peace, and not in pieces that go to fund idiotic liberal utopian nonsense. If a person wants to leave their estate to such twaddle, there's something called a 'will' for that.
- eliminate double taxation on many forms off so-called 'unearned' income; the only truly 'unearned' income is wealth-transfer "entitlement" payments.
- heck, I'll even throw in no more taxes on entitlement payments.
- and I'll eliminate all deductions and looppholes, so there's no reason or incentive for 'creative accounting'. You can make what you want, knowing you'll only pay a set rate at the outset.
- as a sop to liberals who think free markett capitalism is the devil's Ecstacy, I will retain double taxation for the wealthy liberals like George Soros and Bill Clinton, who'd otherwise scream like stuck pigs that only the wealthy are getting a tax break: since they claim to corner the market on compassion, they can pay double, treble, even more if it makes them feel better, for all those touchy-feely social programs they're so fond of creating and expecting business and the lower-middle class to fund.
To be sure, such a tax structure will put a lot of accountants and tax attorneys out of work; not to worry. If your rich liberal friends won't fund you a park bench in California, I'm sure the local Burger King needs a burger flipper for $7 an hour, giving you a tax cut.
I won't tell your non-understanding liberal friends if you won't.
My tax plan is better than yours, Dems and Dubya. Phffffft.