Anyone who says that their opponent supports poisoning the air and drinking water is a twelve-eyed Al Qaida pond scum expresso snorter. No rational person would advocate policies that would pollute the nation's water and air. So I'll dispense with that badly scripted Sierra Club/ELF impropangandic nonsense up front, far as my opponents go. I don't know of any of them that would intentionally go to that length.
At least, not within the confines of their own voter district.
Factually speaking, this nation's ecological outlook is considerably better than it was 100 years ago. We're more attuned to what we do; we do more in the conservational sense; we've cleaned up and rehabilitated vast tracts of lands and waters, both with a new awareness and new technologies. Granted, we still have much to do: the only reason New Jersey has more hazardous material dumpsites and California has more fiscally bankrupting liberal lawyers is that New Jersey had first choice.
New Jersey chose wisely, and will be far easier to straighten out.
We of the National Barking Spider Resurgence Party are attuned to the environment. We care about not only clean air and water, we care about the multitude of life forms that live, breathe, procreate and eat each other there, too. A brief sampling of our environmental policies will include:
- a guarantee of ample K-Mart/Target/Walmart etc. signs for spotted owls to nest in, even if we need to mandate signs where there ain't a store
- we'll lobby to prohibit whale migrations through redwood forests during logging operations, keeping them protected from falling trees and the screaming Earth Firsters beneath the trunks
- we'll seek designation on the Federal Endangered Species Act for fiscal responsibility among those few in the Democrapic Party who dare to voice such an inclination, against their more corrupted, dysfunctional liberal base
- we'll seek designation on the Federal Endangered Feces Act for speeches by Tom Daschle, Ted Kennedy and Trent Lott
- we'll fight for protections for dolphins from being fished for by tuna
- and we'll lobby hard for filtration systems on the Congress and other governmental offices, to protect the ozone and breathing air from the excessive flatulence that emanates during in-session periods of Congressional hoo ha
After all, aren't we the party symbolized by a rare and unique creature of Nature? Damn straight we are.