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TEAM SAM

Head Coach:  Sam S. Hong
Expertise: Tree Hugging, Men
Home City: Anaheim, California
Likes: Good looking mama's boys, exotic trees, men of all genders
DIslikes: Women
Team Roster


Ben, Gentle
Bio: The only non-human member of the team, Gentle Ben hosts a television talk show in his spare time.  His great affinity for food and rummaging for berries is key for Team Sam's success.
Watch a clip of Ben's Talk Show




Cloutier, Dan
Bio: Goaltender of the Vancouver Canucks of the National Hockey League, Cloutier's ability to speak French is considered "cool" but really has no benefit to the team.





Kapowski, Kelly
Bio: She's hot. Enough said. In fact, I didn't even have to say what I just said.







Morris, Zack
Bio: Super hunk of Saved By the Bell fame, Morris is used mostly for showing off.  Every team needs its good-looking athlete.




Simpson, Lisa
Bio: In charge of the Academic Division, this Simpson is the motor that keeps Team Sam running.  Needless to say, Simpson is often distracted by some of her muscular and super-hunk teammates (and coach).





Slater, Alfred Clifford
Bio: Phenomenal actor also of Saved By the Bell Fame, Slater is an integral part of Team Sam's Entertainment Division.  Partciipates little with the Academic Division.






Song, Chong-Gug
Bio: Member of the Korean National Soccer Team, and of club team, Feyenoord (Netherlands), Song cannot speak English is only a member of the team because Coach Sam Hong is infatuated with his ability to manipulate balls.  He is unaware that he is a member of the team.
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