Papertalk-Art&Poems  
Dive Cove -Dive Pics  
Photos  
Pets  
Wishing On A Star -Wishes
Rainbow Bridge  
For Adoption   
Leave ur Footprints    
Footprint Collection   
Email Me 

trippin in yesteryears..

2003 - trippin broken . messed up . demented . my soul screams in anguish of your betrayal.. 

2004 - prozacs . valium . the love of my life . so heartbreakingly beautiful.. 

2005 - year of little words.. much happiness.. and i dun have to dream any longer..

"shush please..."

Why this sadness in this world.. 
dense like a morning fog…
I cried the tears that I'd held so long..
for this world that's gone so wrong..  
the sadness.. destructions.. the broken souls…
So damned broken by this world..
 
a thousand shards of glass piercing deep within my heart..
each breath like a thousand sins upon my soul…
the pain I can’t take.. the escape I can’t wait..
can I close my eyes and not see morrow?
let death wash over me.. like love upon a child..
take me away.. I’m so broken..

who is my friend? Who is my foe?
Why is every face I see the same?
lost in this crowd of faces that I don’t recognize..
Not a single face of a friend..
I need to run away.. from this world that’s turned so cold…

Tell me again that I’m gullible..
maybe I’d rather be ignorant and make live in my make-believe world
don’t force it in my face..
I can’t handle the ugliness of this world..
I try to laugh and feel the joy of when I was but a child..
but no imitation is ever immaculate enough..
no matter what I do I just can’t relive the joy I once tasted..
the innocence.. the pure and simple …  

some long ago that I yearn for so badly..
yet everyday it slips further away..
made up this world to be so much more beautiful
but time and again I’m tripping on disappointments..
can’t I just dwell a little longer in childlike joy?
Bring me back to the day I still believed in this world’s goodness
I don’t know when I stopped believing..

Why is everyone and everything trying to banish me to hell?
I live on hope and love..
Don’t deny me of that..
shush please.. don’t tell me to grow up..
I don’t want to become what I despise

I’m on the brink of insanity..
I’m just hoping for a day longer..
Jaded over and over again.. my heart is in such torment
Why was I placed in this world?
Can’t I just sleep and forget about everything ?
just for one night…
bring me back to when I believed..

an eternity of agony.. the pain deep within my heart,
this wretched soul of mine..
each time I close my eyes..
I see faces… and they scare me..   

                                      - Shirleen

http://complicatednothingness.ivanshirleen.com

Monday. 28th August 2006  Starry Starry Night



Baby rushed the shop to get my Fendi ZipCode in time for his Bravo Company's D&D.. "Starry Starry Night" 
my handsome baby looks soooo smart!! and soo yummy!! couldn't stop looking at each other the entire nite.. 

had loadsa fun.. especially meeting up with Jessica who's so full of bubbles and outta this world humour.. and
finally met Walter's gf Pristin.. its surprising the similarities we have - 1. both biotech students 2. both wanna
pursue psychology in future 3. both divers 4. both are aquarians!! waha! 3 aquarians vs 2 saggis & 1 aries! 
From left to right in the group pic above - Pristin & Walter, Ivan & Shirleen , Jessica & Keith. The dinner show
was crappy and really draggy.. but the company made up for it.. however hermit me was craving for home
so badly by 12am.. 

as much as i love shopping, dressing up etc. this is really such a big big headache.. dress, hair, make-up,
shoes, bag, accessories, watch! *faintz*