I have a question that I hope everyone reading this will give me their opinion on. If you were to get a letter from a family member that you see about once a year and in that letter they told you they were gay, what would you think? Would coming out through a letter be inappropriate, impersonal, or make it seem the writer is not secure enough in their sexuality to tell you face to face?
See the thing is, I want to be out to everyone before the end of the year. That is one of my resolutions I made at the beginning of the year and I very much want to keep it. I am ready and have been for some time, for everyone to know that I am a lesbian. Their reaction could be mixed but I am prepared for that. The people I am closer to I have told in person and they have stuck by me, if others don't accept this I can live with that. The recipients of these letters would include, aunts, uncles, cousins (younger cousins would be told at their parents discretion) and grandparents. I am not a talker so when I do see my relatives I say very little to them. Coming out over the phone would not work for me and I want to give them some time to let it sink in and to think about how they feel before they show me their reaction, the letter would give time for that.
The next time I will see anyone from my dad's side of my family is next summer at my sister's wedding. There is a good chance Lisa will be with me at the wedding. This will be my sister's day and I don't want to ruin anything or take the spot light from her by telling my family when they come that weekend and I want them to be prepared to see me dancing and kissing a gurl while we are there. And I very much don't want to not have Lisa there or to hide our love and be unable to dance with eachother. See my dilemma? As for my mom's side of my family, I will see them a few times before the wedding, such as at christmas and other special occassions where we have family get togethers. In the past, during these I say nothing and would feel very uncomfortable coming out to about fifteen people at a time, not to mention the younger children would also be there. I want them to know to, but because of their age it would be best to let their parents decide when they will know. Though, they to would be seeing me and Lisa at the wedding. It's possible I could talk to people individually at these get togethers, take them into a room alone and tell them, but I think that would also be awkward as I never say anything to them and certainly nothing as personal as to who I am in love with so taking them into a room to do so, may make my news bigger than it actually is. I think a letter could play it down a bit. And honestly it's hard enough telling one person in a day not to mention fifteen in a matter of hours. I can also say a lot more in writing then I can verbally, I could get them to understand more through writing than through talking because my talking would be rushed and I would be too nervous to say all that I want to say. At the end of the letters I would give them my phone number, email, and address so they could talk to me however they were most comfortable, so it's not like I would only be giving them the option of writing and that was it. Oh, and my letters would be sent through snail mail and not email, I think that would be more approriate than an email. So what do you think? Please, please, tell me what I should do. And I'll make it really easy for you to:) Just a quick little form. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.
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