some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
But I am talkative, and flirtateous, and coy, and spunky, and lesbian. I like this second me better it is more the kind of person I want to be. I can joke around with complete strangers and talk about things that I wish I could talk about in my daily life. I sometimes feel a better connection with someone I have talked to for an hour over someone I have known for five years.
I know I could change that, or at least change some of it by coming out to my friends and family, but doing that is hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. And scary, even when I don't care I am still scared. It took me two full days of total stress and 'laters' before I came out to my friend, whom I was sure would be alright with my sexuality. I can't imagine how it will be when I tell my mom, or my less openminded friends. I dread the thought.
So which person am I really, or am I a mix? I think I am a mix, I can be talkative under the right circumstances(or when drunk), I'm sarcastic either way, openminded either way, but only out going when I am being the flirtateous, gay me. I like both sides to myself, but I would really like to feel the release in everyday conversation that I get from talking to strangers who for a moment at least are my friends.
But which ever I am, I am off to bed as the gay me with fantasies dancing through my head. That's all folks.