some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
People can be against my sexuality, just don't be against me or anyone I love, and never think this is a choice I or anyone made. This has been such a hard depressing struggle mentally and emotionally for me, I would not choose to go through that willingly. Especially considering I could loose everyone dear to me and run the risk of coming across homophobic people and hate crimes directed at me. Makes a person want to almost lie about it for their entire life but that is just too hard, hard enough for this short of time. No, I will come out and I will love openly another womyn and marry her if/when I can, and adopt or have children. I will not live a lie because I am afraid. I'd rather die being disowned by everyone and a victim of a brutal hate crime than to die still in a lie, no one really having know me when I lived.
I have so many people I want hearing this directly from me, what a pain. Can't they just read my thoughts...although most are x-rated and not suitable for many of them, young or old, hehe. My head is so fucked up, should be a great writer anyway. Someday. Been in the need for too many 'somedays' lately.