[ Battle Royale Parody ] -- cowritten by Easter Bunny and Ducky
[ Chapter 4 ]
Benjamin Tran (Male student number 7) and Chris Lam (male student
number 6) were sitting besides the swimming pool, hand in hand. The sun was setting, and all was peaceful and quiet (aside from the occasional scream of terror). Chris looked deep into Benjamin�s eyes and said, �I can�t stand this, Ben. Everybody is dying, and even if we are the last two left, one of us will have to kill the other.�
Benjamin returned Chris�s stare and said � I couldn�t stand to live without you, Chris.�
�Then we have only one choice...� Chris sighed. �We�ll have to commit suicide, my Benny-Boo-Boo.�
�Let us end it with one sweet, passionate kiss, my Little Kissy Chrissy!� Cried Ben, puckering up his lips.
Chris winced, and then said �No... um.... lets end it right now! Goodbye, my love!�
Benjamin and Chris descended into the pool, holding hands. Benjamin lay face down on the water, and slowly inhaled and icy the water. Benjamin shuddered and his body convulsed, trying to reject the substance entering his lungs. Slowly, however, his struggles subsided, and Benjamin�s body gave up the last glimmer of life.
A few seconds later, Chris Lam emerged from the water, spluttering and coughing. He had been holding his breath. He looked over at Ben�s floating corpse and sneered. �Sentimental fool!� Chris rasped. �I�m going to win this game!�
Picking up both of their packs, Chris set out into the gathering darkness, preparing for the conflicts on the horizon.
Somewhere up in heaven... (no, wait, oops.) Somewhere down in the depths of the underworld, Benjamin was shaking his fist and bellowing.
�You bastard! That�s it, I�m dumping you and going out with Dan!� (who also happened to be in the underworld.) �He will appreciate me!�
25 Students Remaining
-----------
Karins Nguyen, Kathy Phi, and Nguyen Pham (Female students number 8, 2, and 9) were heading towards the baseball locker room. They had agreed to meet up there with Tannie and Kim, but they were assaulted by a horrible, obese, hideous monster. All 5 of them were forced to flee and they became separated in the halls.
These three would have gone to the locker rooms immediately, but when they were in the quad they witnessed a horrible sight. As they crouched in the bushes, Karins saw Johnny Nguyen emerge from the bathroom and nudged the others to look as well. He was dragging a large, bulky shape behind him. It almost looked like....
Kathy stifled a scream when she realized that the bloody lump had once been Samuel Kwon. The girls were terrified, but they couldn�t move or say anything for fear of Johnny noticing them. Nguyen, who was on the verge of being sick because of the gruesome spectacle, then noticed something that made her insides squirm even more. Johnny was a holding a bloody pair of chopsticks!
�He must have killed Samuel,� Nguyen whispered to Kathy, �so he could drag the body off and EAT IT!�
�That�s weird,� replied Karins. �I didn�t know Johnny ate fatty foods....�
�SHHHHH!� whispered Kathy. �He�s looking over here!�
Indeed, after depositing Samuel�s corpse upon another similar sized lump, Johnny had turned in their direction. His nose twitched, as if he could smell them, and his cold, merciless eyes scanned the bushes where they were hiding. All three girls grasped their weapons (a golf club, wrench, and hammer), uncertain of whether they could defeat him. Karins could have sworn that he had locked eyes with her, and as she stared into his cold, murky orbs, she thought she could detect a hint of... fluffy pink love???
Johnny, however, had not detected their presence. He stalked away, no doubt in search of other prey.
As soon as he was out of sight, the three girls fled as fast as they could towards the baseball locker rooms. As they passed Samuel�s corpse, Nguyen thought she spied a bloody caterpillar gnawing on his flesh....
�Nah!� she reasoned. �Couldn�t be!�
-----------
Khang had been hiding inside one of the storage sheds near the soccer fields. Unfortunately for him, He had been armed with a very large care-bear with a rainbow on its stomach. Khang couldn�t possible figure out how to use this to his advantage, unless he hollowed it out and hid in it. He was considering doing just that, when he spied a lone figure crossing the soccer field.
Khang was overjoyed, because this was the one person he would have liked to meet up with most (besides maybe John Vu). �Samantha!� He whispered as she passed close to his hide-out. �Over here! Its Khang!�
Samantha jumped about in surprise, but as she spied Khang's face inside the door she uncertainly started towards him. She looked frightened and nervous, on the verge of bursting into tears. �Khang? Is it really you?� Samantha whispered, lower lip trembling.
�Its me!� Khang whispered back, quickly slicking back his hair so he would look �cool.� Then, thinking of an even better use for the care-bear, Khang said, �Come here. I�ve got a present for you!�
Samantha entered the shed and squealed with joy as she saw the oversized plush animal. �I love it!� she exclaimed. �Come here, Khang, so I can give you a big hug!�
Khang thought to himself �All right! this is the first action I�ve had in years!� He stepped towards Samantha, arms outstretched.
Samantha didn�t greet Khang with a hug, though. She �hugged� him with a knife.
She �hugged� him with that knife 12 times.
�HAHAHAHAHAHA!� Samantha shrieked, cackling as she stabbed Khang again and again. The razor sharp hunting knife penetrated Khang in the chest, arms, and neck. Blood sprayed the walls of the shack and Khang�s eyes glazed over, still unsure of what had just happened. Slowly, he tipped over and landed on the dusty floor with a muffled thud. Khang was dead.
Samantha wiped the blood on her pants. She allowed a small smile to show on her lips. �One down,� she said. �but a lot more to go.�
As an afterthought, Samantha looked down at the giant care-bear. Should she keep it as a reminder of her former boyfriend? �Nah!� Samantha though. She lashed out with her knife and lopped the bear�s head off. She then carved her nickname into the bears chest, stabbed it once for good measure, and exited the shed. She was ready to continue the game.
24 Students Remaining
-----------
Karins, Kathy, and Nguyen had almost arrived at the baseball locker room when they heard eerie sounds drifting out of it. At first they thought it was their imagination, but as they approached, there could be no mistaking it. Somebody was playing banjo music from inside the locker room. The sounds of haunting music was drifting through the open door....
...Camp town ladies song this song! doo da, doo da! Working on a railroad five miles long! Oh, the doo da day...
The trio looked at each other in confusion. �It couldn�t be Tannie,� Nguyen whispered to the other two, �because she had a flame-thrower. Kim might have had a banjo, but I don�t think so. Maybe they met up with another girl, and invited her in....�
�Somebody probably joined them,� reasoned Kathy. �because I remember that Kim had a baseball bat.�
�You�re probably right.� said Karins. �But just to be on the safe side, be prepared to fight or run. After all, somebody might have been there before Kim and Tannie arrived.�
All three girls held their weapons out in front of them and slowly inched forward. The music continued to emanate from the locker room....
...Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony! Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni...
The three girls arrived in the doorway. For some reason, the lights had been turned off. In the dim light they could see two sack-like objects hanging down from the ceiling. They were probably punching bags. After all, this was a locker room. The eerie music continued to float out the doorway, coming from the darkness within....
...Round and Round the Mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel! The monkey thought 'twas all in fun...
Karins, finally working up her courage, stepped through the threshold. Her voice quavering, she meekly called out �T-tannie?... Kim?.... is anybody there?�
The music abruptly stopped and there was dead silence. Then, from within the murky depths of the locker room, there came a scraping, shuffling sound. Karins, her tension rising, shouted �Stop! I warn you, I�m armed. I h-have a gun!� In fact, Karins was armed with a golf club, but the thing inside the locker room didn�t know that.
The shuffling sound stopped and there was silence again. Kathy, who had stayed outside with Nguyen, spied a light switch and stepped inside to turn it on. �Hey, here�s a light� she said. �Let�s see who is hiding in h��
�IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!� All three girls screamed in abject terror as the light revealed what lay inside.
There, suspended form the ceiling (by... guitar strings?) were the corpses of Tannie and Kim. These were what the girls had originally suspected of being punching bags. There was blood all over their bodies, and each of their faces were mangles and bruised. The eyes of the corpses were blank white, and puss seeped out of their corners. A putrid stench wafted over them and made them gag.
The girls continued screaming, and just then, before they could flee, the door slammed shut and locked. The lights went out.
Nguyen, locked outside, didn�t know what to do. She pounded on the door with all her might and called out to her comrades. Then, from within, there came a sound similar to a rotten log tearing in half, and two heavy thumps.
Then, the locker room door creaked open of its own accord. Nguyen took a frightened step backwards. Within the doorway, half shrouded in shadow, Nguyen could see the bodies of Kim and Karins. Blood was spreading out under them and soaking their clothes. It looked as though Kim�s head had been bashed in, and something seemed to be sprouting from Karins� torso. It was...
The lower half of a banjo.
Nguyen screamed and began sprinting in the opposite direction. She ran as fast as she could, her head still reeling with the sight of her murdered friends.
From within the baseball locker room, the sound of a banjo could be heard very faintly...
�...Pop goes the weasel....�
22 Students Remaining
-----------
Jon Vu had been looking for Khang for quite some time. He had been friends with Khang since elementary school, and the two of them were very close. Somehow, John believed that if he found Khang everything would turn out okay.
Jon had been hiding between the perimeter wall and the tennis courts. Here, however, his vision was limited, and he needed to go someplace where he could see the surrounding area.
He decided to go for the shed on the other side of the soccer field. John tensed his muscles and sprinted towards the safety of the lone building (John was in track and field and cross-country, so naturally he was super fast). Jon crossed the field without incident and arrived at the entrance to the shed. He hurled himself inside and landed, panting, on the floor.
It wasn�t until his breathing had subsided that he realized he was looking directly into Khang's face. �AAAAAAHHHH!� Jon let out a short, surprised scream. Then he stopped himself and said �Jeez Khang, you surprised me. Why didn�t you tell me you were here when I came through the door. I�m so relieved to see you! And why are you being so quiet....�
It was then that John noticed the ragged slashes and gaping holes running down Khang�s chest. �AHHHHHHHH!� John let out another scream, identical to the first. John, his hand shaking, slowing reached over and felt Khang�s pulse. There was none. Khang was dead.
Slowly, John rose to his feet, a furious look coming onto his childish face. John�s eyes hardened and he bared his teeth. �I swear,� John said, picking up his AK-47, �that I will not rest until I have avenged Khang�s death. I will kill Khang�s murderer, and anybody else who gets in my way!�
John surveyed the room, and spied a decapitated care bear sitting against the far wall. He noticed, carved into its stomach with crude lettering, a single word: �Spam.�
�So, it was Samantha.� thought John as he narrowed his eyes. �Time to go on the hunt.� John left the shed, machine gun in hand, in search of his prey.
22 Students Remaining
:: Student List::
:: Chapter 1 ::
:: Chapter 2 ::
:: Chapter 3 ::
:: Chapter 5 ::
:: Chapter 6 ::
:: Chapter 7 ::
:: Chapter 8 ::
Benjamin returned Chris�s stare and said � I couldn�t stand to live without you, Chris.�
�Then we have only one choice...� Chris sighed. �We�ll have to commit suicide, my Benny-Boo-Boo.�
�Let us end it with one sweet, passionate kiss, my Little Kissy Chrissy!� Cried Ben, puckering up his lips.
Chris winced, and then said �No... um.... lets end it right now! Goodbye, my love!�
Benjamin and Chris descended into the pool, holding hands. Benjamin lay face down on the water, and slowly inhaled and icy the water. Benjamin shuddered and his body convulsed, trying to reject the substance entering his lungs. Slowly, however, his struggles subsided, and Benjamin�s body gave up the last glimmer of life.
A few seconds later, Chris Lam emerged from the water, spluttering and coughing. He had been holding his breath. He looked over at Ben�s floating corpse and sneered. �Sentimental fool!� Chris rasped. �I�m going to win this game!�
Picking up both of their packs, Chris set out into the gathering darkness, preparing for the conflicts on the horizon.
Somewhere up in heaven... (no, wait, oops.) Somewhere down in the depths of the underworld, Benjamin was shaking his fist and bellowing.
�You bastard! That�s it, I�m dumping you and going out with Dan!� (who also happened to be in the underworld.) �He will appreciate me!�
25 Students Remaining
-----------
Karins Nguyen, Kathy Phi, and Nguyen Pham (Female students number 8, 2, and 9) were heading towards the baseball locker room. They had agreed to meet up there with Tannie and Kim, but they were assaulted by a horrible, obese, hideous monster. All 5 of them were forced to flee and they became separated in the halls.
These three would have gone to the locker rooms immediately, but when they were in the quad they witnessed a horrible sight. As they crouched in the bushes, Karins saw Johnny Nguyen emerge from the bathroom and nudged the others to look as well. He was dragging a large, bulky shape behind him. It almost looked like....
Kathy stifled a scream when she realized that the bloody lump had once been Samuel Kwon. The girls were terrified, but they couldn�t move or say anything for fear of Johnny noticing them. Nguyen, who was on the verge of being sick because of the gruesome spectacle, then noticed something that made her insides squirm even more. Johnny was a holding a bloody pair of chopsticks!
�He must have killed Samuel,� Nguyen whispered to Kathy, �so he could drag the body off and EAT IT!�
�That�s weird,� replied Karins. �I didn�t know Johnny ate fatty foods....�
�SHHHHH!� whispered Kathy. �He�s looking over here!�
Indeed, after depositing Samuel�s corpse upon another similar sized lump, Johnny had turned in their direction. His nose twitched, as if he could smell them, and his cold, merciless eyes scanned the bushes where they were hiding. All three girls grasped their weapons (a golf club, wrench, and hammer), uncertain of whether they could defeat him. Karins could have sworn that he had locked eyes with her, and as she stared into his cold, murky orbs, she thought she could detect a hint of... fluffy pink love???
Johnny, however, had not detected their presence. He stalked away, no doubt in search of other prey.
As soon as he was out of sight, the three girls fled as fast as they could towards the baseball locker rooms. As they passed Samuel�s corpse, Nguyen thought she spied a bloody caterpillar gnawing on his flesh....
�Nah!� she reasoned. �Couldn�t be!�
-----------
Khang had been hiding inside one of the storage sheds near the soccer fields. Unfortunately for him, He had been armed with a very large care-bear with a rainbow on its stomach. Khang couldn�t possible figure out how to use this to his advantage, unless he hollowed it out and hid in it. He was considering doing just that, when he spied a lone figure crossing the soccer field.
Khang was overjoyed, because this was the one person he would have liked to meet up with most (besides maybe John Vu). �Samantha!� He whispered as she passed close to his hide-out. �Over here! Its Khang!�
Samantha jumped about in surprise, but as she spied Khang's face inside the door she uncertainly started towards him. She looked frightened and nervous, on the verge of bursting into tears. �Khang? Is it really you?� Samantha whispered, lower lip trembling.
�Its me!� Khang whispered back, quickly slicking back his hair so he would look �cool.� Then, thinking of an even better use for the care-bear, Khang said, �Come here. I�ve got a present for you!�
Samantha entered the shed and squealed with joy as she saw the oversized plush animal. �I love it!� she exclaimed. �Come here, Khang, so I can give you a big hug!�
Khang thought to himself �All right! this is the first action I�ve had in years!� He stepped towards Samantha, arms outstretched.
Samantha didn�t greet Khang with a hug, though. She �hugged� him with a knife.
She �hugged� him with that knife 12 times.
�HAHAHAHAHAHA!� Samantha shrieked, cackling as she stabbed Khang again and again. The razor sharp hunting knife penetrated Khang in the chest, arms, and neck. Blood sprayed the walls of the shack and Khang�s eyes glazed over, still unsure of what had just happened. Slowly, he tipped over and landed on the dusty floor with a muffled thud. Khang was dead.
Samantha wiped the blood on her pants. She allowed a small smile to show on her lips. �One down,� she said. �but a lot more to go.�
As an afterthought, Samantha looked down at the giant care-bear. Should she keep it as a reminder of her former boyfriend? �Nah!� Samantha though. She lashed out with her knife and lopped the bear�s head off. She then carved her nickname into the bears chest, stabbed it once for good measure, and exited the shed. She was ready to continue the game.
24 Students Remaining
-----------
Karins, Kathy, and Nguyen had almost arrived at the baseball locker room when they heard eerie sounds drifting out of it. At first they thought it was their imagination, but as they approached, there could be no mistaking it. Somebody was playing banjo music from inside the locker room. The sounds of haunting music was drifting through the open door....
...Camp town ladies song this song! doo da, doo da! Working on a railroad five miles long! Oh, the doo da day...
The trio looked at each other in confusion. �It couldn�t be Tannie,� Nguyen whispered to the other two, �because she had a flame-thrower. Kim might have had a banjo, but I don�t think so. Maybe they met up with another girl, and invited her in....�
�Somebody probably joined them,� reasoned Kathy. �because I remember that Kim had a baseball bat.�
�You�re probably right.� said Karins. �But just to be on the safe side, be prepared to fight or run. After all, somebody might have been there before Kim and Tannie arrived.�
All three girls held their weapons out in front of them and slowly inched forward. The music continued to emanate from the locker room....
...Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony! Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni...
The three girls arrived in the doorway. For some reason, the lights had been turned off. In the dim light they could see two sack-like objects hanging down from the ceiling. They were probably punching bags. After all, this was a locker room. The eerie music continued to float out the doorway, coming from the darkness within....
...Round and Round the Mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel! The monkey thought 'twas all in fun...
Karins, finally working up her courage, stepped through the threshold. Her voice quavering, she meekly called out �T-tannie?... Kim?.... is anybody there?�
The music abruptly stopped and there was dead silence. Then, from within the murky depths of the locker room, there came a scraping, shuffling sound. Karins, her tension rising, shouted �Stop! I warn you, I�m armed. I h-have a gun!� In fact, Karins was armed with a golf club, but the thing inside the locker room didn�t know that.
The shuffling sound stopped and there was silence again. Kathy, who had stayed outside with Nguyen, spied a light switch and stepped inside to turn it on. �Hey, here�s a light� she said. �Let�s see who is hiding in h��
�IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!� All three girls screamed in abject terror as the light revealed what lay inside.
There, suspended form the ceiling (by... guitar strings?) were the corpses of Tannie and Kim. These were what the girls had originally suspected of being punching bags. There was blood all over their bodies, and each of their faces were mangles and bruised. The eyes of the corpses were blank white, and puss seeped out of their corners. A putrid stench wafted over them and made them gag.
The girls continued screaming, and just then, before they could flee, the door slammed shut and locked. The lights went out.
Nguyen, locked outside, didn�t know what to do. She pounded on the door with all her might and called out to her comrades. Then, from within, there came a sound similar to a rotten log tearing in half, and two heavy thumps.
Then, the locker room door creaked open of its own accord. Nguyen took a frightened step backwards. Within the doorway, half shrouded in shadow, Nguyen could see the bodies of Kim and Karins. Blood was spreading out under them and soaking their clothes. It looked as though Kim�s head had been bashed in, and something seemed to be sprouting from Karins� torso. It was...
The lower half of a banjo.
Nguyen screamed and began sprinting in the opposite direction. She ran as fast as she could, her head still reeling with the sight of her murdered friends.
From within the baseball locker room, the sound of a banjo could be heard very faintly...
�...Pop goes the weasel....�
22 Students Remaining
-----------
Jon Vu had been looking for Khang for quite some time. He had been friends with Khang since elementary school, and the two of them were very close. Somehow, John believed that if he found Khang everything would turn out okay.
Jon had been hiding between the perimeter wall and the tennis courts. Here, however, his vision was limited, and he needed to go someplace where he could see the surrounding area.
He decided to go for the shed on the other side of the soccer field. John tensed his muscles and sprinted towards the safety of the lone building (John was in track and field and cross-country, so naturally he was super fast). Jon crossed the field without incident and arrived at the entrance to the shed. He hurled himself inside and landed, panting, on the floor.
It wasn�t until his breathing had subsided that he realized he was looking directly into Khang's face. �AAAAAAHHHH!� Jon let out a short, surprised scream. Then he stopped himself and said �Jeez Khang, you surprised me. Why didn�t you tell me you were here when I came through the door. I�m so relieved to see you! And why are you being so quiet....�
It was then that John noticed the ragged slashes and gaping holes running down Khang�s chest. �AHHHHHHHH!� John let out another scream, identical to the first. John, his hand shaking, slowing reached over and felt Khang�s pulse. There was none. Khang was dead.
Slowly, John rose to his feet, a furious look coming onto his childish face. John�s eyes hardened and he bared his teeth. �I swear,� John said, picking up his AK-47, �that I will not rest until I have avenged Khang�s death. I will kill Khang�s murderer, and anybody else who gets in my way!�
John surveyed the room, and spied a decapitated care bear sitting against the far wall. He noticed, carved into its stomach with crude lettering, a single word: �Spam.�
�So, it was Samantha.� thought John as he narrowed his eyes. �Time to go on the hunt.� John left the shed, machine gun in hand, in search of his prey.
22 Students Remaining
:: Student List::
:: Chapter 1 ::
:: Chapter 2 ::
:: Chapter 3 ::
:: Chapter 5 ::
:: Chapter 6 ::
:: Chapter 7 ::
:: Chapter 8 ::