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Before you begin: So, you've just beaten Final Fantasy VII for the first time. You usually don't play any videogames besides Solitaire, but the epic story, the haunting music, the FMV sequences, and the interesting cast of characters have all blown you away. Of course, one scene stands out in the mind of everyone who has played the game: the part where Sephiroth thrusts his katana through Aeris' stomach as she stands on the altar. My brother cheered at that part, but that's another story. Maybe you are the type who loves sappy romances but hates tearjerker endings; you secretly dream of marrying Prince Charming as you read Harlequin paperbacks. It is absolutely impossible, you say to yourself, that someone as good and as pure as Aeris should die and leave Cloud alone without a girlfriend. (You don't like Tifa because she is better-endowed than you, so she doesn't count). There must be some way to resurrect her. But after collecting 35 1/35 soldiers, mastering all of your materia, getting over 15000 points at the Speed Square, buying 99 Phoenix Downs, pressing an odd combination of buttons in the back left corner of the tunnel in Sector 5, talking to the kids in the church exactly seventy-six times, breeding a Rainbow Chocobo, and swimming around in your submarine for three hours, all while standing on your head and holding the Playstation controller between your teeth, you begin to suspect that the guy on the message board was making fun of you. So you decide to do the next best thing to bring her back from the dead: to write an Aeris Resurrection Fic, or ARF. You have never written fanfiction before, and your sixth grade English teacher thinks that you are "too wordy". "How can I write a decent ARF that defies the conventions of genre, without reducing the characters to cliches and boring my readers to tears?" you ask. Well...I can't help you there. But if you want to write a hack exercise in wish fulfillment that you can do in your sleep, then fear not; for your benefit, I have written a step-by-step guide to writing a bloated Aeris Resurrection Fic. Follow all of the guidelines, and in no time, you should have a story that is...well, if not likely to end up on anyone's Favourites List, then not noticeably worse than some of the other stories on fanfiction.net.
How to Write an Aeris Resurrection Fic ver. 0.6
Steps 1-3: Jycellaemynthia
~Evil Mina |