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~Hi, Craig,

I have come across your xmoonies site recently and decided to write to you. I am an x-member of the UC and I was there for 6 years. I left the church 3 years ago. I must say that leaving the church was a scary step, but one which saved me from going crazy... Crazy not because of external pressure, but because of my internal contradictions. I did it after I was matched to a guy who was somebody I could never come to respect (forget about love). I should say it was scary, as 6 years in the conditions in which you are told what to do and you don't really think yourself, you don't really make your own choices leave their traces. For the first several months I was in a vacuum, shocked by the very fact that I could do whatever I chose!!! That was something :))) I made my own choices - that was the most important part of it all. My choices may be wrong, but they are mine.

A leader once told us that if our blessing did not work out in spite of all the efforts we invested, we could be free to blame SMM for that. Cha cha cha... can you imagine living your only life for 50 years with a person you don't love and then "feel free to blame somebody for that"? That was what made me think and decide.

I read quite a few testimonies that you published on the site... You must know that the UC is rather active in the countries of the former USSR and that authorities often do a lot to prevent the spread of cults (and I don't just mean moonies).

Basically, what I want to say is that in spite of all the horrors that people tell about the movement, it was their own choice. At some time in life we all need some spiritual "food" or support or whatever you call it. Some find it in traditional religions, others look for something different. And sometimes find it in the wrong place...

The most difficult part is, once you become a member, is to understand that there is life beyond it so that you could leave the church without fear. I have several very close friends with whom we got acquainted in the UC. They are still in and they are still my closest friends, but none of them is a "real moonie", if you like. They, too, see all the drawbacks and dark sides of membership, but they still cling on to it because... they can't imagine their life otherwise. Others who left, are angry at what was done to them and even more angry because they allowed it. Anger has no meaning. As long as people are angry at their past, they can't see the future. I realise that some of them, who lost their families or friends because of the UC have a right to be angry, but... it will not help them.

I must admit, in Lithuania, there was nothing as horrible as what some of xmoonies tell you about. The beginning was very nice and pleasant and full of experience. But the end is a disaster... and it is not the problem of the teaching, it is the problem of leaders who tend to be inhuman and arrogant only because they are higher than anybody else. No initiative from ordinary members is welcome - do what you are told to do is your only option. Smart people cannot stand it. Sooner or later they all get disappointed and leave to look for something better in life.

I am sorry if my letter is not very well-organised, it is mostly a flow of thoughts that came over me after I visited the site.

Besides, another thing that I understood when I left the UC is that there will never be one single truth for all 6 billions of people on the earth. As a result, there is no sense arguing if SMM is wrong or right, if Jesus is the Son of God or not, or Buddhism is right or not...

I would like to wish to all those who left: you now have your own life, your own thoughts and your own choices. Live your life and don't poison your life with the thoughts of the past. You made a mistake (it happens to all of us), you learned from it, you will never do it again. That is what matters.

As for you site, it seems that all that people can find there is the negative info on UC, SMM etc. This makes them feel better (I admit that too). But wouldn't it be nice to have something for those who went on, who may share some insights about their present life and how they are doing. I am writing that because I and some of my friends (x-moonies) "came to the real world" with a lot of problems inherited from the style of life we had in the church. And they are very difficult to overcome. It takes time. Some people may need help with that, too, and not only proof that they did good in leaving this "monstrous church"...

I wish you all the best in your initiative and work on and off-line :)))

I really respect what you are doing and your wish to help people. I only wish there were more of "positive thinkers". It makes life so much easier, especially after such experiences.

Natalija

X-MEMBERS TESTIMONIALS - SECTION Danny Harth Gordon Neufeld Sveta Bill Taylor Brenda Henry John Guzman Bora Uzima Harlan Simantel Isshi Natalija Velikorodina Todd Harvey

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