I lost my baby on May 29th 2003 at almost 13 weeks of pregnancy. I hadn't yet told anyone about my baby; I was just 14 and scared. But I knew one thing for sure and that was that I wanted to and planned to keep my baby.
During those short 13 weeks I shared with my child I gained the strength to keep living, in the knowledge that I was not alone and that I had the most amazing reason to live; my baby.
Before and after I miscarried, my baby visited me in many dreams, this is how I know that my Angel baby was a little boy. I think of him as my Star. I have become conforted by the idea that somewhere out in that navy night sky sparkles my baby boy. He looks over me and then at night he can visit me.
If I have learnt one thing from this experience it is that you never truely get over a loss, you just learn to live without, and come to terms with it.
Writing played a huge part in my grieving process.
Something else that helped me a lot as well was drawing and painting.
Unfourtunatly for me I didn't have anyone to tell or talk to about my baby, looking back I know that this would have helped me so much. When I lost my baby people online who read my diary stopped and lost interest in me. I guess they thought that now I wasn't a pregnant teenager I didn't need any help. But this was so untrue and far from the truth.
Please get in touch with me if you have suffered a similar experience. Talking really can make a difference and it would mean to world to me to talk to someone who understands. Please sign my guestbook to tell me about you baby(s) or just to let me know that you've read about mine.
Winter's 'would-be' Birthday countdown:
This is my prgnancy and loss diary which I wrote in before and after I miscarried. I still update.
This is the full version of the above "My baby" begining with the conception right through to the present day.
Two poems that I wrote a few months after my miscarriage. They were written on two consecutive evenings.
This leads to a letter I wrote in two parts; I started it the day after I lost my baby (those words are in bold) and I finished it over one year later. It took so long to finish as it was so painful to write. I cryed continually both times.
leads to my list of links to other memorial sites
Here are some things that I have bought for Winter, in his memory.
