| One Liners The best collection to make your stomach pain while laughing |
| � A motorist confessed to a farmer, "Unfortunately I've run over your rooster - but I'll replace it, of course." "Okay," said the farmer, "Then be here tomorrow morning at four o'clock sharp.". � "Tell me Doctor," asked Santa, "When I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet? "That's because your feet aren't empty," replied the Doctor.. � Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyer hostage? They threatened to release one lawyer every hour unless their demands were net. � "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean.". � "Mr Banta, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife Rs 10,000 a month." "That's very generous and fair of you, your honour," Banta said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.". � Santa stepped on one of those penny scales that tells fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to Jeeto, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," Jeeto nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too.". � Jeeto complained to Preeto, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Preeto in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jeeto. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me.". � An English professor wrote the words "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly. The male students wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The female students wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing.". � Preeto: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." Banta: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." Preeto: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." Bannta: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Preeto: "In the pool.". � Three insane men walk out of a mental hospital hoping to escape. The first says, "If there's a high fence, we'll dig under it!" The second says, "If there's a low fence, we'll jump over it!" The third says, "Well, we're out of luck, boys, there is no fence," So instead they just went back to their rooms.. |
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