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I can't take this anymore
The doors to my life are locked
I threw away the key long ago
I sit another night
Searching for the key
The key to free all this misery
But its gone
Another red tear appears
Down my tortured skin
The key has appeared
I start to reach
I know its not really there
Its the illusion
The knife has brung
So I keep on running
Searching
For the key to my life
Another day has passed
I'm in my room again at last
I have my pen in my hand
And my weapons all around
I feel safe again
When tomorrow comes
And the life I hate returns
The only thing I long for
Is to be here
Safe in my room
Sarah, 24th August 2003
When your not around
Only thoughts of you exist
I can't let them go
Its amazing
The way I feel when you are here
The way I know you love me
The way you know I love you back
It's better than any dream
It feels more free than heaven
I have never felt like this before
Ever!
I want to be with you
Forever!
I want you by my side
I will never leave you
With all my heart
I truly Love You!
Here I am again
In this pain filled mind
Everything has been lost
Its all fallen apart
Gone!
Turned to dust!
I can feel it
Slipping through my fingers
My control has been snatched away
And all i can do now
Is just sit and watch
As warm, salty tears pour
Down my pale, ivory face
It makes me fall further into depression
Down that dreaded dark black hole
I feel I need to end it
End it here and now
All Alone
Sarah, 23rd August 2003
Hiding behind a life of hell
Falling further and further down
Getting worse by the day
Looking for more ways to feel free again
The brick wall in front of me
Is getting taller by the day
The girl inside me
Is trapped in every wayThe sadness before me
Is getting more each day
The lines I use to free myself
Are getting deeper
And they make me feel free
In a more powerful way
Nick, I thought you loved me
Nick, I thought you were there
Nick, I know I'm different
Nick, But I thought you didnt care
Nick, Please don't leave me
Nick, Not Now
Nick, I have to live with you
Nick, I cant live without you
Nick, If you leave me now
Nick, I have to die
Nick, I Love you
Nick, I'm sorry for the pain I've caused
Nick, I need you
Nick, You make me cry
Nick, You make me rip away my skin
Nick, You don't realise what you do to me
Nick, I Love You
Nick, I wont let you bring me down
The only way I can be me
Is when ive got that knife on my wrists
Its the only way i know i can be me
When crimson lines appear
All over my body
When my mind is not with me
Its the only way I can be me
When Im alone
And the blade is just there
My only friend in this world
Its the only way I can be me
16th November 2003