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There's something inside me
Trying to get out
I want this feeling
To be realised from my head
I use my skin to express how I feel I use the knife and it changes my life It is all realised
The blood washes it away
The anger dissapears
The pain makes it slowly drift away
Untitled
I never meant to do it
I didn't want this to happen
How could I ever do this?
One drunken night
And my world was no longer right
I couldn;t carry on
I had to end it
I feel like a criminal
Who should be punished for this sin
But you have to understand
I couldnt carry on
Is this feeling right?
I wanted it over
Why do I feel so sad?
This is what I wanted
To be free of this thing
I regret it now
I feel so bad
It was a life
It had done no wrong
It was me and a drunken night
The Way I Feel About Him
I was told that you loved me
You knew I loved you too
But now I have realised It was all untrue
You mean so much to me
This pain I can't bear
Everytime I see you this pain will be there
My love is so deep for you
I really thought you cared
But now I've thought that someone like you
Isn't bothered by a girl like me
Soon you'll notice how much you've upset me
And you'll notice how much I care
Because one day
I just wont be there
My World
In My World
Birds stop singing
Children stop playing
The grass no longer grows
The sky has turned to black
Big droplets of rain crash to the ground
The storm has set in
In to my world
The birds start singing
The children start playing
The grass begins to grow
The rain doesn't fall
The sun has set in
In to your world
I no longer exist
Your world is now perfect
I am a memory
I am the girl that brought you Hell
I left because of you
12th May 2003 6:45
I used to be strong
But now I am weak
I used to have fun
But now i have sorrow
I used to love you
But now you've made me hate you
I used to think how great you made my life
But now you've made it hell
I used to think we'd be friends forever But now we will never speak again
I miss you but I know its right
I now have nobody
You've taken them all away
But it doesn't matter You were there for me even though I know you didnt care
I was there for you, I DID Care
We had good times
We had bad times
And all the time I thought you cared
And you didnt
I needed you
You stabbed me in the back
I made a fool out of myself
All for you
Now you look at me
And laugh
You've made me friendless
All because you didn't tell me the truth
So I hope your happy now
Your life is good
Mine is not
You have friends
I have none
I hope Your happy
I hate you!!!
14th May 2003 8:15
Lost
Ive lost my friend
The best in the world
She made me upset
When really it was all my fault
She was right in what she did
I would have done the same
Why couldnt I see this at the time?
Now she doesnt want to know me
Now I don't want to know me
She told me to go and drop dead
I might do that instead
Instead of trying to make things right
She doesnt deserve it any more
I'll take her advice
I'll do my best to take my own life
13th April 2003 16:49
How am I going to carry on without you?
I cant imagine living without you there
I cant imagine not seeing your face
Not hearing you voice
Ever again
I don't want you to go
I need you by my side
I need you for the hard times
How can I carry on without you?
I need you in my life
Please don't leave before you have to
Don't end it all too soon
You know we all love you
We need you in our lives
I need you to get me through
I cant believe im gonna loose you
I'll never forget the happiness you have brought me
You've changed my life so much
Until I met you love was just a word
I'll remember you for the rest of my life
You mean more to me than anything in this world
Everyday when I wake up I'll be thinking of you.
The tears wont stop coming from my eyes
I'm crying for you
I'll be there for you
Like you have always been there for me
I LOVE YOU and I'll MISS YOU and think of you for the rest of my life
Untitled
I can't stop thinking
All this pain
When will it stop
When will it go away
I lie awake at night
Trying to sleep
Nothing happens
All I do is think if only they knew
The things i have been through
They would all understand
And they might give a helping hand
It all started last year
When someone messed with my heart
I cried for hours
I never felt the same again
This year it got worse
The feeling of guilt, shock and loss filled my mind
Then things got better
Only for a bit
Because last month it got worse
I lost my best friends
All because of a few stupid words
Then this urge gripped me
Told me I was Bad
This urge makes me punish me
So all the bad things are realised
Through the blood
Through the pain
The scars make me feel free
I have finally paid
But again it gets worse
I need to do it again
I turn to the knife
To express how I feel
Untitled
There's something inside me
Trying to get out
I want this feeling
To be realised from my head
I use my skin to express how I feel I use the knife and it changes my life It is all realised
The blood washes it away
The anger dissapears
The pain makes it slowly drift away
Untitled
I never meant to do it
I didn't want this to happen
How could I ever do this?
One drunken night
And my world was no longer right
I couldn;t carry on
I had to end it
I feel like a criminal
Who should be punished for this sin
But you have to understand
I couldnt carry on
Is this feeling right?
I wanted it over
Why do I feel so sad?
This is what I wanted
To be free of this thing
I regret it now
I feel so bad
It was a life
It had done no wrong
It was me and a drunken night
Save me
Get me out of here
I have cried my last tear
I am sick of living in all this fear
I'm crying out to God
Save Me from this Hell
The knife is in my hand
Save Me
The Knife is on my wrist
Save Me
The damage has been done
Save Me
The blood rushes to the ground
Save Me
Every sight and sound slowly fades
away
Save Me
Every bit of pain
Save Me
Slowly fades away
I wanted to be saved
Nobody came
I now live alone
Alone in my grave
12th May 2003 6:25pm
Suicide Is My Call
Something is changing me
Under my skin
I feel tons of hatred and regret
Calmly sat alone
I think of all this pain
Death will be my answer
End all this pain
I slowly take the knife
Slowly slashing my wrists
My fast release of regret and guilt
You and I caused
Collapsed on the floor
Alone in a river of red
Let me sleep now
Let me be free