I have only recently begun to write poetry. I have always thought of myself as uncreative, dismissing my photographic talent as more scientific than creative (shutter speeds, light meters, etc.). But then I changed my career, and my home, and practically my whole way of life, and the drive to put my feelings into words came forth. I don't know how other writers write, but when I write a poem, I am writing down an entire poem that formed often completely finished in my head. Occasionally after reading it over and over, I may change one or two words, but other than that, the whole idea of the poem just explodes inside my head, and I have to write it all down immediately. Sometimes it comes to me in the middle of the night, or in the middle of work, or school, and I have to stop whatever I am doing, and write it down before I forget any of it.
Some persons with psychic connections can write whole books in this fashion. It is as if someone is dictating to them. I don't know if this is happening, as most of these poems come from my feelings. But I would speculate that my Heart creates the poems, and my brain just works the neurons to get it onto paper (or on the web).I have written an introduction to each poem, telling some little thing about how it came about. Please click on each title to see the whole Poem.
Jesse:I wrote this poem for a very immature young man I met on the internet. I thought I was in love with him, but luckily discovered I was not. He wasn't Jesse, but I named the poem after my niece's friend whom I think is just an adorable angel on earth.
Friends: This poem is for someone that I hoped would be a permanent part of my life someday. I must have gotten over it, as I don't remember who he was.
Net-Lust: I wrote this poem for a guy I thought I was in love with. The relationship didn't work out, but it produced some great poems!!
The Visitors: I wrote this for my friend Kathy K. when I visited her and her husband Andy on their acreage in the country, where they have made themselves a new home. The day I visited, we saw so much wildlife, including a huge owl that made it known who was boss!!
Loneliness: It may seem silly or irrelevant in the future, when I have some wonderful man in my life, but when I wrote this, I was feeling the sting of separation yet again (or still!!)
Remembering David: Musings about my ex.
Born Anew: A wish to start over
Cyber: I met this hot young guy named Luke online, and we engaged in a little cyber. I had this poem formed in my head seconds later.
Coke: This poem was inspired by, of all things, a debate topic in English class. We were debating the legalization of marijuana, and cocaine was mentioned, and FLASH!! this short poem popped into my head. I had to ignore the teacher, and write it down. She didn't mind though, as I have told her my poetry comes to me in complete blocks.
Fabio: I met an incredibly hot Italian guy online from Rome, and he inspired this out of me. (R-Rated)
I Seek You: I wrote this for someone I know, have a crush on, think about a possible future together, but yet, should probably just stay quite about the whole thing.
Marc: My fascination with Asian men urges me to seek out these dark skinned hotties when I chat on icq. Last night I met a taiwanese boy named Marc, and while I was chatting with him, this poem came to me. It is one of my first "decent" rhyming verse poems.
Both: Not wanting to cause any bad feelings with any friends, I will just say this poem is only from play-thoughts in my mind, nothing meaningful. It is about haveing a crush on two guys at once (which for me, is a low number :-)
Blue: In my first year English class at Mount Royal College, there is this beautiful boy who sits in front of me. I have noticed him very often, but usually because of his incredible eyes and eyelashes. But today, he wore the tightest blue t-shirt, I couldn't help fantasize about what it felt like underneath. Driving home from school, this poem came to me.
Dusty Blue : Last night I couldn't sleep, so I went online and happened to meet this terribly charming young man from Texas. He lives in a rural, conservative community, and has not felt secure enough to come out to his family or friends yet. I wrote this poem for him, and hope that we will remain friends so that I can be here for him when he starts the journey "out of the closet."
Dancing On The Edge of the Blade: Just a poem written when feeling lonely.
The Tease: This one, I wrote for Bryan, seconds before I read his "we are not right for each other" letter Oh well, at least I got a good poem out of it!!
Borg On Bridge: My friend Travis challenged me to write a Science Fiction poem. I thought it was impossible for me. Well, it wasn't impossible!! I am a huge Star Trek: Voyager fan, so that was my base for this poem. If you don't watch Voyager, the poem probably won't make much sense, and even if you do it might just seem silly. I dedicate this to Travis, my literary mentor.
Sign of Spring : After reading a poem by Alexander Pope in English Class (An Essay on Man), this poem was written in less than 5 minutes... It might be simple, and seem contrived, but I like it :-)
Jon: I first met Jon at Starbucks, when I looked up and saw an earth Angel walking into the store. Feeling somewhat bold, I prepared a coffee and Starbucks chocolate sample for him to try. It was my excuse just to talk to him. He was so sweet that night. Much to my joy, we also had some mutual connections, and we became friends.
Jon: At Your Side: I have no story to tell with this poem, but I like it.
Jon: The Train: Jon, is becomming an obsession in my heart. With his beauty, youth, and charm, I am in awe in his very presence. I may soon have enough "Jon" poetry to write a book!! One night, while out partying with him, he decided to jump on a moving train behind the club we were at. I thought he was so fearless and sexy that all I could think about was telling him how much I loved him. But I am not as brave as he is. Yet!
Jon: Take My Hand: Jon is consuming all my waking thoughts. I have not seen him for two weeks, which is making me crazy. But meanwhile, poetry pours out of my heart for him. I swear, I'm going to be able to write my own "Book Of Jon" before this relationship starts or finishes.
Jon: The Knife: Although I got over it quickly, I was hurt simply because Jon didn't ask about me after not seeing me for 10 days. I think when I publish my first book of Poetry, I am going to dedicate it to Jon. The poetic reference to paints and masterpiece refers to Jon's awesome artistic talent.
Love Pains: This poem is based on an abusive relationship.
Beau: Beau is a friend I have known since I owned my restaurant. A mutual friend, Mike, introduced us. I have always thought Beau to be stunningly beautiful. Handsome, cute, good-looking...those are all words that don't work for Beau. "Beautiful" says it all.
Jon: Fear: I had been thinking more and more about telling Jon that I love him. Pondering what the consequences might be, this poem came to me.
Jon: My Knight: This morning, I awoke with dreams of Jon beside me. Grateful that I was able to sleep in, I drifted back to unconsciousness, and into Jon's arms.
50th Anniversary: My mom and dad celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary this year (2001), and I was unable to attend the party, so I wrote them this poem which was read during the supper.
Learning Reality: Visiting my parents just before their anniversary, I knew I would be also visiting my grandmother (nana) who is in a senior's lodge, and at 95 years old, she is starting to lose touch with reality...or at least reality as we perceive it....
Jon: The Dream: During my trip to my parents (who live in the mountains), I was looking up at the amazingly clear starry sky, and thinking about Jon, wondering what he was thinking.
Fragments: A glimpse inside the life of someone living with multiple personality disorder, and in an abusive relationship.
Straight Shooter: I was online, and this man (or boy) messaged me. The first few messages were polite and friendly (his lure), then he started verbally gay-bashing me. My first instinct was to block his messages, but I didn't. I felt that he was probably young, and just spewing crap that could have been his peer's or family's beliefs. I chatted with him long enough to instill the idea in his head that I was a human with feelings, just like him. He may have not outwardly accepted my sexual orientation, but I'm hoping my words were like a virus, eating away at, and slowly destroying his misconceptions of homosexuality. At 1:30am, just as I was falling asleep, I was jolted awake by this poem. I sent it to the kid, and he wrote back even more nasty filth to me. He told me I was a freak who wrote freaky poems. He said it was the stupidest poem he had ever written. But.... he READ it!! Mission Accomplished.
I dedicate this page to a young man
who unwittingly gave his life
to the fight for gay freedoms and rights.
May he live in our hearts forever.Matthew Sheppard
1976 - 1998
May you never die
because of whom you choose to love
This page last updated November 16, 2001
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