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This entry is about resilience, ‘falling away from yourself’, and being beaten down.

I’m too pissed off. I perceive having a fever of 102.3 and a blood pressure of 190/70. I have a migraine right now and a black and blue scar. I have brittle nails and a neediness for a relationship WITH A GIRL. I’m sure we all know this by now.

What I want now is alcohol. Something unsound...drugs,..ecstacy, lsd, etc... My brain is already being destroyed...I can’t help having such high blood pressures and migraines. I’ve already lost control of that much. What upsets me most is the effect this environment has on my will. I won’t make it to medical school... :( I have not a mother nor a father. I disown those imposters! I love them no longer. Why? You shall see.

Judy is so close minded and ignorant that it falls out through her eye sockets. She doesn’t care about my being angry at her. What kind of mother does she claim to be. I want CPS (Child Protective Services) NOW...before I do something fatal!

Edote#1 (Judy) constantly yells at me without thinking. She is not respectful of my religious beliefs. She puts on an act. She cares more about her tv than she does me, and I am no longer her daughter. She babbles about how I “should consider the consequences”....aye...these dizzy spells. I just got another one...

I cannot finsihf this entry. I must knock myself out with DAYquil...even though it is just as strong...what an exvcuse for an alcoholic substance! Goodbye.

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