(Sailor Moon, Burger King, and McDonalds copyright a lot of people who aren't me. Please don't sue.)

The Burger King at the corner of Fifth and Main, Anytown USA, was just a normal fast-food place...until the Starseed Gardeners walked in.

"I'm serious," said Sailor Chi. "These humans prefer red by far. They have no control over the colors of plants, so plants don't count."

"But haven't you noticed," countered Sailor Phi, "that green represents 'go' whereas red represents 'stop' and 'danger'?" She switched her tall green and gold staff to her other hand and walked up to the counter, Chi behind her.

"Hey," said a large and burly man. "I was heah foist!"

"And we're here now," replied Phi.

"Move aside, goils," he said, flexing large muscles. Phi and Chi looked at each other, nodded, and raised their staffs. Within four seconds some fancy moves had taken the man down and sent him on his way accompanied by plenty of bruises. The twins could have moved faster if not for the counter and cash register which they didn't want to break.

"Two orders of chicken tenders," Phi said to the boy at the cash register. The boy was a pimply teenager whose name card read "Hi! My name is TIM". He was staring at Phi. Or more accurately, at her *ahem*scanty*ahem* top.

"Pimple boy!" ordered Chi, leveling her staff at his nose. "Hurry up with those chicken tenders! Extra ketchup and fries." Tim was flustered but managed to get the order down. "And two cherry slushies, and make it snappy."

The twins took their tray and sat down. "But red means love," Chi said, "while green means sick or jealous."

"Red can also mean embarrassment or anger," noted Phi.

"Now look," snapped Chi, "many of those emotions come from actual physical reactions. Now food on the other hand..." She pulled out a fry and dipped it in the ketchup, looking Phi in the eye. "Barbecue sauce, cherries, ketchup-Aaaaah!"

"That ketchup looks green to me," said Phi with a smirk.

Standing up, Chi left the booth and stalked to the counter. Pushing a nerdy girl with glasses out of her way, she demanded of Tim, "What's with the green ketchup?"

"Choose your Ooze!" recited Tim. "For a limited time only. Ketchup-green! Barbecue sauce-green! Cherry slushies-green! Everything that's normally red-green! It's twisted and weird!"

"Ooookay. What does choozing ooze have to do with flipping red and green?" asked Chi. She returned to the booth. "I can't figure these humans out. You go try."

Phi walked up to Tim. She pushed the nerd, who was ordering, out of the way, knocking her glasses off. "What's the deal with the green and red?" she demanded of Tim.

"Choose your Ooze!" recited Tim. "For a limited time only. Ketchup-green! Barbecue sauce-green! Cherry slushies-green! Everything that's normally red-green! It's twisted and weird!"

"Whatever. So listen, pimple boy-is this whole 'twisted and weird' deal because you're trying to be 'bad'?" Tim just shrugged. "I thought so. You guys aren't 'bad'. Try betraying Galaxia. That's bad."

"What's a galaxia?" asked the nerd, adjusting her glasses.

"This galaxy is called Galaxia," said Chi, walking up and tossing Phi her staff. "Let's see...Galaxia, galaxy, Galaxia, galaxy. No connection, isn't that right pimple boy?"

"Y-yeah," said Tim, ogling the pair's legs.

"Actually," said the nerd, "this galaxy is called the Milky Way."

"Tough."

"Y-yeah," stammered Tim. "Tough."

"That's it." Chi and Phi raised their staffs and pointed them at Tim. "I guess color isn't such a big deal after all," Chi remarked.

"Good thinking, sis," answered Phi. "Should we look at his Star Seed?"

"Nah, waste of time," Chi replied.

Sailor Chi and Sailor Phi chorused, "Galactica Plants Blizzard!"

***

"You know," said Phi as they walked away from the smoking remains of the Burger King, "we never did finish our chicken tenders."

"Whoops," shrugged Chi. "Look...there's a McDonalds..."

END