The Garden of Hedon:
The Hipsters put forth plans for their little peice of paradise. The Garden of Hedon, is a Mecca of all Earthly desires set upon the backdrop of Beautiful Northern Ontario wilderness. the centrepiece of this playground being the Hipster Septagon. A structure of Eight sides serving as the main house of the Hipster Prefecture. The interior is adorn with lavish portraits of the Hipsters and their exploits. Furnished in plush velvet on dark mahogany. In the centre of the 2 storey structure would be the fireplace. A sunken living room with very very comfortable couches surround this eye piece. From this vantage point the viewer can examine the exquisite craftsmanship of the woodwork of the building's finer details and the large portraits of each Hipster in regalia.
With easy access to the sunken living space a full service bar would be located on the first floor near the kitchen. A spiral staircase located at the grand 10 foot double door entrance would bring the visitor to the second floor where he/she again would find a full service bar, but in addition, several high stakes gambling tables, ballroom complete with stage, and recording studio. The entire facility would over look a pristine and remote lake. Providing fishing, and various watersports. A pilot and float plane would be at the ready to take you further into the wilderness, to nearby lakes or closer to civilization. Those who are interested in this idea and would like to see it come to fruition, talk to Barf or Urinator they've got a napkin somewhere with all the schematics drawn up, and a break down of the capital costs. Even a sure fire way to see the investment give a very quick return (the septagon doubles as a musical retreat, recording studio, and high stakes gambling house)One of these days we'll fish the napkin out of whatever underwear drawer it is in and scan it up to this page.
The Rail Bike:
The Hipsters once attempt building a rail bike. Purpose to ride many of the barely used rail tracks of Southern Ontario. The Hipsters spent many weeks planning the construction of the bike. This is what they came up with...
The bike would have four wheels
It would have a platform with four seats
two seats facing front two back
the front seats equipped with pedals for the power element
the individuals in the back would trade up pedalling duties when necessary.
The system would be chain driven and hopefully would be equipped with several drink holders of varying sizes.
We even went as far as to measure the width of the rail tracks and ties.
The Big Shit Funeral Barge: When the Big Shit (definition) was on it's last legs a funeral barge was suggested as an appropriate form of send off. The Chariot of Champions would be guided onto a floating barge (much like a viking funeral fire boat) and the Hipster Pall Bearers would paddle it down stream as far as it would go until all at once it would sink to it's watery grave.
The Hipster SitCom:
Just give us the pen and paper and we'll write you the best and funniest sitcom you've ever seen! Based mainly on the exploits, adventures, and misadventures of the Hipsters. Hell there is enough material there to do a dozen miniseries' and a dozen sitcoms!
The Hipster Musical:
O' Hipster. All about a kid who drinks too much (or so he believes) and is torn between two women. Rub n' Tug Girl and the Girl of His Dreams. He spends the majority of the play dating this woman who is the token Olivia Newton John "Grease" girl of his dreams and he tries to win her heart. He soon realizes that the only way he can accomplish this is to clean up his act..... In the end he goes with the Dirty Rub n' Tug Girl that puts out, and continues drinking.(Rub n' Tug Girl Song)
The cast would include a special appearance from the hipsters as the kid's bar mates who give him constructive advice when needed. The show, highly choreographed, and staged would be certain to entertain the whole family!
Hateful Ted:
A Grateful Dead Cover Band
A Great Bar Rule:
The "Don't Talk Just Drink" Bar. No speaking takes place in this bar. Just a bunch of drunks watching T.V. and looking at eachother, and getting the drinking done, because afterall talking just slows yer' drinking down!
A Great Gay Bar Name:
The Vidal Saloon
A Great Bar Amusement Idea:
The Drunk room. Drunks who had long drank past their limit would be placed in a room where everyone in the bar could watch as they are outfitted with giant padded outfits and fight eachother. Puking and all.
Hipster Dating Video:
Hipster 'Thinks He's Funny' planned to film his failed attempts at dating. Basically the majority of the film would be him sitting at home waiting for a phone call. Thinks He's Funny would then bring the camera man along with him on all his dates and the camera would occasionally follow him down the streets of Toronto as he desperately asks girls to date him. Shoot down after shoot down the film vividly depicts the pathetic life of being single and 'Thinks He's Funny' in Toronto.Who is Thinks He's Funny?