i feel pretty

i know i set the alarm for 9...

there have been nights where i've gone directly to bed in full face and dressed. i don't really recommend it (and my skin is currently paying for my laziness/bad habits/erratic sleep schedule), but we can all remember an occasion where we've bone directly from a bar/club/party/night out to bed (not necessarily alone). which inevitably leads to oversleeping when you're supposed to be somewhere else. this is the emergency broadcast system with a quick, easy, and temporary fix. i've been in the exact same situation (and well within recent memory). it's called i'm an idiot, and i'll wake up with less than twenty minutes to be somewhere (usually work). which leaves enough time to drive there. no shower, no makeup, no primping. nothing. and i have to be around people, so i can't look all scary. this is how i manage after a night of Cuervo and karaoke.

hair

my hair is super-short (not even chin-length) and really really thick (yay for ethnicity!). so i tend to just shake it about and work the spiky, rock n roll thing. i'm also a big fan of camouflage. bandanas, cute hats, headbands, etc. this part is easy. all you need is a hairbrush (or comb or pick or fingers) and a little product. your hair will probably smell like a bar; fixable by running a little drop of scented lotion between your hands and working it into the ends. my friend lauren has a really good trick: to fix the little flyaways you get around your face, smooth them down with a chapstick (bonus: it smells good too).

clothes

quickest fix--change your shirt. unless your pants/skirt are memorable (or gross). then change those too. next time you go out, remember to layer. that way you essentially have on multiple outfits in one. what works for me is the fact that i tend to wear a lot of black, so it all pretty much looks the same. if the option is available, swipe a sweater or button-down. easy to accessorize and probably looks better on you anyhow. there have been many a morning where i've made time to run upstairs (i work in a mall) and buy a shirt for cheap. desperate times, right?

hygiene

personally, i can get away with wearing boy's cologne. not everyone is as cool as me. if you don't have deodorant, skip it. but not forever. stop somewhere when you get a break and pick up some suave or something. if you are female, don't use his deodorant (unless it's baby powder or some other effeminate scent...p.s. if he has one, he's either married or gay). it's not sexy. brush your teeth!!! i cannot stress the importance here. invest in baby wipes too. they take off makeup and dirt, and still smell pretty and don't require a moisturizer afterwards.

makeup

this is where it gets difficult. i don't wear much makeup anymore, so it's not much an issue.

lips: if your lips were red (or any other bright/deep color) clean up smudges, blend in a little chapstick, and blot. instant daytime lips.

eyes: my new favorite thing is the smoky eye. partly because it takes seconds to do, is virtually idiot-proof, switches from day to night with ease, and still looks okay the day after. all you need to do is clean up the smudges with a q-tip, maybe fill in the spots where it's worn too thin, and go. i do this to myself all the time. for day, i go with some grey shadow, no liner or mascara. for night i add some black. and of course a little glitter for drama. if i do liner, it's pencil only (liquid is too precise) and black mascara.

face: cover the dark circles, handle the emergency pimple, fill in the eyebrows, throw on some chapstick. the end.

later that evening...

the first thing i tend to do when i get home is get a shower. the second thing is to eat something reasonably healthy. and vow to drink at least a gallon of water over the next 12 hours (means i pee a lot, but my skin ends up looking incredible). third, go check out the damage in the mirror. take off any and all makeup. i put on a clay mask and i-gels and just kinda relax for a few minutes. once i take the mask off, i'll steam my skin for about 5 minutes (after all the hell i put myself through, it tends to be a lavender steam). then i moisturize. put a little dab of tea tree oil on any and all pimples (smells like eucalyptus--nauseating but effective). and i make it an early night. put some bjork or incubus on the stereo and sleep. the next morning, get up early. go for a walk or a jog (sucks, but i must atone). do yoga (also kinda sucks). bellydance (this is the fun part of the day). eat a good meal for a change. use a gentle exfoliant. and carry a little pack of baby wipes or face wipes with me at all times!