We all know that Rod likes to put it about a lot, and he was a TV slag. He put it about more times than Trevor MacDonald on a whores 'E' tablet! And that's being around a lot!!! Anyway, during the This Morning With Richard Not Judy years Lee and Herring took it upon themselves to interview the man with the plan, The goof that feel off the roof - Sir Rodney Hull. Here is that said interview and many, many more pictures of the Ginger twat.
RICH Thanks for agreeing to the interview Rod.
ROD I am Rod Hull.
RICH I know.
ROD I am him.
RICH I never said you weren't.
STEW I can't believe we're going through this again. On the last show of the last series we conclusively proved that you were the false Rod Hull and the other Rod Hull was real.
ROD No, on the last show of the last series we conclusively proved that I was the real Rod Hull and the other Rod Hull was false.
STEW No, look at this photo. Which one of these is you Rod?
ROD
Well as anyone can see, that is me at the back with my two real hands on the
false Rod Hull's shoulders. He is clearly the false Rod because I am touching
him where his BCG should be, but look. No pain. His arm is as false as the
night.
RICH That's good enough for me, Stew. I understand that you started in show biz alongside the pop combo, the Beatles.
ROD Before I answer that could I just point out that I am Rod Hull.
RICH Yes of course.
ROD Good because I am him, me. I am Rod Hull. Anyway I, Rod Hull remember, started in show biz in 1962. Me and Emu, who you'll remember was my partner at the time, were just starting out together. We were booked to appear at the Star Club in Hamburg.
RICH Wow! That's where the Beatles performed at exactly the same time.
ROD Emu and me were doing quite a serious act back then, reciting poetry, doing protest songs.
RICH
What about the Beatles? Did you meet them? What were they like?
ROD Be quiet Richard. I am trying to tell my anecdote. One night me and Emu
were in between shows and were exhausted. And one of the strippers said she
had something that would perk us up. Of course it was jelly. I'd never seen
anything like it, wobbling and shiny.
RICH That's very interesting. What about the Beatles though?
ROD
Shut up! I'm talking about Jelly! I gobbled all of the jelly up using this
real arm to scoop it into my mouth. It was delicious. It really pepped me
up. Emu had some too. It drove him wild. When we got on stage, a drunken sailor
was heckling us and the jelly filled Emu attacked the sailor, grabbing him
in the face and genitals with his sharp bird beak. I tried my best to hold
him back, but he was too strong... The audience loved it. The more I struggled
with the deranged emu the more they laughed. The rest of course is history.
RICH What about the Beatles?
ROD I have done the anecdote I was obligated to say and that is all I shall say.
RICH Well .. did the Beatles like jelly?
ROD I said I have done my one annecdote. Now ... where's my JEEELLLLY!
RICH You didn't even mention the Beat....
ROD Where is my jelly?
STEW Here it is Rod.
STEW
GIVES HIM RED JELLY
ROD What is the meaning of this? I asked for green flavoured jelly. This is red flavour.
STEW Sorry, Smiley's cafe only does red jelly.
ROD The contract here in my pocket.... (HE TRIES TO GET IT OUT WITH HIS REAL HAND BUT FOR SOME REASON IS UNABLE TO DO IT. RICH TRIES TO GET IT OUT) I can do it. (HE USES HIS OTHER REAL HAND TO MANOUEVRE HIS REAL HAND AND GETS OUT CONTRACT) The contract quite clearly states that I would be paid with a bowl of green jelly.
STEW Yes, Rod, but the contract also states that you would earn your green jelly with an annecdote about the Beatles.
ROD I did! I want my green jelly.
STEW No, Rod, listen. Your annecdote was about yourself, not the Beatles. You have failed to uphold your end of the contract and legally I am within my rights to not give you any jelly at all.
ROD I want green jelly.
STEW Listen Rod. It's red jelly or nothing. Do you understand?
ROD (CREST FALLEN) I'll have the red jelly.
STEW What did you say Rod? I can't hear you.
ROD I said I'll have the sh*tt*ng red jelly
RICH Rodney Stephen Hull, I can scarcely believe my ear. You're a family entertainer, you shouldn't use language like that.
ROD I'm on the internet now. I can say what the fuck I like.
RICH
Is there another Rod Hull and Emu tour of the Berlin club scene in the pipeline?
ROD Noooooo!
STEW Rodney Hull. Thank you.
ROD
I am Rod Hull. I am him. I am
