| Bob's Home Page |
| Number Ten |
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| Is The Human Race Doomed ? |
| These are taken from actual label instructions on consumer goods |
| Product will be hot after heating |
| Do not iron clothes on body |
| On childrens cough medicine Do not drive car or operate machinery after taking this medicine |
| On sleep aid Warning: may cause drowsiness |
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| On Brands of Christmas lights ; For indoor or outdoor use only.. |
| On packet of peanuts ; Warning : contains nuts. |
| On a childs superman costume ; Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. |
| On a Swedish chainsaw; Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals |
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| More History. The UK circa 1500 |
| Lead cups were used to drink ale and whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of "holding a wake". |
| England is old and small, and they started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and reuse the grave. In reopening these coffins one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised that they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their waist and lead it though the coffin and up though the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. hence "on the graveyard shift" they would know that someone was ".saved by the bell "or he was a" dead ringer" |
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| And Finally some Odds and End's |
| All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. |
| In the 1960's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal |
| How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? |
| Always put the right leg into trousers first in order to start the day on the right foot. |
| Whoever made the alphabet was wrong because u and i should be together. |
| Why did 19 blondes go to see an X rated film because the sign said 18 not allowed. |
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