Another Goo Story
By: Rebekah Parham
-39-
Zack had left me a message on my machine that he had to go out of town for the next month on business. I still had a lot to do for the wedding so I kept pretty busy. Two months had past since I had seen John no matter how tired I was at the end of the day, when I closed my eyes at night all I saw were images him. I had trouble sleeping and began getting very pale and tired.
"Just got back from my last fitting for my dress" Reagan said coming into my office. "Man, you look horrible."
"Thanks"
"Are you feeling all right?"
"Yeah, I just haven't been getting much sleep lately." I told her.
Reagan walked over to my desk and picked up a bottle of Pepto Bismal, "Upset stomach?"
"I must be nervous about the wedding" I said. "How did your dress fit?"
"Fine. I love the shade of blue you picked."
"I thought you would. I go for my last fitting for my dress Monday at 5:00. Are you still going with me?" I asked
"Yep. I will meet you there. Try to be on time" she said playfully.
"I always do"
"Whatever" she said rolling her eyes. " I am going to go back to work. Why don't you go home and rest a little while?"
"Maybe later. I have got way too much to do right now." I told her. I knew if I went home I would have time to think, and that was the worst thing for me to do.
The rest of the week and weekend flew by. Before I knew it I was walking into Belinda's dress shop five minutes after five. "You're late" Reagan said as I walked in the door.
"Sorry" I said to both Reagan and Belinda. Belinda gave me my dress and I slipped my shirt and skirt off and pulled the dress over my head. "Could someone please zip me up?" I asked
"That's why I'm here" Belinda said coming to zip my dress. She got about half way up and stopped, "Kayla have you gained some weight? This dress fit you perfectly two weeks ago."
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised. In my line of work I don't really have time to eat a sensible meal everynight. Lately I have been busier that usual."
"It's no problem. I can let the dress out some. It wouldn't hurt you to gain a little weight." Belinda said. I stepped out of the dress and Belinda started measuring me. "I will need to see you again after I finish it."
"No problem. When would you like me here?"
"How about day after tomorrow?"
"Sounds good to me. Same time?"
"You got it." Belinda said as I put back on my clothes.
Reagan and I walked out of the shop together. "Are you still not getting any sleep?" Reagan asked
"Not a whole lot."
"Maybe you should go to the doctor."
"And tell him what, that I'm getting married and I have too much to do so I can't sleep? I don't think so."
"Ok, you are obviously not getting my hints so I will just come out and ask you, are you pregnant?"
"Reagan, you know that's not possible."
"It may not be as impossible as you think. They tell girls all the time that they can't have children and then years later have kids. Have you and Zack had unprotected sex lately?"
"No, Zack and I haven't had sex in almost five months. It was never one of his strong points." I said looking in the window of an antique store while we were stopped.
"Kayla, what about with John?" Reagan asked slowly.
I turned to say no, but then it hit me. We didn't have a condom and I told him not to stop. Oh God, could it possibly be true?
"Kayla, did you?" Reagan asked again.
I nodded my head. This is what I had wanted for so long and it was John's baby. Elation hit me when I looked to Reagan, "Reagan, do you think I could really be pregnant?"
"Well, there is only one way to find out." she said taking my hand and pulling me into the drug store. We went back to Reagan's apartment to take the home pregnancy test. After two minutes I sent Reagan into the bathroom to look at the test. I was too nervous. She came back out with a smile on her face, "Congratulations mom" she said. We both ran to each other and hugged. I had wanted so long to have children, but they told me it would never be possible. "Are you going to tell John?" Reagan asked.
"Yes, but I want to make absolutely sure that I'm pregnant first. I will go to the doctor in the morning."
-40-
Reagan and I were at the doctor's office before they even opened the next morning. We sat in the waiting room and were the first people called back. I wanted Reagan to be in the room with me. The doctor did a full pelvic exam. "Kayla I see from your records that you had surgery on your uterus several years ago" Dr. Boyd said.
"Yes, they told me I would never be able to have children, but they were wrong weren't they doctor. I am pregnant." It was said more as a statement than a question.
"Yes, Kayla, You are pregnant." Before he could say anything else Reagan and I jumped to our feet and hugged each other. We were so happy that we barely heard the doctor say he wasn't finished talking. We let go of each other and turned our attention back to him. He looked at Reagan and then to me, "Maybe we should talk alone for a minute."
"No, I want Reagan to stay." I said.
He got a very serious look on his face when he said, "Kayla, you have a lot of scar tissue on your uterus, and the fact that you are even pregnant is a miracle."
"I know. I have wanted children for so long but never thought it would be possible."
I a somber tone, Dr. Boyd said, "Kayla, it's not possible."
I looked to Reagan and back, "But you just said that I was pregnant."
"You are pregnant, but you will never be able to carry this child to term." he said slowly.
I sat down in the chair and started shaking my head. "You just said it was a miracle that I was even pregnant, then it will be a miracle that I can have this baby."
"No, Kayla, that is not possible."
"What are you saying, that my baby will die? There has to be a way, something you can do...." tears were already streaming down my face. Reagan had placed her hand on my should. I didn't look up but she was crying too.
He walked around his desk and got on his knees in front of me. "Kayla, your uterus was sliced into and there is no way it could withstand the weight of a baby. If you take the chance of trying to carry this baby to term; you will not only loose the baby, you will loose your own life too."
Reagan had been quiet until now, "She will die?"
"Her uterus will rupture causing her to bleed internally. Ninety percent of the time this happens we loose both the child and the mother" he said to Reagan. "Kayla, I am so sorry. I wish that I would have been able to tell you something better. You need to set up an appointment."
"To kill my baby?" I choked out.
"The longer you wait to do this, the more at risk you are putting your life in." he said.
I stood up at walked out of the office. Reagan turned back to Dr. Boyd after watching me leave, "Is there no possible way? A specialist she can see? Is there anything we can do?"
He looked at Reagan with sympathy in his eyes, "Her body was not made to have children, and as small as she already is, it wouldn't take much for her to bleed to death. If you want to help your friend, you can convince her to have this operation. If you don't, she will surely die."
Reagan nodded at the doctor and walked out to find me. Reagan came into the waiting room to find Kayla sitting in one of the chairs still crying. "Kayla, did you make the appointment?"
"How can I kill a child that could have a chance to live?"
"You heard what the doctor said, this baby doesn't have a chance. If you risk this you will die too," Reagan pleaded.
"Then that is a risk I will have to take."
-41-
It had been sixty days since I had seen the doctor except for check ups. During those sixty days I told Zack everything that had happened. He was angry at first but when I told him about the baby he became more understanding. Zack told me he always sensed something between me and John by the way we looked at each other. We agreed to call of the wedding, although Zack said he was still willing to marry me. He still came around and called to know if I needed anything for me or the baby.
I tried avoiding Reagan as much as possible for the first month but then I gave up. It was very difficult when she just wouldn't stay gone. But I was grateful that she was with me. She called me everyday to see how I was doing, she made sure I ate and slept. She had practically moved in with me because she refused to let me stay by myself.
Reagan only brought up John one time. She asked if I was ever going to tell him. I made her promise me that she would never tell John I was pregnant until after the baby was born. Then I planned to tell him myself. She would have argued with me, except that she thought it would make me upset so she finally swore on my baby's life that she wouldn't tell him.
We had started shopping for baby supplies. We bought a crib, swing, bottles, diapers, and enough clothes to last until the baby's first birthday. Reagan and I had the most horrible time trying to put together that baby bed. Finally we gave up and hired someone to do it for us. Every night I would walk into the room we had set up for the nursery and sit in a rocking chair and play the Goo Goo Dolls CDs. I hadn't told John about the baby because I wanted to make sure it was all right before I got his hopes up. It was hard to go through this without him, but I knew it was for the best.
I woke up one night with a excruciating pain in the bottom of my stomach. I sat up in the bed and screamed. Reagan was in my room in no time. "What is it?" she asked flipping on the light. I had laid back down and curled myself into the fetal position. "Kayla, I'm calling an ambulance. You need to go to the hospital."
The entire ride to the hospital Reagan held my hand. "You're going to be fine. We are almost there." I heard her say over and over.
When they took me in the hospital I was rushed into the prenatal care unit. "Please miss, you have to wait out here until we have examined her" the nurse told Reagan. They finally put me in a room four hours later.
"Are you the lady with Kayla Jones?" the doctor asked Reagan.
"Is she all right?"
"She has begun bleeding from her uterus. If we perform the operation now, she could have a chance to make it."
"So what are you waiting for? Do it." Reagan screemed at the doctor..
"She made it very clear that she didn't want an abortion. And unless we can get her consent or the father of the child's, then there is nothing we can do."
"If you have the father's consent then you can perform the surgery?" Reagan asked
"Usually it's not the father's choice, but in the cases where the mothers life is at risk we let him decide for her."
"Where is Kayla now?"
"We put her in a room, room 530. We gave her something to help her rest, so she will be asleep for several hours."
"Thank you" Reagan said running down the hall. She didn't wait for the elevator, she ran down five flights of stairs. She reached the street just to remember that her car was still at the apartment. There was a taxi pulling away from the curb when she ran in front of it. "Please take me to Warner Brother studios and step on it." she said from the back seat.
Reagan handed the cab driver some money and got out without waiting for her change. She ran into the front of the building and was heading for the door to the studios when a security guard stopped her, "Excuse me only personnel people are allowed beyond this point."
"It's an emergency"
"Who are you looking for?"
"The Goo Goo Dolls. They are suppose to be recording here today" Reagan said in a hurry.
"Yeah, they were"
"Were?" Reagan asked becoming edgy.
"They left about fifteen minutes ago. They were going to get something to eat, but they should be back...." but Reagan didn't hear him, she was already out the door. She knew where they always went to eat when they were recording. It was a small karaokee bar called Dimples. It was only about a block from the studio.
She burst through the door of the bar, looking around for the guys. She saw them sitting at a table in the corner. She ran over to them almost knocking down a waitress that stepped in her way. "Reagan, what are you doing here?" John said..
"John you have to come with me" she said pulling him by the arm.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't have time to explain but you have to come with me now."
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why." John said pulling his arm away from her. "Just calm down and tell me what's wrong."
"I can't calm down, Kayla is going to die" She screamed so loud that it drew everyone's attention.
John grabbed Reagan by the shoulders, "What are you talking about? Why is she going to die?"
Kayla started to tell him everything but then remembered her promise to Kayla. "I can't tell you."
"What do you mean you can't tell me? If something is wrong with Kayla then you have to tell me." he said shaking her.
Robby come over and pulled John's hands off of Reagan. "Can you tell me?" he asked.
Reagan pulled Robby to the side and explained to him everything that had happened over the past few months and what the doctor had told her. He turned around and told John. He was out the door before Robby even finished. With Reagan and Robby close on his behind.
They made it to the hospital in ten minutes. John jumped out of the car before Robby had stopped. When Reagan and Robby got to Kayla's room they found John sitting beside Kayla's bed watching her sleep. No one said anything, they all just stood there until the doctor came in, and walked outside the room so not to disturb Kayla. "I assume you are the father?" he said looking toward John.
"Yes. Doc, how bad is it? Will she die?" John asked worried.
"Like I told her friend here, her best chance is to have the procedure done. The bleeding hasn't gotten so bad that we can't stop it yet. But if she waits much longer she won't have any hope of living."
John looked to Robby and then to Reagan. "What do I do?"
Just then the nurse came out to tell everyone, "She is awake."
John walked in and Reagan started to follow, but Robby stopped her. "Reagan, this is between them."
"Robby I can't loose her," Reagan said finally breaking into tears. "She is all I have."
"You won't," Robby said wrapping her in his arms so she could cry on his shoulder.
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