Another Goo Story
By: Rebekah Parham
-28-
I hadn�t seen Zack in two weeks, and I wouldn�t take his phone calls. Reagan was getting suspicious, and when two dozen red roses arrived from Zack and I threw them in the trash, she finally wanted to know why. "What is going on with you and Zack? You haven�t spoken to him is weeks."
"We had a fight. No biggy."
"Are you going to call off the wedding?"
I looked up at her and saw the optimistic look on her face. "I don�t think things have gotten that bad yet."
Taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of my desk she said, "Yet? Meaning things could get worse and you could call it off?"
"Reagan..."
"Come on Kayla you know he is not the right person for you. You need someone who is going to stand up to you. Someone you can fight with. Someone like..."
Holding my hand up to silence her next word, I said, "Don�t say that. Don�t even think it."
"Why not? I know you are. This little tiff you and Zack are having has something to do with Robby coming here last week doesn�t it?"
"Yes," was all I said to her.
With a mixture of curiosity and anger, Reagan said, "Kayla, what is up with you? You always use to tell me everything. Now it seems that you hold everything inside."
"What are you talking about? I do tell you everything."
"No, you don�t. Why didn�t you tell me that you had seen John again?" she asked
I looked up, "How did you know I had seen him?"
"I didn�t until just now," she said scrambling out of the over stuffed chair. "So were the same old sparks there between you two?"
"What sparks?"
Rolling her eyes she said, "Oh you know those sparks that kept you two at each others throats every moment of every day. I never understood why you two didn't just fuck and get it over with. You were both dying for it since the day you met."
"Aren't you the one always on my case about my language? What would your mother think if she could here her good little Catholic girl talking like that?" I said shaking my finger at her.
"Stop trying to change the subject," Reagan said. She started to continue, but then saw how nervous I was about talking about sex with John. She took in a deep breath and said , "You did sleep with him didn't you?" I didn't answer her. I just continued writing the invoice I was working on when she came in. "Why didn�t you ever tell me what happened between you two. I know at the beginning it may have been hard for you to tell me, but Kayla, it�s been five years."
Seeing that my best friend was right I stood up and walked around my desk, and propped myself on the edge of it "Reagan, I don�t mean to keep secrets, its just that some things are hard for me to tell you."
"But I thought we could always tell each other everything," she said half heartedly.
I ran my fingers through my hair and looked up toward the ceiling. "The night that I told John I was leaving we did have sex."
"You did?" Reagan almost shouted gleefully. "You and John made love and you never told me?"
"I don�t think you would call what happened between us that night love. We were both angry and things ended very badly afterwards."
"Well, what happened?"
I didn't have trouble remembering the events of that night, they had been permanently tattooed on my brain. "We went to Breakdown, you know the club on..."
"I know where the club is," she said trying to get me to hurry the story along.
"Anyway, we went there to talk. I told him about my grandfather. He was very sympathetic until I told him that I had asked Zack to find them another manager, then he just sort of lost it. He got angry with me and thought I was deserting them. He walked out of the back exit into the ally. I didn't want to leave things like that between us so I followed him. Once we were outside I told him that I thought of him and Robby and George all like brothers. You know cause we fight but we always care about each other. He told me he didn't want to be my brother and kissed me."
"Oh my God, that is so sweet. I always knew he loved you."
"He doesn't love me. I just torchured him until he couldn't take it anymore."
"So how did you go from a kiss in the ally to having sex?"
Letting out all of these feelings that I had kept inside for so long was tuffer than I thought it would be, but I knew Reagan deserved to know. "Well, once the kiss started neither one of us could stop it."
"You mean you guys had sex in an ally?" Reagan asked astounded.
"Yep"
"Well, when you guys are ready, you are ready and nothing is going to stop you," Reagan said comicly. " What was it like?" she asked looking interested. "You know, was it at least good?"
"It was very good until we realized what we had done. Then we didn't want to look at each other," I said as a shiver ran down my spine.
"No wonder you didn�t wanted to come back to California. You didn�t want to risk the chance of running into him again. I am so sorry that I dragged you back here."
"No, I glad that you did. If you hadn�t I would still be living in that small town hating every minute of my life."
"Are you sure?" she asked as I handed her a Kleenex.
"Yes, I sure. And there is another reason I�m glad we are here."
"Well, you have kept enough from me, so spill it."
"If we had never come here then John and I would have never made our peace over what happened between us. He had been carrying around the same guilt that I had all these years."
"I�m not surprised. I could tell he was already head over heels for you the first time I saw you two together."
Standing up, I picked up the trash can and held it out to Reagan for her to throw in the Kleenex she had just used. "What you saw was our temperaments toward each other" I said setting down the trash can.
"Is that what you have been telling yourself all these years? Good Lord, Kayla, for someone that is so smart, how can you not see what is right in front of you?"
We both jumped as the door to my office came crashing open and Zack came striding in. "Why won�t you talk to me?"
"Zack, now is not a good time. I am very busy."
"Too busy to spare five minutes with your soon-to-be husband?"
"You only ever bring up the fact that we are engaged is when it's convenient for you. Any other time I am considered a business partner."
"This temper tantrum of yours has gone on long enough. It's time that you calm down and face the inevitable. You're coming home with me", he said in a dry tone.
My blood had begun to boil over that last statement. I walked over to him and said, "Don't you ever tell me what I'm going to do. And don't you ever talk to me as if I were a stupid child, do you understand me?"
"All right. I'm sorry. What can I do to show you that I don't want to loose you over this?"
"You know what you have to do Zack. Call the vultures off John and Robby."
"Kayla, I can't do that."
"Then we have nothing left to say?" I said pushing him outside my office and slamming the door in his face.
-29-
John, Robby, Mike, and Reagan were all sitting in the floor of my living room as they had been every night this week. Tonight, I had brought along a lawyer friend of mine that had volunteered to help the guys. His name was Peter Paterno, and he handled cases like this all the time. In fact that was how we had first met. He was defending a client of DreamMaker about a year ago.
"I talked with Mental Boys today," Peter said reaching into his briefcase. "They are trying to come up with a compromise that will keep us out of court."
"That's good right?" Reagan asked.
"Yes, that's what we are hoping for. If they will make a deal then we won't have to go to court and waste these boys hard earned money on legal fees" Peter answered.
"But what if we do end up going to court. What is that going to cost us?" John asked.
"It really depends on how long Mental Boys drag it out. It could be anywhere for a few hundred to a couple hundred thousand dollars."
"Man, we don't have that kind of money. We still haven't gotten paid for our record sales yet." Robby said wading up a piece of paper.
"Don't worry about that now. You just need to concentrate on your new album. That way it will show them that you guys are more that just a one hit wonder," Peter told them getting up to leave. "Kayla, I will call you when I know more" he said walking out the door.
Reagan had begun to pick up plates and glasses that were sitting on the floor where everyone had eaten earlier. Mike helped her carry them all into my kitchen.
Walking over to the window, John looked out at the ocean which could clearly be seen from the front of my living room. He opened the sliding glass door and said, "I need some air."
Robby was getting up to follow him but I beat him to it. I had to run to catch up with him. "Do you have to walk so fast?" I yelled.
He slowed his pace just a little. "Not my fault you're so damn short," he snapped.
"Well, I don't recall me having too much say in the matter either," I snapped back at him.
We walked about five more minutes in silence before he said, "Are you just here to watch me, or are you going to say something?"
"I figure you would let me know when your ready to talk about it," I told him putting my arms around me to ward off the night breeze. I had rushed out after him so fast that I didn't even pick up my jacket.
"How are we suppose to concentrate when we could loose everything we have worked for in one instant?"
I crossed the distance to where John was standing and placed my hand on his shoulder, "That's not going to happen. I won't let it happen."
"Do you know something we don't?"
"No, I just have faith in you and I know things are going to work out."
"I wish I could be as optimistic as you are," he said turning away from the ocean to look at me. When he saw that my hands and legs were quivering, he said, "Your shivering."
"Yeah, well, in case you missed it, it's kind of chilly out here."
"Well, why did you come out here without a coat?" he asked. "Go back inside," he ordered.
"No, I'm not going back in until you do. If your going to stand out here and freeze I guess I will tough it out with you."
"The cold helps me clear my head," he said coming to stand behind me. He put his arms around me and bent down to rest his chin on the top of my head. I wasn't prepared for him to be so close to me, so when he put his hands on my stomach I almost jumped out of his arms. He immediately took his hands away, "I'm sorry, I just thought I could keep you from catching your death from a cold."
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump, it's just that I wasn't expecting that. Right now any warmth would be welcome....even if it comes from you," I teased as I pressed my back against his chest and he wrapped his arms back around me. "You know it wasn't so long ago that you would have let me run down Broadway in my underwear in the middle of December if you thought I would freeze to death," I said reffering to the animosity that use to be between us.
He laughed, "I probably would have paid to see it, or spanked you again for it."
I looked up at him at little embarrassed, "You were just dying to bring that up again weren't you?"
"Well, it's not everyday that I get to have a beautiful girl laying across my lap for me to spank. I must admit I rather enjoyed putting you in your place."
"I just bet that you did, but if you will recall it wasn't long after you warmed my back side that I put you right back in your place," I said alluding to the kiss we shared that night.
He grinned, "Can you believe that we did all that stuff? Seems like it was such a long time ago."
"Maybe we have finally grown up," I said looking into his eyes.
"You think?" he asked. "Nah, that's not it. I think we just enjoyed driving each other crazy."
"You are such a liar."
What?" he asked.
"You hated it when I would tease you. You always thought I was being a bitch."
"Of course I thought you were a bitch because you knew how to make me want you without ever surrendering. You were the only person that I could never have, but the one I always wanted more than anything and it drove me crazy."
"But then you did finally have me, so you got me out of your system," I said, wishing that I didn't want him right now as much as he use to want me.
"I guess," he said letting the subject hang in the air. We stood there just looking out at the ocean. It was so peaceful that I was almost alseep when John said, "Where are we going to get the money for the legal bills?"
"Don't worry about that," I told him snuggling into his warmth. "If it comes to it and you need the money, I will put DreamMaker up as collateral."
Swinging me around in his arms, he said, "You will do no such thing. We are not both going to loose our dream over this."
"John, your dream was my dream for a while. Watching you guys mature and develop into the musicians that you are, was like watching my own children grow."
"Forget it Kayla, your not going to do it," he said stepping back
"It's my company and I can do whatever I want with it." I said obstinately.
Kayla...." John started to argue.
"It isn't going to do you any good to argue with me, John, because you know first hand that in the end I always get my way."
"God, were you always this stubborn?" he said smiling down at me.
"Probably," I said realizing how close we were. I could feel his breath on my skin. The warmth of his body was still encircling mine. He started running his finger through my hair. Nervously, I licked my lips. That may have not been the smartest thing to do, because that drew his attention to my mouth.
Before we both knew it our lips were touching. I wasn't sure whose heart was pounding louder, his or mine. I took my arms from around his waist and put them around his neck. A desire that had been dormant for years exploded out of control between us. I relaxed into his arms as his mouth slowly moved over mine. It was gentle at first then it became more fevered. As our tongues explored each other, his hands found their way under my shirt. As cold as it was outside I couldn't believe that his hands were that warm. He eased his hands up and down my back.
It took me a moment for me to realize that he had released me. Both of our breaths were now coming in ragged gasps. "We can't do this here, not like this," John said fighting to get his breath regulated.
"Why not?" I asked, trying to reach up and kiss him again.
He pulled back saying, "We did this wrong the first time. I don't want you to have any regrets this time around."
We were still standing there staring when I heard a familiar voice call out my name. I turned to see Zack walking straight towards me. "Kayla, what are you doing out here?" he asked then turned to look at John. He gave him a curt nod and put his arm around me. I was still gazing at John. Zack looked from one of us to the other. When I still didn't say anything, Zack said, "Are you still giving me the silent treatment?"
It registered that someone was talking to me. I quickly turned my attention to Zack. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see if we could try to work thing out between us. I have talked to the other partners they are willing to settle on a deal. That's what you wanted isn't it."
"Yes," I murmured. John was already walking back to the apartment.
"Kayla, I want us to stop putting off the wedding and do it. Anyway you want will be fine."
"What?" I asked trying to concentrate on what he was saying, but I wasn't having very much luck.
"Lets not talk about it now, well discuss it over breakfast," he said walking me to his car.
The car ride to Zack's apartment was spent in total silence. When we finally reached his place he turned to me and said, "Kayla, I said I was going to fix things for them. Can't we forget this now?"
Still trying to focus I mumbled, "I guess so"
I could tell that Zack was in a mood to fool around, which didn't happen very often. I wasn't ready to deal with him now after what had just happened between me and John. "Zack, I have a headache," I told him, saying the first thing that came to my mind.
"Ok, I'm going to bed," he said not to disappointed. Any other time a man would have responded like that, I would have been upset, but tonight it was a blessing. "Are you coming?" he asked.
"I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to take something for my headache."
I sat on the couch replaying the events of that night in my head. Everything had been going fine since John and I had cleared the air between us, until tonight. Why did he have to kiss me? Why did it have to feel so nice? Why didn't I want it to stop?. What was wrong with me? Didn't I learn anything from him the first time around? I had just begun to get through the day without thinking of him every other minute. I wasn't going to start this all over again.
Besides, Zack said he was ready to get married. Ready to commit, ready to be a family. Of course, there would be no family. I couldn't have children, and that was fine with Zack. He didn't want them anyway. He had his career and I had mine, that would be enough. We could have a good life together. We would have a good life together.
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