The Religious Rant

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Disclaimer: These are my personal views. All religious views, or lack thereof, are bound to offend somebody. That is the nature of religion. I’m not setting out to be offensive, but it’s going to happen anyway. You’re welcome to disagree with me, to my face or behind my back, but if all you’re going to do is bang on about whatever fiery pit of hell you believe in, then kindly step away from the webpage, for everyone’s sake. Thank you.

I worry about the world. It’s hard not to, given the circumstances, but we’ve all got our little selection of issues that set us off. Drink driving, unscrupulous businessmen, environmental concerns, lenient sentencing, harsh sentencing, abortion, religion… there’s always something to get mad about. My father, for example, gets quite disproportionately annoyed at anything to do with exams. My secondary school made a huge fuss over league tables and he hated it. Now any government plans to change the exam system gets his back up (which is fair enough, to be honest, there’s nothing wrong with the exam system that wouldn’t be wrong with a new one), and usually he’s the mildest man you’ll ever meet.

  The things that make me angry don’t usually appear in the paper. To be fair, I generally read the Mirror, which tends to comprise fluff pieces, bean counting and grisly horrible deaths that give me nightmares. Bush and his anti-abortion bills make me angry. It’s not something we’re likely to have a problem with over here. Blair would have to really want to lose the election/hand over to Brown to even suggest it. What bugs me so much about Bush’s little agenda is that they’re not his freedoms he’s signing away. I find it very hard to be sympathetic to men fronting abortion campaigns.

  I’ve rarely seen a whole roomful of people up in arms about the same thing. But I have seen it. When I was in my last year of school, a friend of mine got baptised. She invited several people from school (not me, obviously, she didn’t think I’d be able to walk through the doors), and the next day she brought in booklets for them. Yes, that sort of booklet. Perhaps I should have mentioned that this friend of mine is extremely Christian. Nobody held anything against her for that, so long as she didn’t try and convert us. But in her newly-baptised state she was apparently feeling lucky, and distributed her booklets about the common room.

  I’d known most of the girls in there for about seven years, and I have never seen them so angry. Angry that anyone would write that stuff and frightened that anyone would believe it. Sample quotes: “All of your virtues and good works will not cancel out a single one of your sins.” “It is useless to do good works. God demands perfection, and any effort by a mortal must be hopelessly flawed.” Incidentally, a little later, the booklet states: “One must do good works in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven.” Religion is fine, but I have no time for idiots who don’t even notice a contradiction as blatant as that in a pretty short pamphlet with big letters.

  Fundamentalist propaganda bothers me. I don’t mind being told that Jesus loves me, although I used to, and I don’t mind the Christian who wants to spread a message of love. I’ll even listen quite happily to it, so long as this love is freely available and not dependent on my going along next Sunday to meet the vicar and be cleansed. I have no problem with Christians who preach love; that’s a beautiful thing. However, the ones who preach fear can kiss my shapely Pagan arse.

  One of the wisest women I have ever known is a Christian who silently prays that my religious path is just a phase, although she knows me well and knows I’m not the type to get involved with anything silly, so she lets it go. This wise woman firmly believes that the fear-preaching Christians are not only wrong, but blasphemous. God, she tells me, is a higher being, one that we here on earth cannot hope to comprehend. She was quite shocked when I gave her my friend’s booklet to read. What, she asked, makes this man so great that he knows what God wants, what God requires of us? How does he know who God will send to hell and why He will send them there? What puts this man higher than everyone else? Why should it be him who tells the rest of the world how to get into heaven? She was angrier at this than any Pagan or atheist I had shown or quoted it to. And she was quite right to be. This was her God, and this man was claiming, quite glibly, to know all about Him. Nobody likes to see their gods portrayed in a negative light. Smoke comes out of a Wiccan’s ears when someone lumps their God and the Christian devil in the same group. Why shouldn’t someone be insulted when they see their God portrayed as an abusive father punishing his children because their best isn’t good enough?

  God, says my very wise friend, is the ultimate Father. If we do something wrong, perhaps we need to be punished. But why punish us after we die, when we cannot learn from our mistakes and go on to be better people? If a good father saw his child drawing on the wall, he’d go and tell the child to stop doing it. He wouldn’t take out a piece of paper entitled “List of Sins”, write down that the child has drawn on the wall and make a mark next to it every time the child repeats the offence in the future. What good would that do? Incidentally, I’ve always wanted to ask a serious fundamentalist if God is still holding my own wall-drawing misdemeanours against me.

  I believe I am very lucky to have the parents that I have, and they seem to believe they’ve done pretty well raising my brother and me. My mother is pleased that I have never taken up smoking, I go out with my friends to dance rather than to binge-drink and fall over and that I have not got myself married or pregnant by the age of almost twenty, like the eldest girls of both my uncles. My mother is also a pretty wise woman, and she tells me her greatest triumph as a parent is that she has raised me to think for myself.

  Be honest, now. Pagans, would you feel as though you’d failed if your child converted to Christianity? Christians, would you feel you’d failed if your child converted to another faith? Speaking honestly, I might feel a little disappointed if my child became Christian, but if he or she became Fundamentalist, then I would feel like a failure as a parent. No question. If a child that I had raised needed to get all his or her opinions out of the same book, if they had no better answer to a question than “God did it” or “Satan did it”, if they went around preaching fear and fire, I would be pretty upset with myself. My parents were never especially religious (although their parents were) and would only go to church when one of their children was in the parade (yes, I was a Brownie, and a Guide. It was great fun), but C of E was still all they knew. My mother has told me, several times, that she is grateful that she raised me to be curious and ask questions, because as I grew up I made her question things. The last time we went to church (the christening of my cousin’s little boy), I couldn’t speak the words, as you might expect. Looking around me, I realised that my mum and brother couldn’t either.

  I went through the anti-Christian stage, as almost all Wiccans and Pagans seem to do. Personally I believe they can only start getting to the heart of their religion when they get over it. Christian may be the dominant religion and all over the place, but I’ve got no reason to object to any religion that doesn’t object to me, unless said religion involves doing nasty things to people and animals. On top of the obvious reasons, I am really very squeamish. I can’t even step on a bug.

  Something to add, which has been bugging me since I saw it here a few hours ago. This guy makes a very reasonable argument, to begin with, against the statement “There is no God.” It makes sense. You can see that. Up to there, I was quite impressed. The problem is, one can make exactly the same argument against the statement “There is a God.” By this argument, the only thing one can reasonably be is an agnostic, one who admits they do not know. The author does not explain agnosticism away. We are just told it’s not true, and having run out of actual arguments, the page descends into burning lake of fire, you all know it’s coming and you’re pretending it isn’t, which isn’t really an argument, in the strictest sense. It’s a shame, really, as when I read the first bit I was starting to get excited, thinking I had found a fundamentalist site based in reason. The rest of the page was the usual bollocks (and rather funny, may I say). It might help if these people would learn that you won’t convert non-believers by quoting the Bible. The first bit was very impressive. If the author happens to be reading this, you were going down the right track to begin with. Try and make a whole page out of that sort of stuff. I am not Christian, but I believe I am a good person. Can you give me a cogent, logical reason why that can’t be?

  Thank you for your attention. Feel free to disagree with me. But reasons, please, people, reasons.

 
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