The Best of IM Conversations

For the past few years, I have kept in touch with friends using AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). Sometimes I couldn't help but save a quote or portion from my conversations with friends and here I share with you some of the best excerpts from those IMs. Most of them are either funny, stupid, scary, or disturbing so if you can't handle the stupidity, I suggest you press the "back" button on your browser. The following excerpts are from real conversations with my friends...you can't make this stuff up! Some excerpts have been edited for content (privacy purposes) but the rest of the conversation remains intact. All screen names have been changed to protect the innocent from being abused by their other friends. If you think an excerpt on here is from a conversation with you and you would like me to remove it, send me an e-mail. Or if for some odd reason you'd like to be identified by name (not screen name), e-mail me. Otherwise, happy reading!

Page 1 :: Page 2 :: Page 3 :: Page 4 :: Page 5 :: Page 6

Friend1: oh. I haven't driven since 2 weeks ago. I thought I forgot how
Me: maybe that is good, maybe you'll suddenly remember how to park! lol
Me: :-P
Friend1: hey f u
Me: oh, nice language!
Me: :-P

Friend1: we're very alike in some ways
Me: true, guess that's what happens when u go to all the same schools
Friend1: I guess
Me: maybe it's the lunch food
Friend1: doubt it
Me: although i never touched it
Friend1: never ate it at school
Me: who knows
Friend1: me neither lol
Me: lololol
Me: didn't know what it was half the time

Friend1: he has issues with expressing his emotions
Me: well, i guess most guys do
Me: men are such weird little creatures aren't they
Friend1: I suppose
Friend1: but they're so cute
Me: like pets
Me: :-P
Friend1: yea
Friend1: sort of...

Friend1: yep I get my own kitchen
Me: oooo, really nice
Friend1: yea so i can start fires hehe
Me: yeah, prob, i've never been around u when u cook:-P
Friend1: thats bc i don't cook!
Me: well, perhaps that is a good thing then
Friend1: but i'm learning a little
Me: eh, me too, it takes time i guess
Me: i'm more of a baker than an actual cook
Friend1: i'm more of a frier. lol.
Me: lol
Friend1: i've mastered the stovetop
Me: mmm...greasy
Friend1: now if I can only figure out the damn oven!
Me: lol
Me: oven isn't too bad, at least the one we have now
Friend1: stovetop is more interactive. u screw up u can fix it a little
Friend1: add something here
Friend1: drain something there
Friend1: but the oven's so .... definite
Friend1: put it in and forget it until its done - or burnt whatever the cASE MAYB
Me: yeah, it's pretty unforgiving
Friend1: yep
Friend1: stupid oven
Me: damn those ovens
Friend1: oh and the microwave is the best thing in the world!
Friend1: can't forget that
Me: yeah, very easy, can't screw that up
Friend1: and so convient!
Me: well, u can, but it is kinda hard
Me: except if u throw in some foil or other metal
Me: then not so good
Friend1: y u get a free sparkler show

Me: nah, i can live on cold food...hell, most of the time i eat so slow that by the time i make it to the next thing in my dish it's cold
Friend1: lol
Me: yeah, my family doesn't let me forget it
Me: they always ask me if i've ever eaten a warm french fry

Friend1: sooooooo thirsty...
Me: drink, drink
Friend1: then i'll pee the bed
Me: put on rubber sheets:-D
Friend1: lol
Friend1: nah...
Me: then don't drink and dehydrate, what can i tell ya?:-D
Friend1: nah I'm gonna have SOME water
Me: good, have SOME water, but not A LOT of water
Me: yeah that's good
Friend1: yea...
Friend1: wow this convos slowly dying
Me: yeah, i know
Me: i'm a little tired so i'm not workin real hard over here
Me: sorry
Friend1: no prob
Friend1: ur forgiven :-P
Me: aww, thanx:-)
Friend1: still thirsty
Friend1: drank it all
Friend1: and still thirsty!
Me: then drink some more
Friend1: nooooooooooo
Friend1: i'll peeeeeeeeeeeeee
Friend1: such problems i have
Me: damn it, there's no pleasing u is there:-D
Friend1: if i don't complain my names not _______
Me: i know, ur right, keep on complaining, u do it so well:-P
Friend1: thanks
Friend1: bah my life sucks....
Friend1: ok enough of that
Me: eh, all of our lives suck
Friend1: yep
Friend1: and more annoying - the people whose lives are good
Me: yes, damn those people!
Friend1: hehe

Me: whenever i tell people how many i graduated with they think i must be crazy and imagine this huge school...well, they're sorta right on both
Friend1: hehe
Me: they tell me, "oh, yeah, we had 200 graduates, so many people." then i'm like, "yeah, i had about 800." that shuts them up real fast
Friend1: 910
Me: our year or this year?
Friend1: our yr
Me: see, when we were ranked, it was near 800, i knew there had to be more though
Friend1: yea... i dunno
Friend1: i thought it was 910
Me: it probably was, they just didn't count them for ranking, guess the 910th person would've felt real stupid
Friend1: ha! yea

Friend1: what does ur icon say?
Me: love=fail
Friend1: how optimistic ;-)
Me: i think it's perfect for me since i hate valentine's day
Me: it's so disgustingly mushy i wanna throw up
Friend1: yea i used to be anti-v-day too but i think its dumb just to hate it just bc everyone likes it
Me: flowers and candy and hugs and all that love shit, who needs it
Me: oh i don't hate it because everyone else likes it, i genuinely hate it for what it does...it makes people who have no one really know it
Friend1: yea no I hear that
Friend1: but u can look at it 2 ways
Friend1: u can let it bug u or u can make it a "happy to be single day"
Me: fuck that, i'd rather be miserable
Me: nobody's ever glad to be single
Friend1: but really don't get bummed over a stupid holiday
Me: oh i don't get bummed about it, i just ignore it like it's any other day so i hate it but i don't hate it actively...i am a passive anti-valentine's day person
Friend1: lol
Friend1: ok then that works ;-)

Friend1: yea he's really growing out of that stuff he wants something new to like but cant find anything
Me: well, there's always porn, lol:-D, nah, i'm sorry, this should be serious
Friend1: shame shame camille
Friend1: thats not a you statement at all
Me: i'm sorry
Friend1: lol
Friend1: no its funny
Friend1: u should loosen up more often
Me: ok then, yay!:-D
Me: i do, on occasion
Friend1: rarely
Me: yeah, it's easier with people i'm familiar with
Me: and who understand the weirdness that is camille
Friend1: yea u've only known me since when?
Me: yep
Me: much too long to know someone like me
Me: i'm surprised u haven't killed me yet
Friend1: aww ur not that bad
Friend1: now _______...
Friend1: hes a different story
Me: yeah, i get that
Me: i think it's the tall thing, there isn't enough oxygen getting to the brain
Friend1: lmao
Friend1: u've solved the problem!
Friend1: oh i'm gonna use that on him
Me: it's � camille 2003 so u may use it with permission
Friend1: ok then what is it? 25 cents a usage?
Me: 25 cents?! damn, i didn't get rich letting people use my material for 25 cents!
Me: well, now i know why i'm not rich...
Friend1: ha

Me: u ever gonna change that icon?
Friend1: no
Friend1: do u have an objection
Me: nah, i change mine so often i don't know what's normal anymore
Me: i've made over 180 icons
Friend1: lots of time eh?
Me: exactly

Me: and then there's beer, that's simple enough
Friend1: yuck
Friend1: disgusting
Me: i don't get y some people don't like beer
Friend1: it tastes horrible!
Me: no it doesn't...unless all you've had is coors light which tastes like shit
Friend1: and michelob and keystone light also suck
Me: budweiser and sam adams are good...bass too
Friend1: there harder to find on college campuses bc they r more expensive
Me: yeah, college kids go for the cheap stuff cuz they're just lookin to get tanked
Friend1: love ur choice of words
Me: well, it's true isn't it?:-D
Friend1: more or less

Page 1 :: Page 2 :: Page 3 :: Page 4 :: Page 5 :: Page 6