Breastfeeding Matters

The following stories are written by real moms sharing their experiences with Breastfeeding. (Please note that many stories are not common problems in everyday breastfeeding and though difficult for them, were overcome with determination and support. Do not read and assume your experience will be as difficult.)

Hi. My name is Jenn, I’m 31 and I was just diagnosed with breast cancer. This has been the hardest thing I’ve EVER had to deal with in my entire life, and I know I’m not the only person to go through something like this. I’m the type of person that copes with stress by (1) laughing about it and (2) sharing it with everyone I meet. I’m hoping that by posting this journal on my website I might be able to help others deal with their breast cancer diagnosis. (To read more in depth about Jenn's battle with cancer please visit her web site www.feedmybaby.com , and http://www.feedmybaby.com/photos.htm to see pictures of Jenn and her little family and birth)

A little over a year ago, on August 7, 2002, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 31 at the time. As I’m sure you can imagine, it was an incredibly scary diagnosis to get! After many Doctor’s visits and second & third opinions I opted to have a double mastectomy with full reconstruction on September 30, 2002. I wasn’t as worried about losing my breasts as I was about losing my ability to breastfeed! I wasn’t married yet (although my boyfriend asked me to marry him 10 days after my cancer diagnosis – what a great guy!) and I hadn’t had any children, but I really wanted to have them! That caused me the most agony when deciding what treatment options to take because I’d really wanted to breastfeed my children when I had them! When I finally decided to have the double mastectomy I pretty much knew I’d have to formula feed, but that’s not what I wanted for me OR my unborn children….

Well, here I am over 7 months pregnant, a little more than a year after my diagnosis, and almost exactly a year to the day after my double mastectomy. It’s been an exciting time in our lives (my husband and I were married on December 28, 2002!). We’re so thrilled about this little bundle of joy we’re about to bring into this world and the fact that I can’t physically breastfeed still bothers me. BUT, I have some exciting news!!!!

There are 4 human milk banks around the United States that collect milk from donor mothers and they distribute it to needy infants (such as preemies and infants with food allergies) and people just like myself…. Mothers that aren’t able to breastfeed! You must have a Doctor’s prescription to purchase the milk, and it’s quite expensive ($3.25 / ounce) but it’s available!!!! All donors are screened for HIV 1 & 2, Hepatitis B & C, Syphilis, and HTLV 1 & 2. Donors must also have the permission from their doctor and infant’s pediatrician to donate. They must also be non-smokers, in good health, not be taking any medications (other than a few that are allowed), they must limit their caffeine intake and can’t drink any alcoholic beverages within 12 hours of pumping. In addition, all milk is pasteurized and then retested for bacterial contamination before being sent to the recipient.

I’ve also discovered a piece of equipment called a supplemental nursing system, or SNS. This is a device that hangs around a mother’s neck and holds formula (or breast milk!). There are 2 thin catheters that snake out from the bottom of it and are taped above your nipples. Then, when your child latches on it is ‘nursing’ and getting nutrition through the SNS! My Doctor is going to write a prescription for breast milk and I’ve already gotten a SNS, so as long as my newly created nipples are suitable for latch-on I’ll be able to ‘breastfeed’ my baby! (The reason I say ‘newly created nipples’ is my old ones were removed during my surgery. My new nipples aren’t able to become erect and are flatter than normal nipples, but hopefully they’ll work!) If my baby can’t latch onto my nipples I’ll be using this cool bottle called an Adiri Breastbottle Nurser. It’s designed to look and feel more like a mother’s breast. While using this bottle I’ll still open my shirt and lay my baby against me to get the close skin-to-skin contact that you’d usually get while breastfeeding.

One small problem with this whole scenario is the fact that even though I have a Doctor’s prescription for human milk, MOST insurance companies don’t cover the cost! And guess what, my insurance company is no exception! I am trying to convince them to cover the cost of breast milk, but I’m not very optimistic about it. SO, if I want to Feed My Baby breast milk I’m going to have to cover the cost of purchasing it myself. At $3.25 / ounce a typical baby will go through $104 in breast milk EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

I’ve set up this website to ask for monetary donations so I can afford to Feed My Baby breast milk for as long as possible (for a minimum of 3 weeks up to about 6 months). The reason I’d like to provide breast milk for at least 3 weeks is it’s the amount of time that is recommended that you breastfeed before switching to formula. The reason for this is studies have found an increased IQ and lower adult blood pressure in infants that have been breastfed as opposed to formula fed. In addition, the frequency of many childhood illnesses, such as lower respiratory illness, respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), ear infections, diarrhea and allergies tends to be less in breastfed babies as opposed to those that were fed formula. For these reasons I’d like to offer my baby breast milk as long as possible! At $3.25 / ounce this averages out to $2184 for three weeks and $17,472 for the full six months!!!

I don't think mine was too interesting (breastfeeding in
Charleston at an outdoor city party) but you're
welcome to use it. I am a mother of one, Sydney, born
3/17/04. I knew from the day I found out I was pregnant
that I would breastfeed. It was trying the first week home
from the hospital, but I am so glad I stuck it out.
Now we have a wonderful breastfeeding relationship!
Ashley

I've been reading about strangers "freaking out" about breastfeeding in public, so I thought I'd post this story where I'm surprised no stranger said anything....

Last Friday we were flying out of Little Rock Airport and we were waiting in line to pre-board (I LOVE Southwest Airlines). Anyway, Raegan started to fuss for food and she was in her sling (which we were both new with) facing out (kangaroo carry). So, I attempted to put her in the vertical carry to feed. She seemed fine at first, but as I was getting the boob out, she started getting more vocal. Meanwhile, my husband was holding up a receiving blanket to block the line of onlookers, but I could see if Raegan was latching on correctly (she was having difficulty adjusting to the new position in the sling) so I kept telling him to move it out of the way. Now, Raegan is screaming at the airport, and I'm worried that all these people are going to think that my normally passive child is going to scream the entire flight. Needless to say, I continue to try to feed my child and lift my breast to a better angle, but I must have squeezed a little too hard because two streams of breastmilk go shooting out over the head of my child and out in front of everybody (approx 6 feet out!)---almost landing on the person sitting in a row of seats next to the line! I just busted out.

A situation that differs from what I hear a lot here was that I had
social pressure TO breastfeed. My Mom did it, my sister did it, my one
girlfriend with children is rabid (ha ha) about it. Because it is
scientifically known to be superior, AND I have friends and family in
the medical community, I had no valid excuses except that I am too lame
to give me baby the best food. In all honesty, that helped me to get
over any of those short term urges to just give in and give him formula.
I would have felt like such a LOSER and rotten mother. I am glad that
pressure was there, frankly. Incidentally, it was not judgmental
pressure at all. It was very supportive pressure.

What breastfeeding means to me has changed on the recent weeks. The
first 2 to 3 weeks I saw breastfeeding as a burden that I could not get
rid of and could not share. Since sleeping has settled down a little
(still not getting all I want, but am getting some), I feel better
about it. I do not look forward to it like a big special treat. But I
definitely do not dislike and dread it anymore.

I do not know how it has affected "bonding." It is wonderful to know
that he is happiest when he is with me. It is wonderful that I can take
my unhappy crying little guy and make him content. Is this due to
breastfeeding or that I spend all day with him? I do not know. He DOES
like the breast for more than just food. I love my little boy, and I
love him more and more every day. He is the most beautiful human being
I have ever laid eyes on. His smile rocks my whole world. I suppose
that is all part of the big picture.

One thing that breastfeeding has done has amplified my feelings of
responsibility for Eddie. I am the primary person responsible for him,
and this is crystal clear. My DH and I thought that we would be co-
responsible. But my protective instincts are much sharper than his. I
think of his safety constantly, even when he is not with me. There is
something inexplicably different about Daddy and Mommy. My DH looks to
me for cues on what to do, etc.. This would not normally be the case in
other arenas. My DH is an independent spirit and would much rather do
something his own way!

That is my rambling sort of story!
Stephanie

My daughter is 17 months old and is still nursing 7 to 10 times a day.
We've had a few bumps here and there, but overall I'd say we have a pretty
good nursing relationship. I decided to nurse Melanie at my first
prenatal appointment. I have a cow's milk allergy and had been diagnosed
with Chrohn's disease (turns out I don't have Chrohn's, it was a
misdiagnosis) and was urged to nurse for at least a year as it lessened
the chances that my baby would have allergies or illnesses like Chrohn's
disease.

When my daughter was born, I got to try nursing when she was 10 minutes
old. The labour and delivery nurses helped, but Mel was a bit jaundice
and sleepy so she didn't really latch and suck that well.

We ended up working around the clock with nurses and lactation consultants
for the next 2 days. By the time Mel was three days old, she could latch
onto the right side with little problem. Nursing on the left side took
more work since the letdown was slower on that side and Mel sometimes fell
asleep before letdown.

But, once I was aware of what was happening, I could massage that breast
so that it would let down right away and Mel became a nursing champ from 5
days old on.

My daughter never was a textbook nurser. When I came home from the
hospital, I expected her to want to nurse 8 to 12 times in 24 hours. It
was more like 16 to 20 times. It took some getting used to, and our
turning point really was when we started co-sleeping when my daughter was
6 weeks old. By the time she was 4 months old, I was able to get 8 hours
of sleep a night since she would wake only to nurse and rarely needed me
to be awake for more than a few minutes.

I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months old. During the first
month back, I got mastitis 3 times and dealt with plugged ducts off and on
for another 6 weeks. Then, things got better once we got a schedule that
worked for us. I would get up at 6:30 am, shower and pump. I would then
nurse Melanie for a half hour and go to work for 8am. I pumped at 9:30,
came home for lunch to nurse her at noon, pumped again at 3pm and came
home from work at 5. When plugged ducts were a problem, we nursed like
crazy, I took lots of hot showers and I pumped extra to clear the plugs.

Melanie quickly began to reverse cycle and nurse more at night. For a
couple of months I would have to rush home and nurse Mel as soon as I
walked in the door. But, she got better at taking milk from a cup, or a
dropper. She has never taken a bottle though, but started taking a sipper
at about 11 months. I was not able to cut out any pumping sessions
without running the risk of plugged ducts until Melanie was a year old.

The only other milestone that had some effect on nursing was when Melanie
started teething. We had no problem with the bottom teeth, but she
started nipping me when she was teething her top front teeth. She broke
the skin once and bruised me a bit. I contacted the La Leche league by
email and they gave us some pointers since I really didn't want to wean.
I got so that I could recognize when Mel was no longer sucking and could
pull her off before she bit. Or, if she did give me a nip, I'd detach her
and put her down. It only took 3 times for her to learn that biting ended
a nursing session.

We introduced cow's milk when Melanie was 13 months old. I'm happy to say
that she hasn't shown up with any allergies to it so far. :-)

I finally weaned from the pump when my daughter was 15 months old. By
this time, Melanie was eating 3 solid meals a day and snacks and she was
more interested in having water or sometimes juice or a bit of cow's milk
instead of having expressed milk in her cup. She still nursed 7 to 11
times a day so I wasn't concerned that she wasn't getting enough.

And here we are at 17 months. My 6 pound 11 ounce daughter now weighs 23
pounds, and has 13 teeth. She still nursed 7 to 11 times a day, but I'm
finding that she settles in for those 30 minute feeds less often. 10
minutes or so is more common for her now. I still come home for lunch to
nurse her and she still wants to nurse soon after I come home from work.
These are my favourite times of the day because I get to reconnect with
this little person that has grown so much and is getting to be more
independent everyday.

We have no plans to lead weaning at this point. I'm pretty sure Melanie
will wean herself sometime after her second birthday.

That's our story.
:-)
Sar.

Why I am not a militant breastfeeding Nazi, but why I will do my best to
provide education, encouragement and support to new mothers who are trying or
thinking about trying to breastfeed.
That's a long title, but it details what I want to say in this post. No
matter what one may want to accuse me of, I am not militant about
breastfeeding. I am, however, passionate about it. And I hope you will read
my story, and gain some understanding, because I think most women who are
called militant about breastfeeding are actually more like me.
First of all, if you are feeding your infant formula, I do *not* think you are
a bad mother. With the exception of those few cases where breastfeeding is for
some reason impossible, I think that perhaps you are uneducated and/or lacked
support.
While pregnant, I said I was going to try to nurse. But to tell the truth, it
sounded downright gross to me. I felt like it was somehow disgusting to feed
an infant with something that leaked from my body. Yuck. And I didn't see how
I was going to manage to do this for six months, which was my original plan.
Still, I knew it was best for the baby, so I began reading
Misc.Kids.Breastfeeding. I learned so much, although my feelings didn't really
change at all.
Then my son was born. The first few days were so rough. Even with the help
of a lactation consultant, it was difficult to get him to latch on correctly.
And it hurt so bad! Then I got engorged, and that hurt even worse. Plus, he
didn't eat like the books said he would. I worried he was starving to death.
I spent the first week in tears.
Then the engorgement went away, the pain quit, and best of all, he developed
this little double chin that told me he was growing! Plus it was so sweet to
cuddle him close by me, snuggled together in bed, and listen to his contented
little sighs after filling on milk.
I got out my pump and started pumping, and finally got up the nerve to taste a
little of the milk I was storing for when I went back to work. To my surprise,
it tasted like . . . milk! Only sweeter and better than any cow's milk I had
ever had. And then I started thinking about how disgusting it is to drink
cow's milk, which comes from an animal that is fairly disgusting itself, and is
designed to feed baby calves, not baby humans. I still can't stand to drink
cow's milk!
We had a few more problems in the next few weeks. I had several plugged ducts
(ouch!) that thankfully never turned into mastitis, and I had to severely limit
my diet because his little tummy was so sensitive. But by the time I returned
to work when he was six weeks old, I was determined to stick it out for maybe a
year, but at least for six months.
Then he started smiling at me while nursing, and cooing while nursing. If you
have never held a child to your breast, and had him break away to smile up at
you with your milk dripping down his chin, you don't know what you have missed.
And the smell! Smell the breath or the top of a formula fed baby's head, then
do the same for a breastfed baby. My son's breath smelled like butter cookies.
When he'd yawn, I'd put my nose in front of his mouth just to get a whiff of
that sweet smell. Sounds crazy, but I miss that sweet baby breath now that
he's a toddler.
I have a sister quite a bit younger than me, and she was on formula. I fed
her often. That was sweet. But nothing prepared me for how sweet a nursing
baby is. I would spend entire feedings with tears rolling down my face at the
joy of giving my son this wonderful gift.
And I felt so empowered! I might work with a bunch of macho guys, but not one
of them could nurse a baby. And I have been such an example. Everyone I know
who was anti-bf when my son was born, supports bf now.
Basically, the reason we who are passionate about bf keep harping on it is
this: we feel sad because you don't realize what you are missing. My son is 15
months old, and now only nurses twice a day. Soon he'll wean himself, and that
part of my time with him will be over. But until the day I die (hopefully when
I am old and gray) I will treasure those months of cuddling and nursing my
beautiful son.
So call me militant if you want, but I am really not. I just wish more women
would discover what a gift, what a miracle, breastfeeding your baby can be.

Amanda

Before I had a child, I didn't think at all about how a woman fed her
children - I knew breast was more natural, but that was about it. When
I became pregnant, I assumed I would breast feed, for no other reason
than it seemed the obvious choice. I knew nothing about the benefits,
or potential problems, and so was totally confident that it would work
out fine. I hadn't even considered what age to breast feed up to - I
wasn't setting goals, or hoping to beat anyone in the families duration
- it just never occurred to me that I would have to decide how long to
go for. Throughout the pregnancy more and more literature was thrown n
my direction, all extolling the benefits of breastfeeding, and all
reinforcing my determination. By six months I had started to look at
what other mothers were doing, and look for information on my own. I
didn't have a huge amount, I was planning on asking lots of questions at
the ante natal classes.

At 29 weeks, 2 weeks before the classes were due to start, I was
admitted to hospital, and DS was born 5 days later. I had no idea what
to do, and was totally adrift on a huge wave of emotions - mostly guilt.
As I lay there, totally lost, wondering why I couldn't see anything (My
glasses had been taken when I went into labour) I listened to the
doctors trying to get my son to breathe and his heart to start. It
seemed like hours, but was really only 15 minutes, and 17 minutes
respectively. I was later told that they would have declared him a lost
cause at 20 minutes. It was about 20 minutes before I had the courage
to ask if it was a boy or girl.

Four hours later, as I stared into the plastic box, I was asked by
several nurses if I was going to pump. I didn't think about it, I just
said yes. I had planned to breast feed, and pumping seemed the natural
extension. The next day I was introduced to the Breast pump. To me it
looked like a lawnmower engine on a stick. I got less than an ounce,
and felt like a failure. No one explained that my milk hadn't come in
yet. When I took the colostrum down to the NICU, they gushed and
congratulated me. It made me feel like I could do something other than
get in their way. At this point, I had no idea that Breast feeding was
demand based, or that I would need to pump regularly, or eat / drink
properly. All I wanted to do was curl into a little ball and just lay
there.

For the next week I pumped whenever I felt the need, not on a schedule,
not worrying about how much milk came. I just pumped. I ended up
pumping every 2 hours round the clock, getting up to 7 ounces a time
(both sides.) It wasn't until one of the midwives asked me about
pumping that I slowed to every 4 hours.

At the NICU they really made a big deal about the amount of milk I was
making. Looking back I can see why. I was very lucky in that a lot of
the things I was doing could have severely jeopardized my supply but
didn't.

DS had his first milk at 5 days old. 0.5 ml through a tube up his nose
and into his stomach, every 4 hours. Every other feed the nurses
removed the contents of his stomach to see if he was digesting the milk
OK. There was no stopping him from that point onwards. We had
setbacks, but at 6 weeks, I went to stay at the hospital to get breast
feeding established.

We had been putting DS to the breast at every possible opportunity since
he was 4 weeks old, but he hadn't done any more than fall asleep. When
I went to room in, the nurses said it would probably take about 3 days,
than I could take my precious boy home. I was there a week, and failed,
or at least that was what it felt like.

For five days I put DS to the breast every time he whimpered, we would
have hours where both he and I sat there crying because we couldn't get
it right. The nurses were wonderful, suggesting different positions,
helping to hold him, getting pillows, etc. But after the third day of
weight loss we decided to stay with EBM through a bottle for a while
longer. Once I stopped trying to feed him, the change was amazing. He
went from a screaming bundle of red stuff to a baby. I was determined
though.

I continued pumping, and brought DS home 2 days later. I didn't try for
a month after that, but when DS was 10 weeks old, or at his due date, I
started trying to get him to breast feed again. This time I tried
gently, rather than just stubbornly. I would watch the clock, and just
before I thought he would be really hungry, I'd offer the breast. I
tried to make breast and bottle feeding as similar as possible. I held
him in the same position, with skin to skin contact, and sang the same
songs to him at each feed. A few times I took DS to bed, and just
stayed there all day, trying each time to get him to feed. A few times
I refused to give him his bottle, but that never worked. I tried nipple
shields, I tried bottle teats over my nipples, but it didn't seem to
make any difference. Through out this time I was pumping, and somehow
maintained a good supply.

Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to click. DS started to take the
occasional feeding direct from source, as it were. It started with one
feed a day, and he would always want the next feed quicker after
breastfeeding. Then it was two or three feeds a day, then every other,
and finally, on the 1st July 1999 he took all of his feeds straight from
the breast. It was a huge relief, after more than five months of
exclusive pumping, I was starting to get somewhat sick of the sight of
the pump, and very pessimistic that we could make the switch. My doctor
and health visitor kept telling me to give up trying and stop pumping.
The only health professional that was supportive was the only one I
trusted anyway. DS's Pediatrician was so encouraging, as was my
partner.

At six months old, I suddenly came under pressure from most sides to
switch to Formula. I had just started to enjoy breast feeding, had only
been doing it for a month! I had started to Luke of several rather
radical newsgroups (or at least I thought they were radical then), and
saw no reason to stop just because DS was a certain age. I guess that I
was planning to wean Luke at about 1 year, but had no firm plans.
People on the NG's seemed to think that two years was a good time, so I
did some research, and decided to let Luke set the pace - after all we
hadn't started until he was ready, so why should we stop before he
wanted?

Now I am looking down the barrel of Luke's 2nd birthday (7 days!), and
can't imagine ever stopping. In the early days it seemed that breast
milk was all I could provide for my son, now it is just a part of what
we do. My family don't understand, but now I can't understand why they
all stopped feeding their kids so early.

Jenn--
UK

I knew that I wanted to breastfeed from the first day that I found out that I
was pregnant. It was best for the baby, it would be good for me, and it was
CHEAP! :-) However, I've never been that thrilled about someone manipulating
my nipples during sex, so I wasn't sure how I would feel about having a baby
suck on them for food. Friends were telling me that I should "toughen" them
up in preparation.

We waited to tell everyone about the baby until the end of the first
trimester, because if something was going to go wrong, it was more likely to
go wrong during the first. When I told my best friend, she was in the process
of figuring out if she was also pregnant! So we ended up going through out
entire pregnancies comparing notes and experiences. She was due 7 weeks after
me. Unfortunately for her, she had a bad pregnancy with lots of problems,
while my pregnancy was fairly easy. My son Benjamin was born on Aug 3 and her
son was born exactly 7 weeks later on Sep 21, almost to the hour (7:16 and
4:14).

I had a really rough birth (easy pregnancy, hard birth - I'll take it!) and
even though I had an episiotomy I still had a level 3 tear. Benjamin decided
that he had to see everyone, so he decided to come out face up. His head was
huge (14.5 inches circ. at birth). And I had an epidural and was flat on my
back and legs up in stirrups for the pushing. So naturally, this made for a
really fun experience pushing him out! Three hours and 15 minutes, with
threats of a section that finally got Ben moving.

It took half an hour to stitch me up after the birth, while the resuscitation
team and the nurses took care of Ben. They called a DNR team because I took
so much time to push him out, but Ben began wailing his lungs out immediately
and scored 9 on both APGAR tests. When the stitching was done and they could
lower my legs, we tried to breastfeed. No luck - all he wanted to do was
lick. But that's OK. They took him away to the nursery after an hour and a
half and I got to eat dinner and move to the recovery room.

When they brought him to the recovery room, we tried nursing again. Success!
30 minutes on each side, with no latch problems. I nursed him lying down, so
I had to be rolled by my husband and the nurse to switch sides. I still
couldn't move my left leg. I was relieved that the nursing went so well,
thinking that maybe I wouldn't have any problems. But that was one of the few
good sessions we had in the hospital. He wouldn't wake up to feed, and only a
few times did we achieve what Matt and I called "Zen Suck". Matt and my Mom
both think that we should have stayed a third night in the hospital so that
the nurses could have helped us more, but we went home 48 hours after Ben was
born. He had a slight case of jaundice but they said to undress him and keep
him in the sunshine. Ha! Week of thunderstorms in the area.

The first night home was awful. He woke up every 2 hours and wanted to eat,
but we couldn't get a latch going. In the morning, I pumped for the first
time, just to get a few ounces into him, because we needed to flush the
jaundice out. I was determined not to give him any formula. We had one good
nursing session on Sunday night so I settled into a rhythm of using the pump
to bring out my nipple, then nursing as much as I could, then pumping and
feeding Ben the EBM from a bottle. My cat learned to come in the bedroom when
she heard the pump, because then she could be with me when that squally thing
wasn't.

Monday we took him to the pediatrician to have her look him over because of
the jaundice. She ordered a blood test and put him on a bili-blanket, which
Children's Hospital brought out to our house and showed us how to use. At
that point I swore off trying to BF again, because it was tough enough with
him squirming all over trying to get a latch but now he had this blanket up
his shirt and a long "umbilical cord" to the machine. But it was cool - he
glowed in the dark! He was nuclear baby!

The next day, two wonderful things happened - the visiting nurse took his
blood level and we found out that it was down and we could take him off the
blanket. We ended up continuing to use it while they took forever to come
back and get it - it couldn't hurt and we had it available. The second
wonderful thing was our scheduled home visit from the delivery hospital
nurse. We called her the Drill Sergeant because she drilled into this
exhausted new mommy exactly what I needed to do. Including completely solving
our latch and BF problems! You know the saying "belly to belly, chest to
chest, tip of nose and face should touch the breast"? Well, add the line "And
keep that big old breast up off his chest!" That was the problem - my large
breasts were pushing down on his chin and while he could latch, he couldn't
move his mouth to suck and he would break the latch. When she diagnosed the
problem, he nursed on the right like he hadn't since the first night. Then
after she left, I tried by myself on the left and voila' it worked!

I have never had a single problem from that moment in time. Unless you count
when he got teeth and spent one session figuring out how fun it was to bite
Mommy and watch her jump. He doesn't do that anymore, after he found out that
doing that enough times meant that Mommy would take it away completely. I BF
him exclusively until he was 3 months old, at which time I was not able to
pump enough at work (2 sessions a day) to keep him fed during day care. We
started supplementing with formula and gradually increased the formula as my
supply dwindled. I did not plan to do BF for much longer than when he would
begin eating solid foods. He started solids at a little over 5 months and my
supply is slowly tapering completely off. Since he's such a big boy (22
pounds and almost 30 inches long at 7 months) it's started to get harder to
hold him in his favorite BF positions as well.

I'm still Bfing him in the morning before going to work. That is starting to
taper off as well. I'm getting myself psychologically ready to completely
wean him. After the first initial problems, it was great to be able to
exclusively BF him. It feels so wonderful to be able to provide him with the
food he needs, and I loved watching him drift off while nursing, completely
content and happy. I encourage every new mom that I know to breastfeed as
long as they want to. It was wonderful not having to buy formula for 3 months
and I lost all of the weight that I gained during pregnancy and MORE! I
didn't have much of an appetite the first 3 weeks postpartum and Ben just
sucked it right off me. 10 days PP I was back at the doctor's and weighed
myself and I was UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight. WOO HOO! Maybe I can sell this
in an infomercial? :-)

Sharon B

It is a really long story but the short version is that Eddie was small, 5.9 lbs. and sleepy and recovering from a traumatic birth that included suction/lavage for meconium
so for whatever reason, he didn't want to open his mouth. They tested him for blood sugar level and found it was too low so it became a race against the clock to "feed" him and since my milk was not in yet, formula was ordered and eventually he was taken to NICU and I was discharged.
Then we drove back and forth from the hospital, 30 minutes each way, every 3.5 hours to try and nurse and supplement. The criteria for his release was that he had to be eating so many ounces of formula and having so many wet and poopy diapers.
The hospital was not supportive of breastfeeding and I could not get to one of "their" lactation consultants so I called in one of my own. This is in addition to my mother, who is a retired La Leche League leader who had been there all along, and a friend of hers who is a LC and LLL leader who had stopped by to access his suck pattern.
I think that the little things made such a huge difference in our case. They add up, you know? Anyway, once he finally came home from the hospital, we were supplementing pretty heavily and pumping, and seeing a LC regularly. She was stymied by Eddie's response too. He still didn't want to open his mouth and now he would stiffen up and press with his feet against me, then get furious and cry when I tried to breastfeed. He didn't have the patience to wait for the letdown which was slow and he'd thrash around a lot with his fists in his mouth. Poor baby was hungry and it
was so frustrating not to be able to feed him. My milk never really did come in with all of the pumping, until Eddie breastfed for the first time at 8 weeks. Then I really got engorged and had a bout of plugged ducts. I
>think all of them, LOL. So then, I would immerse my breasts in warm water before nursing or pumping and then Hubby, Ed, would massage the "lumps" while I nursed in various positions to relieve the blockages. That took about a week. It took close to a month to wean Eddie totally off of the formula and solely breastfeed. Now he is 21 months and still nursing strong:-) My pride and joy is that I stuck with it and Eddie's obvious joy at "Nay Nay" time is a testament that it was worth all of the hard work, and then some!
Pretty wild, huh?
Jenni

Hi, I've been lurking here a few weeks. I wish I had been reading this group
when my son was first born. I still Bf my DS who is now 15 mos.. But I
almost didn't. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was advised by
those nearest me almost to the point where I failed .My DS was born at 36.5
weeks. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz. He had no complications, so was discharged
with me the day after delivery. I started to bf. He had a little trouble
latching. I saw an LC and we were able to correct the problem. At his 72
hour follow up he had lost 9 oz. At his 1 week check up he weighed 6 lbs 2
oz. At his 2 week check up he still had not regained his birth weight, so my
Ped recommended I supplement with formula. I had been nursing him every 2-3
hours. He had 6-8 wet/ dirty diapers a day. He wasn't fussy. He just wasn't
gaining weight. My family's (I should clarify: by "family" I mean my DH, my
mil, my mom and my sister who bf her 3 kids) attitude at this point was that
since the lactation consultant had corrected the latching problem and
verified everything else was right, that the problem must be with the milk
itself . Enter my mil. She came to help out. She said "Of course you can't
feed the baby. You're exhausted. You go take a nap. I'll take care of the
baby." Thus started the downward spiral in my milk supply. She gave
formula. After all we were following doctor's orders) Less demand, so less
supply. DS learned to prefer the bottle. He would fuss if offered the
breast. This confirmed my family's feeling that there must be something
wrong with my milk. I began pumping instead of nursing. When I would pump
there would be 3oz at most. My family was horrified. If that's all the milk
I had the poor baby must have been starving. My mil took me aside and said"
I know you wanted to breastfeed but this isn't about you. This is about your
poor child. Why should he suffer because you're too proud to admit you were
wrong. You can't feed him. You don't have enough milk. Don't be so selfish,
let him have formula." So we worked out a system where my DS would first
take a bottle with either EBM or formula, but after the first 2 oz I would
try to bf. With his initial hunger satisfied he would sometimes nurse but of
course my supply decreased. DS began to gain weight and the only problem
noted at 6 weeks was a case of cradle cap. My family's attitude was since
obviously my DS was doing better on formula, I should quit bfing altogether.
( Remember the myth "I had no support"? That's where I felt I was. I knew
that I could find outside support.. But in my family's opinion I was flying
in the face of MEDICAL advice for the sake off my own vanity instead of
considering the welfare of my child.) At this point I was on the verge of
giving up. I would have become yet another failed bf cliché, but then fate
lent a hand. About the same time I went back to work the "cradle cap" my DS
had took a turn for the worse and was re-diagnosed as eczema. His eczema was
worse at the end of my work week and improved over the days I was home. The
only difference was that he had less formula on my days off. So.....my Ped
suggested my DS must have a milk protein allergy and told us to try
Nutramigen. Well my DS hated the taste and suddenly breast was best. Now he
would fuss at the bottle and would want to nurse. I was never able to pump
enough milk to use while I was at work, so he still received between 4-6 oz
a day on the days I worked. He began to reverse cycle to make up the
difference and was exclusively bf on my days off. Nowadays it's hard to
imagine how close I was to giving up. I sympathize with any one who fell
prey to the myth that they didn't have enough milk. Sorry for the long
vent.....
Majipoor

I think my story falls into this category. I wanted to breastfeed because
it was the way we are made to feed our children. I really did not research
it or anything like that, just thought of course this is the best that is
what they are there for. I was concerned if I would be able to do so, as a
friend of mine warned me how terribly hard it is. She said for the first
three months she cried in pain every time her baby nursed. In hindsight I
realize she must have had some serious problem causing this, but at the
time it really made me doubt if I could do it or not. Anyway Sydney was
delivered via c-section, and three hours later I tried to feed her. For
the first minute she did not latch, then I switched sides. She immediately
latched on, and started eating. The staff was surprised at how well she
did. That first two days were great, and it really helped me get through
the next two weeks. Then the third day my nipples started cracking, and
then got very painful. After about ten days, that cleared up (I guess that
my nipples finally got used to nursing.). Then a couple days later I got
sick with mastitis. That was very painful, but I made it through. Each
time she would nurse, I would think, "After this time I can always give her
a bottle if I need to." Then the next time I would do the same thing.
Taking it one a time, I made it through. Now at 20 months old, we are
still going. Now I am strongly pro-breastfeeding, when before I was not.
Before it did not affect me in anyway how someone fed their baby. Now I
feel so sad when mothers choose not to breastfeed because the mother and
baby are both missing out on something so very special. I am so glad that
I have nursed my daughter. It is truly an amazing gift.
Sherry

I didn't take any special classes about breastfeeding. There was a brief
mention of it in my prenatal class and usually a chapter in the various
pregnancy books I had read. I had no delusions that it would be easy, but
I figured I would just do my best, learning as I went. I didn't really know
about inverted nipples and vaguely remember seeing breast shields in
prenatal class, thinking at the time, geez I'm glad I don't have to wear
those, they look awkward.

I had a long, exhausting labour. I was too tired to even hold my son for
very long and I guess no one thought to show me how to nurse him laying on
my
side. But after a half hour nap, I was like a new woman, ready to get down
to the business of nursing my first born. The nurse brought him to me and
helped me latch him on. Now, looking back as a more experienced mother, I
know she didn't take barely any time to see that we were latched on
properly. She showed me two different nursing holds and made sure I had
the
basic idea on how to attempt one of them. However, it would have made a
world of difference if she had made sure I was at least sitting up right,
propped up with pillows, if not up and sitting in the nice chair in the
corner with the stool that I later learned was to specifically rest your
feet on while nursing. I was left to figure it out on my own and my son
was
HUNGRY! He had a powerful suck and would tolerate no delays.

By the next morning, I was sore. It was then that I got the advice that
could have turned me off nursing for good. When I complained about the
tenderness I was experiencing during nursing, a nurse told me, without even
bothering to take a look, "Oh yeah. I've never met a mother who didn't
complain about it hurting to begin with. It's just normal.". I believed
her- I mean, she was a nurse after all! Who was I to disagree? But by the
next day, I had blisters on both nipples. It felt like my son had a mouth
full of broken glass when he nursed. I knew in my heart that this couldn't
be "normal".

What turned it all around, happened to be a simple shift rotation. I got a
different nurse the third day, someone who had a clue what she was talking
about. When she came in to check on me, she asked me how the nursing was
going. When I complained, she immediately looked at my nipples. She
called
the lactation consultant and brought me some Lasinoh. She got me out of
bed and sitting properly in a chair. She watched me to see how my son was
latching on (fine). It was then she noticed something that the Dr. doing
my
prenatal care should've taken the time to notice months before- my nipples
are partially inverted. After explaining what the problem was, she got me
some breast shells. The improvement was immediate and, to me, miraculous.
By the next day, when the lactation consultant arrived, I was on the mend.

I wore the shells for about a month. They weren't always fun. It took me
awhile to remember to empty them religiously- because of the constant
pressure on the nipples, they tend to fill with milk and then when you bend
over, you get a watering can effect. But they certainly made my nipples
and
some of the areola stand out, giving the baby something to latch onto.
Eventually my son learned to suck hard and get the nipple pulled out
properly and I discontinued wearing them. I nursed my first son for a year
and two years later, when my second son was born, I found my nipples hadn't
returned to their original flat state. I wore the shields the first
postpartum week, to make sure we got off to a good start, and haven't
needed
them since. I am currently enjoying breastfeeding my second son and plan
to
continue at least until his first birthday.
(anonymous)

I had my first in 1995. He was born 2 weeks early and was under only 18"
and 5lbs 13oz. The nurses wanted to give him a bottle of formula so his
blood sugar wouldn't drop, I was not prepared for this and said ok.
They also kept him in a isolette for 12 hours for observation. When I
finally got to nurse him it seemed to go well. He was nursing on demand
but I let the nurses keep him in the nursery overnight (they brought him
to me when he woke up). On the third day my milk came in and my
problems started. I guess I had flat nipples (didn't know about it
before) and he was having a heck of a time getting latched on. I
thought everything would be ok once I got home but it wasn't. He
started getting dehydrated because he wouldn't nurse long enough for me
to let down. He had lost 9 oz when we left the hospital and was
probably below 5 lbs at home. I called LLL but nothing they suggested
seemed to help, I then called the hospital and they said I better give a
bottle. I went and bought some formula feeling like a total failure. I
thought I would try to nurse for a few minutes before I gave the bottle
and this worked. After giving the bottle for a couple of feedings he
seemed happier and wouldn't scream when I tried to nurse him. I ended
up feeding most of the formula to my mothers cats.

Looking back I am sure the bottles he got in the hospital contributed to
him rejecting me at home. I also would recommend the use of a breast
pump for someone with flat nipples, it really help pull them out and
makes it easier for the baby to latch on.

My son turned into a marathon nurser, he liked to nurse as much as I
would let him and I weaned him when he turned 4. I had planned to let
him self wean but I was pregnant and my breasts were super sensitive, he
probably would still be nursing if I had let him.

I am currently nursing a 1 yr. old daughter and I never had any problems
with her. I also found the hospital to be better, one nurse asked me if
I had nursed before and when I said 4 years she said, well you know more
than me so I won't bother you.
--
Jocelyn

When my first was born I was just one month past my 21st birthday. I was sure
I was going to breastfeed, although I couldn't tell you how I came to that
decision. It just seemed obvious to me. I had breasts. They were made to
produce milk. I would produce milk and my baby would drink it. I could see no
point in buying something I could make for free, or even using something from a
can that I could produce with no waste, no mess, no fuss, no trash. I couldn't
imagine something created by business owners could possibly be better for my
child than something created by the designer of my child. Formula just wasn't
in the equation at all. I dutifully wrote that down on my hospital paperwork
and naively thought that took care of it.
My baby was born at a very backward hospital. They whisked the baby away
almost immediately after she was born. The hospital had a strict 4 hour
feeding schedule and no rooming in (this was in 1983, and they should have
known better).
I just barely missed the next feeding after my baby's birth (I was in recovery
being stitched up from an unnecessary epi). That meant the next feeding time
where I would be permitted to see my baby was at midnight. Nurse A. Hun told
me in no uncertain terms that I needed my rest more than I needed my baby, that
if I had any sense at all I would go to sleep and that she certainly would not
wake me at midnight. Having been told that the only way I would see my child
was if I was awake at midnight, I naturally propped my eyes open with
toothpicks and hungrily watched the clock and the door for the next four hours,
waiting with longing for my new little joy and the chance to feed her for the
first time.
At midnight Nurse A. Hun came in, obviously disgusted to find me awake. She
plopped my baby in my arms and stood there coldly staring at us.
I wanted to bf my baby, but I wanted this to be an private experience, between
my baby and myself. I just cuddled my darling and waiting for Nurse A. Hun to
leave.
Nurse A. Hun rolled her eyes, made a face of utter disgust and impatience, and
said, "If you're not going to feed her I will have to take her back to the
nursery. We are busy and have things to do tonight!"
Nervously and shyly I adjusted my ugly hospital gown and tried to go about
nursing.
Nurse A. Hun, sensitive as ever, audibly gasped with horror and shouted, "You
can't nurse that baby- you don't have any nipples!!!!" She then slapped what
looked like the lid to a baby bottle over my breast and stomped out of the
room.
The nipple shield, for some utterly incomprehensible reason, was not the proper
size for any newborn, let alone one weighing less than 7 pounds, and it made my
little girl gag. She was hungry and most unhappy and I was miserable.
Then an angel came into my room. She stepped quickly through the door, first
glancing down the hall for any witnesses. She tiptoed over to my bed, and
whispered, "Don't mind her, honey. She's old and she doesn't like nursing.
You can do it if you like."
As she whispered her words of comfort, she tossed the nasty old shield into the
trash. Then she quickly, competently, impersonally, and matter of factly held
my breast the proper way to get it into a baby's mouth and had my daughter
latched on before I knew what I was happening.
My daughter instantly began nursing hungrily.
I was amazed at the strength of her suction, and awed- completely awed, at the
beauty of what I was experiencing.
I looked up at my angel (in real life a nurse named Charlotte or Charlene- and
I have always regretted not sending her flowers later) with such wonder, such
gratefulness, such joy- I couldn't even speak.
She just smiled at me, there in the dim hospital room, and nodded. "Isn't it
wonderful?! So much nicer than that old piece of plastic. You'll be fine!"

And my baby and I both were fine- even though they fed her bottles of formula
in the hospital without telling me (I realized it when she threw it all up on
me, stinky, smelly, nasty stuff), even though they sent me home with bottles of
sugar water that I didn't know any better than to give her, even though they
continued with their rigid four hour schedule in the hospital, even though I
knew nothing really about the importance of a proper latch (especially with
flat nipples)- and I had bleeding, agonizingly sore nipples for over six weeks.

My baby wanted to nurse, and nothing was going to stop her. I wanted to
breastfeed, and nothing was going to stop me, either. She made it quite clear
she didn't want a pacifier. She wanted me. Once we got home she nursed every
1 1/2 hours, for about an hour each time. The first six weeks I pretty much
did nothing but nurse my baby, change her diapers, and cry with the pain of
latching on the industrial strength human vacuum. But gradually we either
figured it out or I got calloused enough to be able to ignore any
irregularities. By eight weeks she was sleeping through the night, much to
everybody's surprise.
She's now nearly 18 and plans to bf her own children when she is a mother. She
brings us just much joy as ever. Recently she won two tickets to a local play
and I was her chosen guest. She also cajoled her 16 y.o. sister into buying
her own ticket so we could all three go together.
Blessings,

Kanga

The reason I love breastfeeding so much is that it is undeniably the best
thing to do for your child. Parenting can be so subjective and it is hard
to know if you are choosing the right path with so many things, but this one
thing, at least, I can feel confident and proud of. Breastmilk has no
equal. Period. Best wishes,
Now... why I chose to breastfeed (NOT in order of importance)

- it is cheaper than formula
- it is best for my baby
- it is best for my body
Teresa
Mom to Evan, 3 1/2 and Ryan 4 1/2 months.

I was determined to nurse my daughter until at least 12 months - that was my goal. Luckily (or maybe due to good support and faith in myself?) I had very few nursing problems. So as she got older, I didn't worry so much about when we would stop. When she reached 12 months, she was still such a "baby" in my eyes that I couldn't imagine weaning her.

I fell pregnant with my second when my first was 16 months old.

I decided to take one day at a time. I was in no real rush to wean. I was worried about nipple soreness - I had a bad first trimester in my first pregnancy for nipple and breast tenderness. I don't know if it was because I was still nursing, or just a different pregnancy, but I didn't get the same tenderness, so that wasn't an issue.

My oldest continued to nurse throughout my pregnancy - even though towards the end there was very little, if any milk there.

I had night weaned her when I was trying to conceive, but she did start up again for a while, but then stopped night feeding (but not waking!) around half way through the pregnancy.

When my youngest was born, I was in hospital for 4 days and my oldest came in once a day, and had a feed. Once I came home, my oldest wanted to feed all the time. I think it was a combination of my mature milk coming in, and attention - a reaction to the new baby. I was happy to continue feeding her on demand, but it soon got too much. There was certainly nothing wrong with my milk supply, but I was getting tired of feeding a newborn as well as a toddler who acted like a newborn!

I found that I was being inconsistent. Some times I would say "yes" when she asked to nurse, sometimes "no". And "no" resulted in a complete meltdown. So we set some limits. We set certain nursing times, and if my oldest asked in between, I would say "no, not until naptime" for instance. She seemed to deal with this a lot better than a simple "no".

There is no jealousy. The issues I have to deal with are mainly general "2 year old" issues, and those applying to any toddler who has just had a new baby introduced to the house.

I think tandem nursing has worked well. I am not thinking of completely weaning her for a while yet, unless she leads the way. But as during the pregnancy, I will just take it one day at a time.