Breastfeeding Matters

Extended Breastfeeding

(Breastfeeding Beyond The First Year)

My Reflections:

"I personally had no idea I would nurse as long as I have, but am so thankful that I have been able to and am thrilled for every precious moment between my daughters and myself. Toddler nursing is truly a way of parenting through gentle guidance and love, as it is a way of life. Please check out the page of Links for more information and sites devoted to Breastfeeding beyond the first year."

Why Mothers Nurse Their Children into Toddlerhood

by Norma Jane Bumgarner

When I ask mothers who have nursed longer than a year why they chose to do so, they
usually say, "It just seemed natural," or, "He seemed to need it still." Some mothers,
taking their cues from the child rather than the calendar, say, "I never even thought
about it."

One mother describes the way she felt about her child's continued nursing: "I knew and
felt her need for me and her desire to nurse. I love her, and it would break my own heart
to disappoint her and refuse myself to her." If we look past all the social rules, and look
at the children these rules are supposed to benefit, as did this mother, it is not difficult
to see the need our children have for continued nursing - their joy in nursing and their
distress when it is denied. A simple but compelling reason for continuing to nurse is to
please the child. More and more mothers are watching their children and seeing the
need that is there.

Nursing is not only a pleasure, but also quite a convenience. A major task in mothering
is helping your child several times daily to overcome fears or hurts or exhaustion. There
are various ways to comfort a crying child - walking, rocking, singing - but none is
easier or more efficient than nursing. It has been described as a little bit of magic on
your side: presto, a fussy child is happy again.

It is nothing short of amazing how quickly a bruise or scrape stops hurting when the
first-aid includes nursing. And if it is more than a bruise or a scrape, the fact that
nursing does not seem to make the pain go away, tells you quickly that you are dealing
with a bigger hurt that may need extra attention. Other methods do quiet children, too,
but the psychological network of the very young seems to be wired with nursing as the
choice channel for feeling better. Though not all children will verbalize it, nursing
toddlers no doubt appreciate nursing for comfort as much as did the two-year-old who,
having fallen and then nursed, amply rewarded her mother by saying, "Thanks, Mom, for
nursing me. Bye now, I'll be okay."

Teething is the most recurrent physiological cause for discomfort in little children, and
when new teeth are making their gums sore, little ones often ask for a great deal of time
at the breast. Many a nursing mother has been pleased to help her child through the
discomfort of teething with nursing alone, or perhaps with nursing for soothing and cold
celery for biting. Of course we are glad sometimes for the relief that aspirin or
anesthetic ointments can bring when gums get really painful. It is gratifying, however, to
be able to keep our reliance upon chemical comforters to a minimum through use of a
natural analgesic: nursing.

Comforting a sleepy child at bed time and nap time is so easy for families when the
little one is nursing. Rarely do nursing families experience the fuss and tension we have
come to expect in our culture when a little one needs to go to sleep. Nursing is so
effective a tranquilizer for tired children that fathers tease their wives about their
"knock-out drops." Few families who have experienced a nursing child's bedtime or
nap time will ever want to rear a child any other way

Mothers also nurse their children to help them overcome upsets, emotional as well as
physical. Most mothers, even if they do plan to wean, refrain from doing so during an
upheaval such as a family crisis or a move. Nursing is too beneficial to children when
their families are upset or in transition to cut it off at a time when the child may
especially need it. One mother whose family experienced half a year of illness and loss
wrote about nursing her daughter during this difficult time: "Nursing has certainly helped
her; it has been like an anchor in a storm."

Though little ones who are nursing do experience illness, their time at the breast is an
investment toward their good health. Your bloodstream and - to almost that same
degree - your milk, carry antibodies to the infectious diseases you have encountered.
Researchers are discovering new immunological factors in the living fluid that is
mother's milk at a breathtaking rate these days. One of the antibodies, IgG, is in a form
that is destroyed by digestion. But others, such as IgA and certain human milk
leukocytes, have been shown to be quite active in helping little ones fight off disease.
IgA, by way of illustration, protects by serving as a potent barrier, preventing your
nursing child from being infected by specific organisms through his intestinal tract.

Most parents who have had the experience of caring for a nursing toddler cannot
imagine rearing subsequent children any other way. Only four or five of the nearly one
thousand mothers who wrote to me about nursing past one year said that they would not
do so again. And the very few who did not want to repeat the experience were
overwhelmed, not by nursing, but by the attitudes of other people who were against the
nursing.

Excerpted from the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner.

Extended Breastfeeding Links

LLL Toddler Tips: Uncomfortable latch

LLL Toddler Tips: Too old to nurse?

LLL Toddler Tips: Anxiety about weaning

LLL Toddler Tips: Why I nurse my toddler

LLL Toddler Tips: Criticism from relatives

LLL Toddler Tips: Responding to criticism

LLL Toddler Tips: Living on air

Weaning & Mother's feelings

Dr. Jack Newman's guide to breastfeeding

Toddler nursing and the family bed

About.com Nursing a toddler

Nursing a toddler

Extended Nursing

More Extended Nursing

Extended Breastfeeding FAQ

Nursing beyond a year FAQ

Getting family to support nursing beyond a year

One mom's story