PWFFL 2004 Awards Show - Part 4

[03.12.05] Kalamazoo, MI - This has been an amazing event so far. What you missed during the break, was the arrival of what seems to be a full banana cr�me pie delivered to Willa's place at the table. How is such a young woman going to eat that much pie.

Nancy: I'm down here on the floor Jim, and it doesn't seem like she's going to eat it at all. She just has it sitting in front of her while she continues to glare at Jennifer Garner. This could get messy guys, back to you.

Well, I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Oh, here we are, Jennifer is back up to the podium ready to give out overall team effort awards.

Bud Grant Award

This award goes out to the team that had the best genuine draft of the year. This team drafted smart and took players that would help their team out the most during the entire season. This was one of the few awards that were voted on by entire league to help determine the winners of these nominees The Nominees are: Wisconsin Wannabes, Green Bay Slackers, and the Timbuktu Buccaneers

Winner: Green Bay Slackers

This is the first major award in the Green Bay Slacker history and a well deserved one. Green Bay turned their franchise around with great picks of Roethlisberger, Driver, Roy Williams and especially Bettis. After gutting the team with just stables of basically Favre and Ahman Green, the Slackers almost turned themselves into a playoff team, solely on the back of a draft that owner Dave S. fell asleep during.

Marathon Award

Taking a look back to the draft of three years ago will help determine who wins this award. The Marathon Award is given out to the team that had the best draft in 2002 with regards to how well each player would help the team in years to come. The teams with the best three-year plan could be any of the following: England, Rhode Island, and Kalamazoo

Winner: Rhode Island Ridicule

Most of the players from Rhode Island's 2002 team are still with the Ridicule. Combine that with a plan that gave the results of two President's Cups and one Bribin Cup, you have a great plan with great results in 2002.

Bob Vila Award

The Bob Vila award goes to a very deserving team that was able to turn around their franchise and post the greatest improvement from the previous year. Part of the equation was a league-wide vote to help determine the winner. The Nominees are: Green Bay Slackers, Rhode Island Ridicule, N. Michigan Yoopers, and the Detroit Drive.

Winner: Green Bay Slackers

The Slackers did such a great job turning around their franchise, that the added three wins and 337 fantasy points from 2003 can't do it justice. The Slackers turned around the whole attitude of a franchise that was getting used to losing. While they fell short of the playoffs, the Slackers now have some confidence to build on for next season.

Barry Sanders Award

The Barry Sanders Award (formally the Coulda-Shoulda award) goes to the owner that has to be the most frustrated with their team. This team was usually in a position to win but by either coaching errors or by a surprise career game out of one of their players ended up forcing this team to come out on the losing end of the match up. The Nominees are: England Teasers, W. Palm Beach Chads, and the Northern Michigan Yoopers

Winner: W. Palm Beach Chads

This is always a tough award to figure out as there are so many things that go into having a coulda-shoulda season. The Chads, however, had a textbook season for the Barry Sanders Award. Five of W. Palm Beach's losses were all games that the team as a whole outperformed the team they were playing against. With a possible 11-3 season, no other team would have touched them for the President's Cup.

Bill Belicheck Award

The Bill Belicheck Award was first given out in 2003 as a consolation to the England Teasers for their great season with such little talent. This year, the award will be given a more permanent home to the team that gets to the playoffs or on the edge of the playoffs while having a team that has little in the way of talent. The Nominees for this award are: Seattle Slimy Slugs, Timbuktu Buccaneers, and the Rocko Bengals.

Winner: Rock--

"I'll show you who has no talent you dumb @#!%$," Willa exclaims as the banana cr�me pie flies through the air and lands directly on the actress's head. Willa storms the podium and tackles Jennifer Garner and then proceeds to kick her while yelling, "You. Don't. Come in here. And. Tell. Me. I don't have. Any. Talent. On. My. Team." The waiting staff quickly pulled Willa off of Garner, but it didn't stop her from spouting off more hatred, "All your movies suck #%@!#, that's why no one goes to see them. You're in IT and can't ACT! This is my stage, my people, you don't belong here!" Willa's voice trailed off as they escorted her out of the building.

"I don't need this kind of abuse, Puck!" Garner yelled while getting herself up, trying to wipe off the pie thrown on her, "I did this as a favor to you, and you can't even control your daughter. I've had enough of this, you damn nerds can take your fantasy football and shove it, I only played this game so I could get closer to Jerry O'Connell and to help promo my movie on ESPN. I'm out of here!"

(Jennifer Garner rushes her way out of the banquet hall and takes off in her limo.

We have to take a commercial break, but when we return President Puck will try to return some order to the awards banquet and will present this year's highest owner honors.