Original: Euripides
Revision: Rebecca Schuyler
Reference: Paul Woodruff�s translation
Cast of Characters:
Dionysus: Virginia Slim; owner and promoter of the cigarette company
Chorus: Chorus of feminists, deluded by Virginia
Tiresias: Colin Powell; an advisor to both George Bush Sr. and to George W
Cadmus: George Bush Sr.; former president, George W.�s father
Pentheus: George W. Bush; current president
Agave: Barbara Bush; wife of George Sr., mother of George W.
A Soldier
First Messenger
Second Messenger
Reporter; a new character, not in the original
Prologue:
VIRGINIA: (Wears a slim outfit of all black, smokes sophisticatedly throughout her scenes. Her hair is in a black bob and she is generally reminiscent of a girl from the beat generation.) Were you waiting for me? Well I�m here, Slim little Virginia. I am here and I will not be taken lightly as has been the case in the past. So often I have been passed over, while the other cigarette companies receive all the attention, and therefore, all the money. Well no longer! I have come to pronounce the power of women! From this place we launch our new campaign, �Cigarettes are for lovers� with ads so strong that no woman will resist their draw and all of them will try our new brand. These are stronger, and more fun, because we include the secret ingredient: love...and hallucinogenic mushrooms.
The nation will learn its lesson for trying to outlaw smoking, trying to shove smokers aside. I will make women smoke and enjoy it, even celebrate it, and people will see that I am unstoppable. Once we have the women it will only be a very short time before they get their men to smoke too, they aren�t strong enough to resist. Though some men... some think they are. George Bush Sr., he is gone and his son George W. somehow gained the presidency. Despite the fact that he should be worshipping me and the money we pour into Republican campaigns, he pays no attention to my agenda! (She takes a heavy drag on her cigarette, slowly releases.) But, give me time, give me time, my campaign is unstoppable, and my troops of women will surely override the city with their message of the liberation of smoking, they will surround and strike with sophistication, and with addiction. Then, once we take this place we will move on to the rest of the nation, and then Japan, and then the rest of the world, until no one will question our ultimate authority.
CHORUS: (Feminists from all walks of life, all of whom are holding cigarettes and smoking at intervals. They all have various feminist buttons too. They look a bit stoned, and are very celebratory.) We have been freed by the loving power of Virginia, and we follow her in her noble campaign. We run through the streets shouting praise and giving out cigarettes to all the women we meet. They will be freed too, and leave their oppressive homes and families, they will join us in our rally across the nation. All televisions will be tuned to the commercials. Everyone will hear, �Cigarettes are for lovers! Love Virginia Slim� and they will come running, sometimes they won�t even know why, but they will come.
She has shown us so much beauty, so much greatness. It can be found in the tobacco, but also in the power of women. We will sway the world; we will show them the beauty that will set them free. We dance in the streets and sing praises to the magnificent Virginia who freed our souls. �We�ve come a long way baby� and we�re going farther!
Scene Three
Scene Four
Scene Five
Exodus
