COLIN POWELL: Where is George Sr.? He was supposed to meet me here. We have such great plans.
GEORGE SR.: Ah, here you are Colin; I could hear you on my walk over, the voice of a very wise man (smiles). Did you think I wouldn�t come? No of course I�m here. I should be one of the first to pay respects to a woman like Virginia, seeing as how her friends and I go way back. Some might say I�m too old to take up smoking, or that I should know better, but they are short sighted.
POWELL: I couldn�t agree more, I�ve been looking forward to this, and I wish more men had the courage and the foresight to join us. The rest of the men are too mad to join us, they�re enraged with jealousy that their wives left home to meet Virginia.
SR.: And so we�re the only ones who see that we must join her? Ah, what a waste. They�ll miss out on the fun. We need something to take our minds off the troubles abroad.
POWELL: Come then, let�s go. Off into the hills to relax, and enjoy a good smoke.
SR.: Sounds good, I�m not one to argue against big tobacco. I�m a politician (laughs).
POWELL: Right, we don�t try to stop them, and we continue to get paid. It has worked for years in the past, why should it end now?
SR.: Yes, yes. (looks offstage) Well what do you know? Here comes my boy, Mr. President George W (said with a paternal smile). He sure seems hurried; I wonder what he has to say?
GEORGE W.: (to the audience) I�ve just flown in since I heard of the troubles. Our women have left their homes, left their husbands, left their children. They�ve abandoned the family unit that we strive so hard to promote. Without these families who will support my faith-based initiatives? We need private groups to provide aid where the government won�t!
(Makes a noise of disgust) And these women! They�ve run into the hills and say they are liberated. They smoke and they commit adultery, they�re all turning into lesbians, those women have lost all their morals. My own mother is up on that mountain, I�ll stop this dirty business, all this is due to Virginia. I thought I supported tobacco, but it�s turned on me. I can not stand by while that wench destroys the moral fabric of our society. I don�t care who she is, or how much money she has behind her, she has gone too far...
(Catches sight of Sr. and Powell)
Oh ho! It seems that my own father and a trusted adviser are dressed for a relaxing afternoon, as if they were going to join the women on the mountain. Thanks for the laugh dad, I know you know better. Let�s head back into town, I�ll need your help. (They do not follow, instead they stand firm and look resolute.)
(Suddenly upset when he sees this)You! Powell! You have twisted my father�s mind into doing this, are you blackmailing him? Did you encourage this rabble to blaze into my nation? When corporations go this far, I say they are corrupt!
CHORUS LEADER: Holy capitalism W! How can you defame free enterprise? You�ll disgrace your father and your nation!
POWELL: You, you have a tongue that can run on smoothly, and sounds fairly intelligent. But what it says is brainless. Can�t you see that with all the turmoil going on in the world, much of which has been caused by you, people need to relax? It just so happens that there is an herb and a recipe that allows people to let go of their cares and worries, and you want to rip it away from them. Even if you don�t agree with it, you should not take it away from these women, or the men that will inevitably join them. They will not be corrupted simply because of cigarettes. You greatly underestimate their character.
You can not stand up against Virginia or her allies, this is your warning, but so often my advice goes unheeded, I will not be surprised if you tell me I�m wrong.
SR.: My boy, why are you so worried? Listen to Colin, he�s been here to help us for so long. You can be so thoughtless, let someone else think for you. These companies have stood with us, it will only do them and us good if they make more money. Plus, as people become more peaceful from their nice smokes, they will accredit you with this joy too. It�s a good cause. Join us!
W.: You�re wrong! Stay away from me! You have been deluded by liberals. (To his soldiers ) Men! Sweep the city and destroy the ad campaign of that tramp, track her down too. She carried this new disease into our cities; she put this filth into our bedrooms.
POWELL: You�re crazy! What a sniping monkey! You have no idea how much you�ll lose. I call them as I see them, and I say: He who speaks foolishness is a fool.
NEWS REPORTER: (Offstage, V.O., characters on stage have frozen) Reports are coming in, saying that President George W. Bush is rampaging against Virginia Slims new ad campaign �Cigarettes are for lovers.� The Surgeon General included a warning on the new packages that says �Warning: May cause hallucinations and violence.� When asked to comment on this, one woman said she �hadn�t noticed.� Some sources applaud the president�s actions, but most are appalled at his harsh censure of the cigarette manufacturer. Many question the wisdom of such a move, especially at a time when the president really needs to maintain the support of his big business allies, and when everyone is looking for a little peace.