PWFFL 2003 Awards Show

[01.10.04] Kalamazoo, MI - Welcome to the first broadcast of ESPN's new sister station, ESPN Depoofle. ESPN Depoofle will host of a variety of shows that will be of interest to all Puck's World Fantasy Sports, Inc (PWFSI) Members. Our historic first show will be none other than the Puck's World Fantasy Football League's (PWFFL) 2003 Awards Show, hosted by the beautiful Salma Hayek at the luxurious TGI Fridays in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Attending tonight's event are half the owners from the PWFFL and some of their significant others. Kalamazoo, Rhode Island, Rocko, England, Green Bay and Seattle all trekked their way to Kalamazoo for the banquet that proceeded this event. Benton Harbor and Timbuktu were excused from tonight's event due to the loss of a close member of both organizations. Both Wisconsin and Detroit were scheduled to be at the banquet but due to circumstances not foreseen by President Puck, were not able to attend. Owners of W. Palm Beach and N. Michigan did not attend due to major organizational overall both franchises are undertaking due to poor ticket sales.

The awards party got started when the royal family of PWFFL arrived; Puck, Libzie, and Willa. Puck, owner of the Bribin Cup Champion Kalamazoo Vikings, arrived supporting his starting quarterback for most of the season, Daunte Culpepper, by wearing his Kalamazoo Vikings jersey number 11. Libzie of the Ridicule, was the surprise cameraperson for ESPN Depoofle. Not planning to be on camera, she was wearing pants and a nice sweater. Willa came to the banquet the most elegantly dressed of the trio in a wonderful orange and rocko green stripped dress designed by Liz Claiborne.

Fourth to arrive on the purple carpet leading up the TGI Friday's was none other than England Teaser's owner Dave W. Sporting a Teaser Red and Blue kilt along with a dashing black leather vest lead some in the audience to wonder who was his stylist, because the man needs to fire him. Hell's Angels or Irish Pub-hopper, one or the other is what the magazines said after the show. The spirit of the night for Dave though must have been Irish Pub-hopper as he quickly started downing the ale at the bar. Some have said that England took their playoff loss hard and that the country hasn't been this depressed since David Beckham was traded.

The next couple to arrive was England's drinking partner for the night, Dave S of the Green Bay Fudgepackers. Dave S was escorting his lovely wife, Sheila Hoyt Inder-Towelette, who was wearing a Kathy Ireland outfit she apparently bought at K-mart. This was the Green Bay owner's first public appearance since he clinched 12th place in week 14. The Fudgepackers and Teasers hit it off right away as they both toasted a beer and started debating over the NFL playoff game between Teaser favorite Eagles and the Green Bay Packers.

The last owner to arrive was Jabin of the Seattle Slimy Slugs. Jabin came to the party living large, styling, and profiling. He was dressed in a vintage Armani suit and tie. Apparently, winning two Puck Bowls has brought great wealth to the Seattle franchises. His guest for the evening arrived also stunningly dressed. Being Yooper native, the rumor-mill has suggested that Jabin's new girlfriend is actually a N. Michigan spy sent by Jon to tap into all of Seattle's winning secrets.

Dinner got underway and Seattle dished out the big bucks and devoured a full rack of ribs. Puck indulged himself by ordering a steak, while Willa ordered off the main menu and ended up with a sandwich the size of her head. Both Daves were not to be found, but a loud ruckus was overheard in the direction of the bar, both men were trashed by the time the awards were presented.

We have to take a commercial break, but when we return Salma will start giving out awards.