i'm not a goth...

really. i'm not. you can trust me.

you can't?

ok. i see i can't put anything past you.

what is being goth? is it loads of black eyeliner, mascara, and pale face make up? loads of black clothing, velvet longcoats and leather, pvc, vinyl and fishnets? for some people it's just that, and that's fine.

for other people it's hanging out in graveyards, reading poetry, and contemplating life, death, and the enormity of it all. that's fine too.

i don't know how or why i became entwined in the culture. i do know i spent most of my childhood feeling like an outsider. i was ostracised by most of the people my own age, made to feel like a freak. i had few friends as a child, and spent most of my youth alone and entertaining myself. what i turned to were books and music.

i loved, and still love, poetry and literature, especially early and middle english literature. and classic greek and latin literature as well. and philosophy. and comparative religions. as i've gotten older my tastes have changed somewhat. i still love poetry, but much of what i read is speculative fiction and horror.

music...i love so many different kinds of music. i am large, i contain multitudes. bauhaus, depeche mode, cure, joy division, christian death...misfits, samhain, danzig...marillion, pink floyd, king crimson...ministry, nine inch nails, marilyn manson. one constant amongst all of those mentioned groups is a stream of darkness...or brooding...or somberness to them. try as i might (not that i try hard) i continually come back to music that feels at home in the dark...with the moon out...and the lights low.

i don't know how or why i became entwined in the culture. all i know for certain is that many of my closest friends could be 'labeled' as goths. i have been supported, embraced, and made to feel at home. no one laughs if i act different, or laugh at the wrong jokes, or anything like that. there is no wrong amongst friends in the scene...the pagan law 'an it harm no one, do what thou wilt' seems a good way to equate things somewhat. and still it's lacking.

goth isn't about vampires, or being a vampire. it isn't about wanting to be dead, or depressed. it's not about self absorption. it's not about being anti-social, or potentially dangerous. it isn't about columbine. it's about a sense of self realisation, a feeling of belonging. as the quote at the bottom of the page says,

'hate is not a family value!'

places you can find me:

alt.gothic as bill knispel

gothicparents mailing list as bill knispel (NOTE: currently not a member)

graveyard flowers mailing list as bill knispel

ny/nj goth/industrial mailing list as bill knispel

gothicparents yahoo chat as canto_iv or projekct2501 or prjt2501

nicks/screen names/handles

moonglum, canto_iv, projekct2501, prjt2501

please read this page

and this page, too!

or even this one...