"We guard the chain link fence between the U.S. and Mexico against the poor people who want to come pick our lettuce, but if you want to move a nuclear weapon or hundreds of pounds of cocaine into the port of Seattle by container, sure, why not?" - Professor Nixon " 'You snooze, you lose' is an important legal doctrine." - Professor Nixon "The American Revolution was the rejection of being governed by a senile, syphilis riddled monarch in England." - Professor Nixon "Nike doesn't have a factory. Nike has an office building, in Oregon, where a lot of skinny people talk about the next line of shoes they are designing." - Professor Nixon "This is the beautiful thing about admiralty law: I can just say, 'arrest that boat!' and they will." - Professor Nixon "Arrange to have a container filled with really bad stuff and arrange to have it shipped to Providence." - Professor Nixon "And the Indians said, 'you have your place in the ecosystem seriously mixed up, Dutch Boys.'" - Professor Nixon "Two legal philosophies that just went whoosh, like that." (hugs self) - Professor Nixon "You haven't lost your property, you still live there for Pete's sake." - Professor Nixon "Does anyone believe that story? (on the President choking on a pretzel) I think that Laura had simply had enough." - Professor Nixon "Forget Enron, let's go after waiters and waitresses." - Professor Nixon " 'We'll fight you [the British] if you come over here.' And they did, and we did, and we won (with a little help from the French)." - Professor Nixon "It probably wouldn't be enough to kill you." - Professor Nixon on the ceiling tile falling down. "With Regan, it was jelly donuts. With Bill it was chicken wings. So I guess, with George W. it is going to be pretzels." - Professor Nixon "Even if you've never sung in a chorus before, you can still like, watch." - Professor Turner "The damn thing just swims away!" - Professor Juda on the difficulties of whaling "The important thing to understand is that base lines are important." - Professor Juda "Does anyone care to conjure a guess?" - Professor Nixon "A chicken with a tan sells better." - Professor Nixon "How do you make a rat waffle?" - Dr. Husband "How do you kill an octopus? Slam it on a rock, then slam it on a rock again and again until it's finally dead." - Dr. Husband "How do you wash an octopus? Lather, rinse, and repeat." - Dr. Husband "Hit the animals over the head with a shovel, I don't care." - Dr. Husband "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside, it's too dark to read." - Dr. Husband "So conservative, it could be Republican." - Dr. Husband "You gotta get out a box of matches and burn the damn place (forest) down every once and a while." - Dr. Husband "If you have shorts and they fly up your shorts...well, you get the idea." - Dr. Husband "Oh feces!!!!!" -Dr. Husband "Giant self-perpetuating monsters." - Dr. Husband on the Army Corps of Engineers "I love this class! I knew I'd love this class! People in this class kill things!" - Dr. Husband "The people on 'Survivor are a bunch of weanies." - Dr. Husband "Maybe by 2025 we will all look like fried bacon. Why? Because we have no ozone layer and we will all be fried and crispy." - Professor Casado "You eat a turkey that is humongous and apart from that, you stuff it. You eat something called 'salsa de cranberries,' which isn't a sauce because it's solid. The table is full of all kinds of food: vegetables, potatoes, squash...and you ask, 'where is my dish?' because there is no room for your dish. In the end you don't eat so much turkey. I ask why? and you say, 'because the best part of Thanksgiving is the leftovers.'" - Professor Casado "You're growing a baby, don't make it hard." - Dr. Goldsmith "I brought my potato this time!" - Dr. Goldsmith "Well, duh, Dad!" - Dr. Husband |