| "If you are out fishing for halibut and you've only got 2 days and you get tired do you take a break? NO! you take some drugs." - Professor Nixon "Everything I own is for sale. Just give me enough money and sure, I'll sell it to you and go live on an island in the Caribbean." - Professor Nixon "Don't open your door during a routine traffic stop. Always keep your hands on the wheel and a scared smile on your face. That's the situation you want to be in. And always use the word 'sir,' unless it's a woman, then you'd better not use 'sir.' They hate that." - Professor Nixon "I have a remote control for my car. Really dangerous. The VW is worn off so this is a random piece of electronic thingy." - Professor Nixon (shortly after being searched in the airport) "Two of the people didn't show up for jury duty. Judge Torres was not amused; he issued arrest warrants for both of them." - Professor Nixon "So after I 'assault' this young man in the front row I ask him to not sue me and I say, 'How 'bout an 'A' on the quiz? No? On the quiz and on the next quiz? No? In the class? No?! How about this class, and the next class you take? NO!?! And I get you into grad school?' That class, is called a settlement." - Professor Nixon "No, no officers. You can't do that. It's against the law, all laws, laws of nature. No, you can't do that to a suspect. You can't bend him backwards like that using your...(stops)" - Professor Nixon "They put those cool little bracelets on you and ask you to come visit the big house where you get to wear a different kind of school uniform." - Professor Nixon "The lobsters get a nice elevator ride to the surface, tender handling on deck, then they go (holds arms out) 'weeeee,' back to the bottom waving thier claws to feel like they're flying, like we pretend to fly." - Professor Nixon "There is nothing like getting nauseous to get the full experience." - Professor Nixon "There are 2 things you never want to see being made...sausage and laws. There are somethings you don't want to know." - Professor Nixon " 'Dolphin safe' appeals to people who still believe in the Easter Bunny--I hope I'm not shattering anyone's dreams here...the Easter Bunny...no, no...no such thing." - Professor Nixon "Another thing that happened was that the steam ships blew up all the time." - Professor Nixon "It's been a bad week to be the mayor." - Professor Nixon "We'll hear about anything the President says as he bumbles through a press conference." - Professor Nixon "He told his wife he was doing some manly navigational stuff. He was probably watching TV is what he was doing." - Professor Nixon "Don't confuse fairness with law. Law is about predictability." - Professor Nixon "There's a different level of screw-up here. Not sure if that's a word, but I just used it." - Professor Nixon "You get 1500 old people on board a cruise. You feed 'em too much, get 'em drunk, keep 'em up too late and make 'em say 'yee haw' on more time and they're bound to go. Happens every week. --'Madame, would you like to get off here in St. Tomas and fly home with the body?' --'No! are you kidding? He'll enjoy the ride, put him in the meat locker.' This may sound sexist, but it's never the women who die. Always the men." - Professor Nixon "Each cruise ship comes back with 6 dead bodies and a couple dozen law suits." - Professor Nixon "This is a field trip. Your next trip to the grocery store, think like a lawyer." - Professor Nixon "The entire jury pool that day was made up of people who sat at home watching soap operas." - Professor Nixon "Fishing is long periods of boredom mixed with moments of sheer terror." - Professor Nixon "Let's talk about that happy day when your vessel runs into my vessel." - Professor Nixon "The frigate ship has so much fire power that if that frigate ship got mad at Rhode Island, Rhode Island would just go away." - Professor Nixon "Some thing like: 'oh gosh golly' in Greek." - Professor Nixon "Back to work, I'm having too much fun." -Professor Nixon "I'm thinking of teaching a new class. Sea stories 101. I could have fun doing this all day." - Professor Nixon "I've just hit 1BI (1 Block Island Buoy). Please send rescue, I'm sinking." - Professor Nixon "Ni, ni. watch 'Monty Python' and you will understand." - Professor Davidson "You're going out with him and he's two feet taller than you and you're kissing how?" - Professor Davidson |