| "I'm a really fun guy at cocktail parties because I say, 'when I'm flushing, where's it going?'" - Professor Nixon "Wait a minute, you're the lawyer for the state of South Carolina and your name is Cotton?! They wouldn't do this in a made for TV movie." - Professor Nixon "Back row, no dozing, only guessing. Let's work on guessing here." - Professor Nixon "If you're the British Earl of Humpty-Dump..." - Professor Nixon "So, you go in as little Mr. Flounder and come out chopped, cooked, ex-flounder." - Professor Nixon "You see...promise not to tell anyone...but Cotton was born ~whispers 'up north.'~ He moved to South Carolina as a boy. His real name was Sherman. Now, do you remember your civil war history? What did Sherman do? Right, he burned the South. So, young Sherman had a few problems because if you say the name Sherman in the South, they hit you. So Sheman's parents went and legally changed his name to Cotton." - Professor Nixon "So there I am, holding that jumbo check and I looked around. Security at that door, security at that door, shoot! Oh well, it was made out to the U.S Government anyway so I probably couldn't have cashed it." - Professor Nixon "When Captain Hazelwood ran his tanker into Blyth Reef, I asked the class this same question and the majority wanted to execute him." - Professor Nixon "When you stack up all the studies--done on the etchisketches..." - Professor Nixon "Biostitute: person with a degree in biology or fisheries who will work for whatever the bad guys are willing to pay." - Professor Nixon "A bunch or guys would get together for three days, scream at eachother and go home. That was the fisheries council in its early years." - Professor Nixon "Frank Perdue, the Poultry Czar of Delaware." - Professor Nixon "If you eat marigolds, you too will have yellow skin. Try it sometime, amuse your friends." - Professor Nixon "If you were stuck on a desert island with only sand and menhaden to eat, you'd try the sand first." - Professor Nixon "Instead they went on E-bay and bought a Russian submarine, which had been converted to a restaurant in Halifax, Nova Scotia. And just yesterday, it showed up off of Providence. They had a few problems getting it here though, the tow line broke and at one point they had to radio the coast guard that there was a Russian sub adrift in Buzzards Bay." - Professor Nixon "What the hell are Russian ships doing in Naragansett Bay?!" - Professor Nixon "Wow! It's just like a movie set." - Professor Nixon about the interior of the Russian ship in the Bay "We used to call this the Lenin Room. Now we call it the rec room." - Professor Nixon (in a Russian accent imitating his tour guide on the Russian ship. "You could just see where all the Communist stuff had been pried off the walls." - Professor Nixon "Pictures?! Sure! we are not Communists!" - Professor Nixon (again imitating the tour guide) "Mackrel and Herring (the Russians like that) on that nice black bread. yum yum." - Professor Nixon "I brought them a little momento from America; a bottle of Jack Daniels and I said to the captain, 'like vodka, only better.' He said, 'better than vodka!?' and I said, 'well, you be the judge of that, Captain.' " - Professor Nixon "Anyone want to know what 'essence of crab' is?" - Professor Nixon "Libya has submarines, we understand they are afraid to go underwater with them, but they still own the submarines. Tunisia has...sand." - Professor Nixon "At the time I was working for the world's most dangerous nation." - Professor Nixon "A really good legal decision is when both sides think they lost." - Professor Nixon "We took the big U.S Navy eraser and took away the 'line of death.' " - Professor Nixon "The lumber company threw up their hands and moved to Chile where if someone tried to do the same thing (steal the fish on their way back to the hatchery) they'd get shot." - Professor Nixon "If you were wondering where and when you'd want a police state. Here's one: Deny people their rights, it's better for the salmon." - Professor Nixon "The Industrial--frikkin--revolution!!" - Professor Nixon "Not to forget that great port in Idaho. Did anyone know that there is a port in Idaho? I didn't." - Professor Nixon "The Army Corps of Engineers, our friends who have an engineering solution to every problem. Instead of making the river safer for the salmon, they just brought them down the river on barges." - Professor Nixon "Mel Gibson es feo." - Student "Tu pelo es feo." - Professor Davidson "Why was no one representing the fish? Because fish are not a charismatic megafauna, not a panda bear: the symbol for the World Wildlife Fund, not photogenic like a rhino." - Professor Nixon "They [the fish] were down there, by the way, they were slimey and if you left them out in the sun too long, they got stinky." - Professor Nixon "They're in the middle of frikken nowhere." - Professor NIxon |